The steps of a good man (or woman)

"My prayer for you in 2013", he said in an email, "is that you will read, reflect and write".

Hum.  I love to read, I am reflective and I certainly love to write.  This will be one time that Coulter Schmitt's prayer will be answered with no problem.

Except for the fact that I have become so used to being busy that I feel guilty when I sit down to do anything - much less read a book, think about it (unless you count the thinking I do when I am driving or walking) and I can't quite get my head around that I should actually spend time writing - something that gives me this much pleasure.

Am I a "workaholic"? No, but I do thrive on the idea presented in the verse that says "Whatsoever your hand findeth to do, do it mightily as onto the Lord" (Ecclesiastes 9:10).

January presented many opportunities as did February which is just four days from being over.  However, I started reading A Good Man, by Mark Shriver.  Subtitled, Rediscovering My Father, Sargent Shriver, it offers much insight into the Kennedy in-law who started the Peace Corps, Job Corps, Head Start  and helped his wife, Eunice, start the Special Olympics.  I finally  finished the book this morning.

My parents are not celebrities.  They loved God and each other - and their four children, 11 grandchildren and now 16 great grandchildren.  And yet as I read Mark Shriver's accounts of growing up and being loved by parents who loved God and each other and their children, etc. etc, etc., my mind could easily slip into the way my siblings and I have felt about them. 

When my dad died in 2009, his minister asked me what was the best thing that I knew about daddy and I said that I am his child.  Might have sounded a bit pompous, but I appreciated what both of my parents did - because they loved God, each other, and us - to help us become who we are.

Shriver said that after his dad died, just 19 months after their mother, he kept hearing that his dad was a good man.  He wanted to know why people thought that so he spent time reflecting on his life  - delving into his dad's history, reading what had been written, talking to people he had known, but most of all reflecting on his years as the son of this man.

And - he not only wanted to know why his father was viewed as good - he was also searching - for a way to be the same kind of man his father had been.

Which brings me back to my siblings and me.  If you ask any one of us, what part of your dad's legacy do you most appreciate I think you would get the same answer - he lived by faith!

As I read A Good Man, I kept thinking of a verse in Psalms -  "The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord. . .", (Psalm 37: 23a ).  In my mind, that verse means when we allow the Lord to order our steps (as did Sargent Shriver and Earl Huffingham), then we will be knows as "a good man" - ahem  - or woman!

 

My Top Ten. . .Reasons I love Valentines

I am hopeless. . .

I am hopelessly. . .

I am a hopelessly Romantic.

While some count the days til Christmas, I have been known to count the days til Valentine's Day.

Even when I haven't had a Valentine - I love the Hallmark cards, the stories of love found and yes, even love lost, and all the mushy, sentiments of the day.

This morning I find myself in a list mode - so here they are  - my top ten reasons that I love Valentine's Day. Some are memories and some are present day

10 - My very first Valentine - Earl Huffingham.  Daddy loved to give my sister, Cindy, and me valentines - candy from Cohen Brothers.  We knew his first valentine was our mother - but we also knew how much he loved us.

9 - My childhood valentines - from David Sparks to Gary Mincey to Bobby Drashin.  They are still special to me.

8 - My high school valentine - David Winkles - he got away - but we had a good time.

7 - My children's father - Ray Parker;  that's the best thing I can say about him - he is my children's father - and if you know my children, you know he did a good thing!

6 - The men who were in my life between 1982 and 2012 - including Rich Suhey who was a dear and who had so much to do with making me who I am today.

Enough about the past.

5 - The strong bond of friendship that I share with many - so many that I hate to start naming them - but from my mother to my sister and sisters in law to daughters, aunts, cousins - and a long list of women that have been such a blessing in my life!

4 - Tray Parker - who is neither my first nor my last valentine, but such an unexpected blessing, who with lots of love and prayer has fought his way to the top.  My third child and only son has always known the way to this mother's heart.

3 - The valentine on my refrigerator that says "I love you, Grandma" that came the day some of my grandchildren made valentine cookies in my garage.

2 - The fact that I have no trouble deleting all those E-Harmony, Match.com, Christian Mingle emails that clutter my in-box.

1 - Coulter Schmitt!  What a privilege and honor it is to be his sweetheart! 

Happy Valentine's Day - 2013

OOPS - almost forgot my brothers - Jonathan and Lester - they are also very, very special to me!

A blessed Lent???

"You're never fully dressed without a smile. . .". Those words from a song of that same name as heard in Annie, seem like an odd way to start a blog on Ash Wednesday.

I also considered the answer from my daughter-in-law when asked what she used to make herself beautiful and she said the basics – soap and water and a smile.

Thoughts about smiles came to my mind when I read a Lenten message by the Rt. Reverend S. Johnson Howard, 8th Bishop of the Diocese of Florida.

Bishop Howard said Ash Wednesday should make us smile!

When you consider that I have been "churched" since birth – and have never had a time that I was not involved in worship and service in a local church, you may be surprised to read that I am a relatively new participant in the holy day of observation known as Ash Wednesday.

I believe my first Ash Wednesday experience was a mere 16 years ago when I attended a service at the Church of the Assumption with Rich Suhey. To my recollection, I don't believe I have missed an Ash Wednesday service since that one.

Prior to that, if you had asked me about Ash Wednesday I would have known nothing. I would have probably just said it's the beginning of a time for repentance, a time when people give up something they really enjoy as a sign of their repentant heart.

I would have thought it to be a bleak, dismal and sad experience and that the dark smudge on one's forehead represented all of that person's sin,

I now understand that repentance is not the first thing. God's Grace is.

In Bishop Howard's words, "when we recognize that Grace, it is the first step to our repentance which leads us to conversion and turning of our hearts toward God."

Which means the important thing about Ash Wednesday and about this Lenten Season should not be the dark smudge on our foreheads, but the smile on our faces... and the joy in our hearts on account of Him who died for us and rose again.

 

Maybe that's why some say "Have a blessed Lent". It's not about how bad we've been – instead it is about how good God is.

And I KNOW the author

"Birds of a feather, flock together".

That statement is very true.  At least when it comes to me and my friends - because many of them are also writers. 

I have written before about my friend, Deborah Fairchild Hansen.  She is a wonderful writer and in our five year friendship, I have learned so much from her - not to mention the fact that she has been one of my greatest encouragers when I try to imagine myself as a writer.

Deb's latest offering into the world of words (at least the one that is now a  published manuscript) is Nothing to Complain About an account of her endeavoring to overcome "complaining". 

A few weeks ago, my friend Jessica, posted a remark about that book on her Facebook page.  You can imagine my excitement as I read that Jessica had ordered it.  I was quick to send her a Facebook message. 

I know the author! 

And I've been working on creating the opportunity for them to meet.

This week I had coffee with Virginia Pillsbury (she's a contributing editor for Beson4). I had recently read a great story about her mother.

It was as if I could hear her voice.

After all - I know the author.

And then there's my friend, Dorothy Fletcher and when I read Growing Up Jacksonville: A 50s and 60s River City Childhood  -  it was as if  I could hear her voice

Or how about - Tuck Eudy, who writes for The Upper Room.  His words were in the February 1 edition. 

A mutual friend remarked that as he read Tuck's words that day it was as if he could hear Tuck's nice voice, telling the story.

Again - we know the author.

You know what else - when I read the Bible - it's as if I can hear God's voice -- maybe not audibly.  In fact, I usually hear that in my own voice - or someone I've heard read that passage. Sometimes I even hear my granddaddy Nesmith's voice reading the Scripture.

After all, he knew that author - and so do I!

But I don't have a sofa

It is the last day of 2012.

For me, it has been one of my best years ever.

A year ago, my friend Debbie were visiting on New Year's Eve.  We talked about what we hoped 2012 would bring.

She wanted a regular dance partner. 

I wasn't sure what I wanted.  I had wanted to be published for many years and I knew that was going to happen in 2012. I might like to travel and I wondered what I would do for a job when the Episcopal Diocese of Florida's annual convention was over as it would be in January.

I wanted my children to have joy and success and I wanted my mother to be comfortable in my home as small but significant changes continued to be a part of who she is.

Did I want a regular dance partner?

I didn't know.

I remember that I said it might be nice to have someone to date, but that I really couldn't get involved with anyone.  Between my mother and finishing the writing project, I didn't really think I had time.

Besides my living room has four chairs - no sofa...if you date someone shouldn't you have a sofa?

A little lame, right?

That was a year ago today..

This past Saturday night Debbie and I were together again - just before she went "dancing" with Jack Edwards and I came home to enjoy some time on a small sofa  that is now a  part of the decor in my home office.  Earlier in the day I had rearranged the furniture in my living room to get it ready for  another sofa that's on it's way to my home.

And of course, I didn't come home alone.

"Delight yourself also in the Lord and He shall give you the desires of your heart," (Psalm 37:4).

...Even those you think you do not have!

Words on a page

Everybody has a story.

And most people like to share it.

I have been called a "nosy so-in so".  (Note:  These words are offered from a heart full of love.  I am not in the least bit offended).

Actually I am not nosey.  I am curious.  No wait - I am interested!

And when I hear the story I love to share it. 

My best means of doing that is with words on a page.

In 2010 I was presented with a wonderful opportunity.

"My name is John Compton".

I listened to to my voice mail.  I listened to it again.  What was he saying? 

"I am working with the Duval County Medical Society to publish a book about the history of the DCMS and I would like to talk with you about being one of the writers".

I knew about the Medical Society.  My mother had done some work on their directory when our friend, John Nill, was in the publishing business.  Our family friend, Dr. O.E. Harrell, had been instrumental in that organization many years ago.  And  my friends Marigrace Doran and Leora Legacy  worked for DCMS. 

"Was I interested?"

Was he kidding?

And so it was that after being a nosy, curious, interested person - who talked with more than 75 physicians or practice administrators, my words are on a page.  It's a nice coffee table book that can be found in doctor's offices and at some local bookstores and I've heard there's a possibility that it's coming to the Barnes and Noble on-line bookstore.  I don't think those details have been finalized.

The best thing I know about all of that is that it fulfilled one of my lifelong dreams.  I am published.  Leora wrote the history and I wrote 75 of the 100 physicians/practices that are included and worked with Marigrace who worked on graphics, layout and photographs.  Our photos and bio are on the inside flap (along with another writer, Kara Pound).

However, my friend Deborah Hansen has done what I really want to do. 

She has done what poet William Wadsworth exhorted  when he said "Fill your paper with breathings of your heart."

Deb's first book Broken Strings: Wisdom for Divorced and Separated Families, was published in  2007.  She took her experiences as a single mother and shared them as a handbook for the many other parents who find themselves "going this parenting route - alone".  In 2010 Deborah accepted the challenge of going 21 days without complaining.  It took her 125 days but she did it!

For my birthday this year, Deb gave me an empty journal.  These words in her handwriting are on the inside flap  "Why do writers write?  Because it isn't there." (Thomas Berger). 

That's why we put our words on a page - because in our minds - no one else has put them there. 

Like Deb, I have been writing since I was a child - poetry, essays, a couple short stories, a column on Jacksonville.com. and now this blog. 

But still a dream - of being published...I mean putting the breathing of my heart on paper...So watch out world.  More of my words are going to be on a page.

Is that Jesus?

It is one of my most precious memories.

 

I have always been very involved in the church.  I became a Christian as a first grader and grew up loving to sing and share as a part of my worship experience.  I loved the life God had planned for me as a pastor's wife. 

 

Although I was not raised in a church where the worship was liturgical, I have always appreciated that kind of worship. I love the procession of the choir, crosses, banners, lay Eucharistic ministers who will assist at the rail during communion  and the clergy. I love the responsive position of worshiping. When the scripture is read, I love to hear "the word of the Lord to which the congregation responds "Thanks be to God". I love the corporate prayers of the people that precedes the prayer of confession and I really appreciate it when the celebrant instructs the people to greet one another with a message of God's peace.

In 1981 I lived in Louisville, Kentucky with my minister husband and our three children.  I'm still not sure how I did this but I convinced him that we should go to a midnight worship service at Christ Cathedral in downtown Louisville.  In retrospect, I feel like he was most agreeable, although this was really out of his comfort zone. 

 

We sat in the back of the beautiful cathedral and I watched as our children who were then 10, 7 and 4, took it all in.  As in any service like this, the Bishop was the last to come in and he sat at the front in the Bishop's Chair.  Because I am now an Episcopalian, it all makes sense to me.  Back then it was strange and unique but very beautiful.

 

I then heard a little familiar voice - "Mommy," the voice was meek.  Those children knew about behaving in church. 

 

I looked down the row and  saw my four-year-old leaning forward.
 

"Is that Jesus?"  He was pointing to the Bishop.

 

I told him no but that the man was going to tell us about Jesus which although I don't remember the sermon, I am sure he did - as he shared the message of Hope, Peace, Joy and Love with us that night - a night that remains one of my dearest Christmas memories.

 

Why?  Because the best gift Ray Parker and I gave our  children is the gift of faith! Oh, they had to make the decision to accept that gift (which is from God, through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ).  But we presented them with opportunities to hear and more than that to see how the hope, peace, joy and love of the Christ child could change their lives and the lives of others!