How do you like your eggs?

Johnny Montgomery was my best friend in high school.  I promise, promise, promise that he was NEVER my boyfriend.

However, one of the things that we could do for hours - was talk - on the phone or in our family kitchen -- sometimes until late at night.

One night stays in my memory.  Everyone in my family was asleep - upstairs.  We just kept talking - maybe about the Bible or what our plans were for our Youth for Christ Club or probably about my love life,

Suddenly, or so it seemed to me, my daddy was walking over to the kitchen cabinet and leaning down to pull out a frying pan -

"How do you like your eggs, Johnny?"

We still laugh about that moment.  I can assure you that Johnny left straight away. And many years later when my daddy lay dying, Johnny visited him, prayed for him, and they both remembered how special my friendship with him had been.

So, how do you like your eggs?

I love an omelet. I thought of that this week when I read "You cannot have an omelet unless you break the eggs." I'm not sure who to credit for those words.  I do know that I "get it".

It is the last day of 2016.  As i reflect on these 365 days that are now in my rear view mirror, I know there have been times when my eggs have been broken.

Our church was beginning a "shepherding program".  Would I participate?  Of course.  I love to hep others.  And then I realized that I have shepherding responsibilities in my own family.  I am my mother's shepherd.  HUM.  That decision freed me up to do something else - lead a Bible study for women.  We named the Bible study "Wonder Women" with a tag line - "Have you ever wondered what the Bible has to say to you?"  Those women have added so much to my life! They are like the combination of all the ingredients that would go into an omelet: a little ham, green pepper, onion, and lots of cheese.

The eggs got broken for me when I got a call that my services would no longer be needed at the home builder where I was working as a sales assistant.  I was most disappointed, for that position had been not only been fun, but it was what I thought to be my ticket to financial freedom.  Yeah right.  What in the world is "financial freedom"?

That news led me to the bank that holds my mortgage.  Friends had encouraged me to investigate refinancing at that same bank.  I thought there was no way. However, after many weeks and lots of work, this week my new loan was closed,

And in the meantime, the home builder called me.  Would I come back? Were they kidding?  I absolutely love the time I spend assisting the realtors, watching houses being built and then being there when families are given the keys to their new homes.

Neither of my examples is earth shattering.  I know that.  I've not lost anyone dear to me.  My financial status is acceptable for my lifestyle, my health is good.  I don't know what 2017 holds.  I do know that it is my prayer that whenever any of the eggs in my life get broken, I'll endeavor to know that those eggs can make an omelet.

"Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up.  You will increase my honor and comfort me once more".  Isaiah 71:20-21

May your life be filled with enough sunshine

to make you appreciate the shadows

Doing what they always did

As Advent approached, I decided that I wanted to participate in some sort of daily meditation as a means to embrace the significance of this time in Christendom really.  I made a trip to my local Christian bookstore (Lifeway) and purchased A 28 Day Advent Devotional From Heaven, by A. W. Tozer.

I will be truthful.  I didn't really like it.  However, I read the appointed passage each day and when I was thinking of what I want to say I scanned the pages and found at least one sentence that I had underlined.   He wrote "how easy it might have been for God to have never shown us that He loved us" which is certainly what He did when He gave us His only Son.

That said, when I wasn't enjoying the aforementioned book, I found another.  And every day I have read from Waiting here for you, An Advent Journey of Hope, by Louie Giglio.   Fortunately, this one spoke to me.

Especially what I read today.

"On this night, shepherds were doing what they always did, keeping an eye on Bethlehems's sheep."

These ordinary men were most likely on the bottom line of an org. chart.  Maybe some had dreams of becoming a master shepherd but for the most part they were just tending sheep.  Not a very glamourous job for sure.  And Giglio points out that because of their profession, they were ceremoniously unclean - they couldn't go to the temple, even if they wanted to.

And yet, as they stood watch, something glorious happened.  An angel spoke - and then others sang - and then they went to Bethlehem.

They didn't need permission to go to the manger and they were privileged to see the Baby who had been born that night.If Jesus had been born in a mansion, they would not have been welcomed.

Sometimes my life seems very mundane.  It seems that others are having more fun, completing projects that have great value, being recognized.  Truth be told, I'd rather be one of the wise men.  I like bringing gifts.  Or I wouldn't have minded being an angel - or even the innkeeper.

Who wants to be a shepherd?

And yet when I look at the shepherds, recognizing that they were doing what they always did, I realize that what is important for me is to keep doing what I always do.  That's my plan for 2017.

May your life be filled with enough sunshine

to make you appreciate the shadows

The best gift

"You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving."

                                                                                            Amy Carmichael 

 (12/16/1867 - 1/18/1951)

We all have one - or two or three -

Favorite gifts I mean.

In the words of a song - "the best gift that I ever got, didn't really weigh a lot...the gift that drove me wild was a tiny newborn child".  That would have been true in my life in 1971 and in 1974.  Both of my girls were born just a few weeks before Christmas.  And then in 2002 - the alphabet blocks that Tray and Kristen presented our family with - B A B Y - spelled out another incredible gift.  My third grandchild would be born that next year.

Tray has always had a knack for giving.

When he was a little boy, he earned money to buy a waffle iron at a yard sale. When he was in college, he chose this train - something he knew I wanted when he was growing up, but never felt I could afford.  That was 20 years ago.

In 2014,  just before Christmas, I had a little "fender bender" that meant I was going to have a purchase another vehicle.  I remember that I remarked to Tray - "well, there goes your Christmas present".  I have taken the easy way out and given a monetary gift to Tray and his sisters for many years.  I did draw from my daddy's playbook however and found another pocket from which to get my children's gifts which I proudly put into three Christmas cards.  All the presents had been opened when Tray (as the family spokesperson)  gave me an envelope filled with the same bills that I had just given them.

We are approaching the fourth Sunday of Advent.

Which brings me back to the Amy Carmichael quote at the beginning of this blog. Born and raised in Ireland, Amy was the eldest of seven children who were brought up to love God and enjoy Him forever. When she was 22, she heard  Hudson Taylor, who founded the China Inland Mission speak about missionary life and determined that to be what God would have for her.  After a short time in Japan and Sri Lanka, she went to Bangalore, India where she ministered for the rest of her life. I have read that she spent 55 years in India without a furlough (the antiquated word used to describe "a time away from one's mission").  Her faith and love for God are in my mind beyond admirable.   When an injury confined her, she never quit ministering. With pen in hand, she shared challenging thoughts of the importance of serving the God she loved. The quote about loving and giving is one of my favorites.

As someone who likes to put my thoughts into words, sentences, paragraphs, etc, I can so identify and appreciate this "woman of faith."

And when I think of  "best gifts," they are the ones that come...with love.  After all, that's what God did.  He loved the world and gave His Son. . ." which makes the Christmas story as much about a cross as it is a manger.

May your life be filled with enough sunshine

to make you appreciate the shadows

I'm not lost

......I just don't know where I am.

Some of my friends don't like to go on adventures with me because when I am not sure where I am or how I am going to get to where we are going, I don't get upset.

At least that's the way it was until the last couple of days.

I was spending the day with my Naples family, relaxing some and taking care of a few errands.  One special task was to find a mail center and send four boxes of Letters for Luv canvases that my granddaughter Allie, had created.

Easy...except...I had a very difficult time finding a UPS store and I missed more than one turn.  Now I had thought this through.  I had done the research.  I knew where I was going.  Right.  Everything looked the same. And finally, though I didn't want to - I had to call my guru, my son in law, Wally.  He's a city planner.  He knows everything about highways.

By and by I found the place and although it was more expensive than we hoped, the packages are on their way.

You would think I learned my lesson.

My friend Deborah will not travel without an Atlas.  Did I need one?  Of course not.

The time for my return trip arrived.

I left Naples, made the first appropriate turn and then made a wrong one.  I needed gas, so I drove on. I wondered if there are gas stations in that part of the world. Once that was done, I thought I must be close to the Interstate, so I kept going.  The car's compass read north.  I just assumed I would run into Interstate 75,

An hour and 10 minutes later, I finally reached I75 in Ft Myers.  This part of my journey should have taken about 30 minutes.

Yes, I have directions on my phone.  I even have the ability to verbally ask for help and get a nice response.  But of course, as I finally realized I was asking for I95,  GRRRR,

And yes, I did stop for directions - and at all three places I was met by language barriers.

You have no idea how happy I was when I saw a sign that said I75 North.

With great relief, I made my way onto the highway and then I started thinking about what I had done.

I wondered did I learn anything?

I'll get an Atlas before I take another trip.  I'll also print a map of the area I am going to visit.

And do I find any spiritual truth in what happened?

John Newton said it best "I once was lost, but now I'm found, was blind but now I see."  I'm pretty sure (and very grateful) that it was God's "grace that brought me safe thus far. . ." and that same grace led me home.

I've known about that grace my whole life and it's been real to me since I was a first grader and realized that although I was a good little girl (at least in my mind I was), I still needed to have a personal relationship with the reason we celebrate Christmas (and more than that Easter).  He is "the way, the truth and the life" and so I'm never really lost.

May your life be filled with enough sunshine

to make you appreciate the shadow

Thanks for the Memories

It is Thanksgiving Eve, 2016.

Tomorrow the most common question one might hear is "what are you thankful for?"

We are just supposed to be thankful on Thanksgiving Day?  Of course not.  But it is a good time to take a moment to reflect.

My friend, Wendy, was very complimentary as she spoke to another friend about me.

"She has an incredible memory."

Yeah, I do have quite the memory.

And on this morning I am rememboring so many Thanksgivings . . .

When I was a little girl, my grandma Pauline Mercer Nesmith and her sisters often celebrated Thanksgiving together.  She had four sisters who lived in the area, and their children were my parents' friends as well as cousins. Their children and I went to the same church and school.  We shared in the joy and sadness.  I guess you might say that one of the things I am still thankful for is that incredibly large family of Mercer cousins.

College and marriage prevented me from being in Jacksonville for many years. That didn't prevent me from celebrating Thanksgiving with my family.  They came to me.

One special time they came was in 1979.  For the first time since 1965, the plan was for my little family to be in Jacksonville for Thanksgiving. However, an unfortunate accident prevented that.  I was heartsick as I called to say that Tray had been burned and we would be in the hospital for the next few days.  Not to worry - my family just packed up Thanksgiving and came to us.

The first Thanksgiving that Ray Parker and I had separated, our family traveled to Florence, South Carolina and enjoyed Thanksgiving with the Capps.  That's a sad memory, one I choose not to dwell on.  Except my dear North Carolina friends. Ronald and Julia Queen came to see us, and I'll always remember a sweet time of fellowship and Ronald's precious prayer for me.

In 1986, Ray's mother, Margaret, was near death.  So the children and I (with my parents) traveled to Winston-Salem, North Carolina to say goodbye.  We took a small turkey breast and some of the trimmings and had a Thanksgiving picnic in a Georgia State Park and we all remember that as a fun time.  We even have a video of us singing "Come, ye thankful people come".

18 years later, I had married Rich Suhey that spring, and he was already gone.  A massive coronary took him just eight months into our marriage.  It was a devastating time - especially since we had planned to be in San Francisco to celebrate Thanksgiving, so no one had made plans for me to be a part of Thanksgiving.  In a very dear gesture, Renee, Wally, and Tray suggested we go out for Thanksgiving.  We had done that once when my children were teenagers.  We could do that again.

And so we did - only this time we went to Cracker Barrel.  We had gone to the Hilltop many years before.

This year, Thanksgiving is a little different once more.  Thankfully, no one has died, no marriages are in dire straights.  Things are really quite good.

And I am going to make a new memory with Iva Lou.  We are going to share Thanksgiving with some of the people who are her new table mates at Brookdale Mandarin.  If she were writing this she would surely say that is what she is thankful for - and so do I.

It is our mother who taught us one of her favorite scriptures - one she lives by.

We don't have to wait until Thanksgiving Day to say thanks!

But I prayed . . .

Election Day

The first time I voted was in 1968.  That was back in the dark ages when one needed to be 21 to vote.

I remember that it was the middle of the day on Wednesday, November 9 before we knew that Richard Nixon had been elected.  That had been such a turbulent time. Martin Luther King and Bobby Kennedy had been assassinated.  George Wallace had been crippled in an attempt on his life Viet Nam was a huge issue and both Ray Parker and I had lost friends in the that conflict

48 years and 12 elections later we hopefully will go to bed on Tuesday night knowing the results. We surely will know when we awaken the next morning.

About half of my friend will be distraught - while the other half are elated.

And what I keep thinking about is that many of them are fervently praying that their candidate will win or in some cases simply that the other candidate will lose.

Either way,  I think I'll hear "But I prayed. . .".-

Which brings me to a memory of my daddy.

My granddaughter, Allie has a life-altering illness, an immune disorder that prevents her blood from making the proper number of platelets. She was three years into the diagnosis in 2009 when my daddy was nearing the end of his life.  He spent most of his time in the bed or a recliner.  He prayed a lot.

One day he wanted to talk with me about something important.

He asked about Allie.  And when I said that the tests were still showing that she didn't have enough platelets, he puddled up.

"But I've prayed that God would make her well," he said through his tears.

Well, daddy, we can pray, and we can believe - but what we pray for doesn't always happen.  In fact, Allie is now 13 and a half and low platelets is still an issue.  She has been poked and prodded, medicated and even had surgery to remove her spleen (the residing place of the virus that is believed to be the culprit of this disease).

So do we stop praying?

Not in my book.

OR Alfred Lord Tennyson's.  He said, "More things are wrought by prayer than this world dreams of."

And the Apostle Paul tells us to "Pray without ceasing."

So if your candidate doesn't win, please don't think God did not answer your prayer.

Just pray more - for our country and those who lead us.  Democrat, Independent, Republican.

May your life be filled with enough sunshine

to make you appreciate the shadow

Untangling the mess

 I have lots of good Halloween memories...

....from my childhood, I especially remember the year I was too old to go trick or treat.  Donned in one of my mother's  black dresses and a witch's hat, I served witches brew (lemonade) from an old black cauldron to the many children of Sans Souci.

...from my memory bank of my children's Halloween experiences, I especially remember Tray when he was a senior in high school. He was late coming home from his job at Ace Hardware and knocked on the door with the words "trick or treat."  He was, of course, a helpful hardware man.

And each year I look forward to a visit from some precious trick or treaters who call me grandma.

My favorite Halloween, however, has nothing to do with trick or treat.

Or does it?

Rich Suhey had always wanted a boat.  His mother passed away in the summer of 1997. There was some extra money from the sale of her house.

And so it was that on a Friday afternoon which also happened to be Halloween, we drove to the Julington Creek Marina and picked up the Manatee.  Rich was like a little boy in a candy shop.  It took us about four hours to make it back to where the boat would be moored at Colonial Point but that was okay.  We were having so much fun!

What a treat!

We were enjoying our first experience on the water when the engine began to spurt and sputter and make a grinding noise.  And then we realized we were stuck.

Now, Rich Suhey knew all things about cars and engines. So I assumed he knew all things about boats.  Besides, we both had certificates from the Coast Guard's safe boating course.

Was this a trick???

Fortunately, a seasoned fisherman came by.

"You are caught in a crab trap."

Not to worry, he could help us.  And he did.

It's been 19 years since that experience. Sometimes I feel like the boat's propeller's looked that day as the mechanic freed it from the mangled wire of a crab trap.  Life can make me feel bogged down, stuck, a MESS.

But fortunately, I have a Mechanic who can make the mess a message.  I just have to put my faith and trust in Him.

May your life be filled with enough sunshine

to make you appreciate the shadows

Bless this Mess

They're everywhere.

Piles of leaves and branches.  Separated from the source of life, they have lost their color.  No longer pretty and in a word - messy.

Maybe you've read this little idiom - God can make a testimony out of a test  and a message out of a mess.  Or look at the first four letters in the name Messiah - same concept.

You're looking for a Pollyanna approach - right?  You want me to tell you how beautiful this is, don't you?,

Sorry, I haven't come to see that as yet.  Maybe sometimes...but not as long as there is this mess in my back yard.

You see the way I figure it; my mess can wait. The people in my life who can relieve me of the mess are busy with their "customers."  And that's the way they are feeding their families.

So what am I to do?

If I had a chainsaw...

But I don't.

It falls my lot to wait.  My words are negative.

I'm really looking for positive.

Surely it's there - somewhere.

It's a mess; there is no doubt about that.  And for days I thought - no harm, no foul.  Just ugly.

Until. . .

In September I started the process of refinancing my house.  One of the goals is to remove  and replace the worn and weathered siding in my 17-year-old dwelling.

All was going well.   Six weeks ago it got an A+ when the appraiser looked at it.

And then Matthew paid a visit.

So the bank sent a second appraiser who - according to a licensed builder contractor who knows my house well - saw something that has been an issue for 10 years.

There is absolutely no damage.  Except in the appraiser's eyes.

And now I wait - you know that's not my favorite thing to do.

See, I told you - it's a mess.So what's my point?  I have learned that some things are a cause for pause in my life.   If I know it's going to make me sad, disgusted or could be the breeding ground to get me into trouble, I try to avoid it.

Or in this case, I don't have to open the back door!

I'll let you know when I find the message in the mess!  It's just around the bend!

May your life be filled with enough sunshine

to make you appreciate the shadows

O Ye of Little Faith

These are my neighbors.  I don't know any of their names.

Thursday, October 6 - The media and elected officials told us to prepare. Matthew was coming.

Brookdale Mandarin, the Assisted Living Facility that is home to our mother, ensured us of a generator, water, and any medical help required,  With our mother's agreement, my family and I determined that Brookdale was the best place for her.

In fact, my children thought I should go and stay with her rather than in my home.

Friday, October 7 -  We watched and waited.  Newscasters told us of winds, rain, bridges. The mayor and the governor warned us. And by and by, the wind and the rain were here.

I heard a crash around 3:30 and looked out my back door to see that a couple of trees had landed on my deck.  I was not the least bit concerned.

Nightfall came, the wind and rain continued.  I never lost power. Two filing projects that  had plagued me for weeks were completed. I also finished reading one book and started another.

You might say I was quite confident at daybreak and remained that way as the sun began to fill the sky. Assessing the damage, I noted that no elves had come to remove the trees or repair the rail. Still shattered - with branches, leaves, and vines adorning the well-weathered wood   And that's in the back of my house.

The front was not that different.  Leaves, branches, and trees were on the ground.  And across Paddle Boat Lane.  There would be no leaving anytime soon.

My cell phone rang.

A nurse at Brookdale Mandarin told me that my mother had fallen during the night but that she was okay.  There was an issue at Brookdale, however.  They had no power.

Panic.

Both my brother and I telephoned and talked with mother's suite mat, Sally. They are an interesting pair. My mother's issue is hearing, and hers is sight.  Sally told us that mother was fine.

My children were not content with that information.  I learned that my son was on his way over there.

And then I heard it.

Chain saws.

And I saw it.  Smiling neighbors with rakes and garbage bags.

It was what we used to call a Kodak moment.

I wasted no time taking my leave.  I later told them why I left without helping.

So do you get why I am feeling a bit chastised this morning?

I'm  not sure my children believed that either me or my mother were going to be okay during the storm and I KNOW that I never dreamed that my exit out of my development would be passable that quickly.

And how many times have I asked myself if she would have fallen if I had been there?  Never mind the fact that the fall was very minor and that she is not hurt!

And how about the guilt I feel that I didn't help when my neighbors were clearing the way.

Hum - me - the writer who touts herself as a person of FAITH.

Did I learn my lesson?

May your life be filled with enough sunshine

to make you appreciate the shadows

"'Til the Storm passes by"

I love it when  something reminds me of a song.  It you know me very well at all, you know that happens all the time.

Like most Northeastern Floridians I am spending today watching the sky.  From my kitchen window, I see branches, leaves and moss swaying in the breeze.  Every now and then rain splashes on the walkway.  It's a dreary, but gentle sight.

Don't get me wrong.  I'm not just daydreaming.  I've done my due diligence in preparation for the storm that is on the way.  I have gas in my car, cash in my pocketbook, a thermos for coffee and my bathtub is filled with water.

Unless the Gulf stream waters push Matthew further out to sea our area will be the object of that hurricane's power.

Which brings me to the song.

It has been more than 40 years since I first heard:

"In the dark of the midnight, have I oft hid my face
 While the storm howls above me and there's no hiding place.
'Mid the crash of the thunder, Precious Lord, hear my cry
"Keep me safe til the storm passes by".

The chorus goes on

"Til the storm passes over, til the thunder sounds no more, Till the clouds roll forever from the sky; Hold me fast last me stand in the hollow of they hand...Keep me safe till the storm passes by."
("Till the storm passes by" - Mosie Lister)

HUM - did I mention that today is so dreary? Or that there's a tall oak tree in the next yard that night not withstand the winds, or am I far enough from the river so that no flood waters will effect me and how long will we be without power ?

This morning I read a devotion called "God is in the clouds".  It was written by Tracie Mills and it's a part of the Real Life Devotional Bible for Women which is published by  Proverbs 31 ministry.

Her words were related to the cloud that positioned itself over the tabernacle where the Israelites worshiped as they were wandering 40 years in the wilderness.  Talk about feeling bleak and unsure about their future. ( For more about this you can read the book of Exodus).

To paraphrase Ms Mills - Sometimes there are clouds all around us (this day the whole sky seems to be a cloud) so we think there is no sunshine but there really is....we just can't see it.

So what am I to do?

Believe God is present and He will guide me ... no matter how dark the skies are today!  That's finding sunshine (I know that sun is there some place) in spite of shadows,

Give the world a smile

Southern Gospel is one of my favorite musical genres.  I recently heard an old quartette rendition of a song called "Give the world a smile" and it made me think about the value of - a smile.

One of my regular "pamperers" was doing what she does best.  As she worked on my nails, she was singing.  She seemed happy.  I know enough about her life to know that there are many reasons that she should not be happy.  

I didn't say anything, but after a few minutes she looked up and said "It makes me feel better when I sing" and I thought  - she found her smile.

Having been where she is...I can tell you ...sometimes it's hard to find one!

However, as the saying goes - Smile and the world smiles with you - Frown, and you frown alone.

I've been thinking about smiles this week and wondering. . .

What makes you smile?

I doubt it's frogs or squirrels.

I know  - neither are particularly attractive but they have been known to make me smile. 

Dr. Keith Holland is a Jacksonville dentist who led an expedition into the depths of the St. Johns in the late 80's in search of what remained of the Maple Leaf, the Yankee cargo ship that had been torpedoed by the Confederate army near the end of the Civil War.  A celebration of the 150th anniversary of that event brought the divers to the Mandarin Museum and they have been so well-received that thy come back once a month with tales of their adventure to share with visitors.

It was on one of those visits to the museum that I met two baby squirrels that Keith was nursing.  I watched as Keith cared for them. To be honest, I had thought him to be rather gruff, but it was fun to see his part of his personality.

I was mesmerized by the care he offered those squirrels.  
And he became my friend.

Now this year - it's frogs.  The same ones that are showing up in many Mandarin yards and parks and along the roadsides in this part of Duval County  And I am happy to say that the creator of those frogs is my friend.

And as it happens, he wants to remain anonymous. He is a Mandarin resident and a member of a family that's been here since 1785.

"I just want people to smile," he said when asked why he got so involved in this project.

"And, it gives me a smile," he continued.

For several months now, the frogs have been available "FOR SALE" at the Mandarin Museum and Historical Society on Saturdays.

I was there on a weekday as a part of my responsibilities as the Volunteer Coordinator.  A woman came to the door and wanted a frog.

I politely said, "you need to come when the Museum is open." Her face made me think of a child who hears no more ice cream or candy.  Of course, I welcomed her into the Museum and took her money.  

Money - now there's something that is making the Museum's Board of Directors happy.  The frogman doesn't want one penny of the money.  

It all goes to the museum.  What a great fundraiser!

Florida Times Union columnist, Mark Woods, was at the Museum this week and wrote a story about this phenomenon that has invaded Mandarin. Channel Four sent a reporter to do a story.  People are curious .

Do frogs have anything to do with the purpose of the Museum?  Well, no.

But curious people come for a frog and have the opportunity to learn so much about Mandarin's history - from Harriett Beecher Stowe to that ship that lies on the bottom of the river near the museum - - to the only remaining one-room schoolhouse in Duval County - not to mention enjoy a great park.

And I happen to know that most Saturdays from 9 AM - 4 PM one will most likely find the Frogman - smiling.

I don't really like squirrels or frogs.

I do like smiles and the people that make that happen.  You know what they say "you're never fully dressed without one."

"I'd do it all again"

"I figured out a way I'm like you," my son, Tray, told me.

"I'm a "rememberer."

Yep - that's right.  Tray remembers everything, just like his mama.

That's not a surprise to you, is it?  I not only remember, but I am also always happy to share every detail of the memory.

That has been evident this week as I have shared memories of my daddy who died on this date in 2009.

Another thing about me (that you already know) is that one of the ways I deal with emotion is through taking my thoughts and putting them into words and then on a computer screen, .etc. etc. etc.

And so it is that this week I have been remembering and talking about those memories.

Reviewing scrapbooks and photo album has been a great experience for me.

In 1999 my parents asked for my help in putting their story together so that their children and those who come behind us have the knowledge of who they were. The title of the project is "From the Roots, the Tree Blossoms."   By this time there are more than fifty of us (children, marriages, grandchildren and their mates and great grandchildren plus the ones who came to us by way of second marriages).  The book included stories and events including a statement daddy made at their 50th wedding anniversary.

"I would like for these words to be on my marker when I die," he said.

"I'd do it all again."

Daddy died just a month after their 67th wedding anniversary.

That afternoon as he lay dying, the Rev. Kevin Pound, my parents' minister, stood by daddy's bedside and personalized the 23rd Psalm as he prayed.  He said things like "We know you are Earl's shepherd, that you have prepared a table for Earl and that Earl with dwell with you in the house of the Lord forever."

That touched our mother. She forgot what daddy wanted to have on his marker.  She had these words engraved..."Dwelling in the House of the Lord forever".

Please don't misunderstand me.  It was mother's privilege to make that choice.

However, I believe his words are a  precious complement (to our mother - to us - and our children), but more than that I think what a blessing he was to us.  He always had a peppermint in his pocket, a song when we were down, and a dollar when we needed it.  He loved to be our "sugar daddy."

I think my brother, Lester's words sum it all up best:

"I always knew he loved reminding me that he had done something for me. He really was the biblical example of what God the Father is to us."

As one of the branches - I can say without reservation --

I'm glad he did it the FIRST time.

May your life be filled with enough sunshine

to make you appreciate the shadows

Mom's worried

This is what's left of my silver service.  Over the years I've had many more pieces.  Some came from my Grandma Nesmith, some from my paternal grandmother who we called Grandma Lonnie and some from my mother.

If my children had visited me on a recent afternoon they would have said "Mom's worried."   It was a sure sign when they were growing up. Cleaning the silver meant that something was amiss in their mother's world.

However, that day I  cleaned the silver because it was dirty and sadly the years have taken such a toll that even the greatest amount of Wright's silver polish and elbow grease did hardly anything.  One reason could be that I no longer use the old-fashioned methods but now put the silver into a premade liquid that works - sort of.

Earlier that week I was having a conversation with my mother about the difficulties of change even thought we hopefully grow through it.

I reminded her of some of the times that I was in great turmoil and felt like my prayers were bouncing off the ceiling.

Many years ago when my marriage to Ray Parker was first showing signs of trouble, I spent what seems to have been a night that lasted 24 hours struggling with the unrest and pain that I was feeling. My friend, Eileen Felten, had counseled me.  I wasn't sure that anything she said might work.

However I kept praying  and it was as if an angel came and sat on my bed and told me that if I didn't love Ray, God loved him and He would love him through me. Later that year our first child was born and by the end of 1977 we had two more bundles of joy.

Many people know of the difficult delivery and first months of our son, Tray's life and how once again an angel came and told me that it was okay to love my baby. If God took him, he would give me the strength to bear that sorrow.

I honestly believe those times were growth times.  But I reminded my mother that I'm still waiting for an angel's visit regarding the loss of Rich Suhey and that's been almost 18 years ago.

There have been other trying times - and through those times, I know that God has been with me.

For a current example -

I learned that I was no longer needed on a temporary assignment that I really liked.Not to mention the fact that I like that deposit showing up in my bank account each week.  While I was shocked - I am not undone.

And although I cleaned the silver that afternoon I am not worried.

I truly believe that Romans 8:28 applies to me!  Which is why I can end this blog with the image that hangs by my desk.

No angels needed - this time :)

May your life be filled with enough sunshine

to make you appreciate the shadows

Forgiveness means Freedom

I've been on both sides.

I've been hurt but I have also been the culprit for someone else's pain.

There's no way in the world for me to count the number of times I have had to say "I'm sorry".  Usually (but not always) it's because my mouth got ahead of my brain and I said something spiteful, 

There have of course been things I have done that I was sorry for.  However, one thing my mother taught me is that I don't have to hang out all my dirty wash so if you think I'm about to give you some expose of my life...you might as well stop reading.

I have also been hurt, felt betrayed, heard words that were biting and truth be told made me want to retaliate.  

There have been circumstances where I ended up on the losing end of what should have been a winning situation  Once I lost a job because someone else wanted the position. Once I was told I had betrayed someone and that was  not only not true, it was mean and hurtful that anyone would have thought I was mean and hurtful.

Like the rest of you, I could go on and on.

However, I heard a statement recently that touched my heart.

I was watching a Hallmark movie.  I had missed the first hour, but apparently a young man had lost his parents in some sort of brutal way.  He was bitter and had chosen many wrong paths.  He was the sole heir to a fortune.  But the benefactor, his grandmother who loved him dearly, had recognized his worth and set up a plan to help him grow up before he could have the funds.

One of his mentors in the process spent time with him encouraging him to put the past behind him.  To "forgive" the persons who took his parents lives and to see if he could find freedom in the forgiving.

I had never thought of that before.  And yet it makes sense.  If we hang on to the hurt, it can do nothing be harm us...in our relationship with others and especially in our relationship with God

And why should we give the other person the satisfaction....Ooopsss -that doesn't sound like letting it go, does it?

Tell me why

I love words - you already know that - but did you also know there are some words I just don't like.

Take for instance a little three letter word that means - for what reason or purpose."

The word is WHY


After some insect bites recently I was dealing with swollen feet and blisters. It took three days and three different medical professionals before there was a diagnosis and a solution.

And I kept saying - why is this so difficult?.

I learned of an elderly woman who needed help with a pin number in a  bank and it took three different people before someone said "I'll do it for you".

And I wondered why did it take them so long to help?

In my continuing responsibility of the care of my mother sometimes the red tape to get to a solution takes forever....

I know I've sent exactly what they need - so it gets more and more difficult and I find myself asking "WHY?"

I was brought up to expect an answer -  our parents often told us that in song

"Tell me why the stars do shine; tell me why the ivy twines;
 Tell me why the ocean's blue and I will tell you just why I love you".

The answer being

"Because God made the starts to shine, Because God made the ivy twine
 Because God made the ocean blue because God made you that's why I love you"

That's all well and good...except sometimes - the whys are not that easy to accept...

The atrocities that we are being bombarded with; disappointment when a job falls through or the dreaded breakup of a relationship.  You can fill in your own blank.

And when I don't know why - do I just accept it?

In his account of "The Charge of the Light Brigade" Alfred Lord Tennyson seems to have a rather fatalistic view:

Theirs not to make reply,     Theirs not to reason why,     

Theirs but to do and die. 

Should we fall in line with that viewpoint?

Taking the positive track I would prefer to follow Gospel songster, Ira Stanphill's train of thought:  

 "We'll  talk it over in the bye and bye; We'll l talk it over, my Lord and I .I'll ask the reasons - He'll tell me why,When we talk it over in the bye".

I think that must be what John means when he says that God will wipe away our tears (Revelation 21:4a).

So I guess the true answer to the word WHY is the word WAIT.

I'm not believing I just typed the word WAIT.

If I'm not that crazy about why how do you think I feel about WAIT.

May your life be filled with enough sunshine

to make you appreciate the shadows

But I prayed...

The summer of 2009 is a significant time in my memory bank.  Sometime that Spring, our daddy had come to the realization that he was nearing the end of his journey on earth.  That sweet attitude was accompanied by a relaxed spirit and willingness to let us love on him and accept the love he had to give us.

We often shared a cup of coffee in the late afternoon and enjoyed chatting - about everything from sports to politics to our faith and what I was hearing from my children?

Here's a conversation I remember all too well.

Six year old Allie was in her third year of ITP (a rare auto immune disorder that affects her platelets- her blood’s ability to clot properly.)  My bright and bubbling second grandchild is the fourth of my parents great grands.   

"I've been praying for Allie," daddy began.  "And I just can't understand why the Lord hasn't healed her".

I thought his sentiments were very sweet.  However, I knew that he knew - as I do - that just because we pray about something doesn't mean it will happen.  That doesn't mean we don't pray about it anyway.

This week I am especially mindful of a time that I kept praying - even when I didn't feel like my prayers were being answered.

My third child, Raymond Lee Parker, III was born on August 10, 1977.  The delivery experience of his older sisters Becca and Renee had been quick.  I even conversed with the doctor as Renee made her entrance.  This one was different - about 14 hours different.  And it would required a Cesarean Section.  His heart rate had decreased; the cord was wrapped around his neck.  

I was heavily sedated.  I didn't have a clue what was happening.

I just remember his dad telling me we had a little boy, he was okay but they needed to "watch him closely" so they had taken him to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit in another part of the hospital.  The next hours and days were frightening to say the least.  I developed an infection.  I couldn't go into the NICU.  I knew I had a little boy, but I felt so disconnected.

I was trying to pray but it seemed as if my prayers were bouncing off the ceiling.

After what seemed like endless hours...it was as if an angel came - and I heard "it's okay to love him, if I take him, I'll give you the strength to bear it".

That was 39 years ago.  I'm still loving him.. and I might add, I am still praying for him and thanking God for the great blessing my third child has been to me.

So I know that God answers prayer.

And back to my dad's question -  Allie still deals with low platelets.

Is God not answering our prayer?

And why not?

Should we stop praying?

I don't think so.  Because what I believe to be significant in this process of "praying" is that we are taking life out of our hands - and trusting.  

Sometimes the answer is yes, when the answer is no, God gives us grace to accept it.

I didn't say that this is easy!

May your life be filled with enough sunshine

to make you appreciate the shadows

He wore khaki and she wore a long white dress

He was a native of Jacksonville, a Landon High School graduate and a soldier.  She was also a Landon High School graduate (in fact had graduated just a few months before), a girl born in South Carolina who had lived in Jacksonville since she was a child.  It was war time - just a little more than seven months into World War II.  He was stationed in Louisiana; made sergeant and wrote her a letter.

            "I am going to make enough money...we can get married", he said.

There was a flurry of activity and Glendale Community Church canceled the midweek prayer meeting.  She had made her graduation dress with the idea that it might be a good wedding gown.  She had the dress, he thought they would have enough money and they knew they were going to be happy.

That was 74 years ago TODAY - August 5, 1942.
Just a few weeks after their 67th anniversary, daddy went to Heaven.  It was a wonderful yet sad experience as we stood by the bedside as he took his last breath.
      My siblings, our children and grandchildren, our aunts and uncles and cousins - plus a myriad of friends - value my parents marriage greatly. I valued it so much that I chose to marry Ray Parker on mother and daddy's 25th wedding anniversary.  That marriage may not have survived - but the children who came from it continue to be a blessing to me.

Seven years ago as they marked their 67th anniversary we knew that daddy's time with us was short. We were all watching as mother and the Hospice staff cared for him. I was keeping a journal that I later put together and often share with those who are in similar experiences.  One of the postings. written on August 5, 2009  is "That word is LOVE".  It was based on this Sophocles quote:   "One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life. That word is LOVE."  
     There was a weight and pain.  And there was much love!
     Our parents' love has been the underlying strength in all of our lives for many years. We consider it to be a rich and lasting heritage and that we are truly blessed.
     And all of us appreciate the hot summer August 5th in 1942 when he wore khaki and she wore a long white dress,

May your life be filled with enough sunshine

to make you appreciate the shadows

'fraidy Cat

I probably have some of the same fears that most people do....snakes, wasps, things that go bump in the night. . .escalators.

What you are not afraid of an escalator?

I vaguely remember a fall down some stairs when I was a very young child.  It seems like there was a tricycle involved.  I cannot remember the details.

I just know that for as long as I can remember I have been very unsure of myself when coming down steps.

And you let those steps be electronically operated - real, sincere FEAR!

My family and friends have seen me walk a long way in search of stairs  - to avoid an escalator.

So - I recently was enjoying grandchild #5 (my little effervescent) at the Avenue's Mall.  We had parked on the second level, visited two of her selected stores and were looking for another when I saw it - on the lower level so we walked down the steps.

I told her I don't like escalators.

There were two more places she wanted to go - one back on the second level and the other - we were not sure.

So I suggested that we go into Penney's and take the elevator up.  I'll never forget her words as the door opened and she saw a caution sign on the floor - loose tile.

"Grandma I'm afraid of an elevator".

I assured her it was safe and she need not be afraid.

We were soon back in the mall and still looking for that one more place when I spotted it -- DOWN STAIRS

Okay, we would just walk to the stairs and walk back.

Except I had just told her not to be afraid.

You guessed it - that's what she said to me.

"Come on, Grandma, you don't need to be afraid.  It will be all right... I'll help you:'

Only once we got there, little Miss Effervescent was on the escalator - on her way down  and grandma "FROZE".

Fortunately a nice young man (and what seemed to be a huge crowd of onlookers) saw my angst.

He was very helpful and took my arm as we made our descent.

So now my granddaughter and I have a plan.

She's going to work on elevators - and me -- oh help - I'm going to master the escalator

"When I get really afraid I come to you (God) in trust" (Psalm  56:3 The Message)

May your life be filled with enough sunshine

to make you appreciate the shadows!