Mom's worried

This is what's left of my silver service.  Over the years I've had many more pieces.  Some came from my Grandma Nesmith, some from my paternal grandmother who we called Grandma Lonnie and some from my mother.

If my children had visited me on a recent afternoon they would have said "Mom's worried."   It was a sure sign when they were growing up. Cleaning the silver meant that something was amiss in their mother's world.

However, that day I  cleaned the silver because it was dirty and sadly the years have taken such a toll that even the greatest amount of Wright's silver polish and elbow grease did hardly anything.  One reason could be that I no longer use the old-fashioned methods but now put the silver into a premade liquid that works - sort of.

Earlier that week I was having a conversation with my mother about the difficulties of change even thought we hopefully grow through it.

I reminded her of some of the times that I was in great turmoil and felt like my prayers were bouncing off the ceiling.

Many years ago when my marriage to Ray Parker was first showing signs of trouble, I spent what seems to have been a night that lasted 24 hours struggling with the unrest and pain that I was feeling. My friend, Eileen Felten, had counseled me.  I wasn't sure that anything she said might work.

However I kept praying  and it was as if an angel came and sat on my bed and told me that if I didn't love Ray, God loved him and He would love him through me. Later that year our first child was born and by the end of 1977 we had two more bundles of joy.

Many people know of the difficult delivery and first months of our son, Tray's life and how once again an angel came and told me that it was okay to love my baby. If God took him, he would give me the strength to bear that sorrow.

I honestly believe those times were growth times.  But I reminded my mother that I'm still waiting for an angel's visit regarding the loss of Rich Suhey and that's been almost 18 years ago.

There have been other trying times - and through those times, I know that God has been with me.

For a current example -

I learned that I was no longer needed on a temporary assignment that I really liked.Not to mention the fact that I like that deposit showing up in my bank account each week.  While I was shocked - I am not undone.

And although I cleaned the silver that afternoon I am not worried.

I truly believe that Romans 8:28 applies to me!  Which is why I can end this blog with the image that hangs by my desk.

No angels needed - this time :)

May your life be filled with enough sunshine

to make you appreciate the shadows