But I don't have a sofa

It is the last day of 2012.

For me, it has been one of my best years ever.

A year ago, my friend Debbie were visiting on New Year's Eve.  We talked about what we hoped 2012 would bring.

She wanted a regular dance partner. 

I wasn't sure what I wanted.  I had wanted to be published for many years and I knew that was going to happen in 2012. I might like to travel and I wondered what I would do for a job when the Episcopal Diocese of Florida's annual convention was over as it would be in January.

I wanted my children to have joy and success and I wanted my mother to be comfortable in my home as small but significant changes continued to be a part of who she is.

Did I want a regular dance partner?

I didn't know.

I remember that I said it might be nice to have someone to date, but that I really couldn't get involved with anyone.  Between my mother and finishing the writing project, I didn't really think I had time.

Besides my living room has four chairs - no sofa...if you date someone shouldn't you have a sofa?

A little lame, right?

That was a year ago today..

This past Saturday night Debbie and I were together again - just before she went "dancing" with Jack Edwards and I came home to enjoy some time on a small sofa  that is now a  part of the decor in my home office.  Earlier in the day I had rearranged the furniture in my living room to get it ready for  another sofa that's on it's way to my home.

And of course, I didn't come home alone.

"Delight yourself also in the Lord and He shall give you the desires of your heart," (Psalm 37:4).

...Even those you think you do not have!

Words on a page

Everybody has a story.

And most people like to share it.

I have been called a "nosy so-in so".  (Note:  These words are offered from a heart full of love.  I am not in the least bit offended).

Actually I am not nosey.  I am curious.  No wait - I am interested!

And when I hear the story I love to share it. 

My best means of doing that is with words on a page.

In 2010 I was presented with a wonderful opportunity.

"My name is John Compton".

I listened to to my voice mail.  I listened to it again.  What was he saying? 

"I am working with the Duval County Medical Society to publish a book about the history of the DCMS and I would like to talk with you about being one of the writers".

I knew about the Medical Society.  My mother had done some work on their directory when our friend, John Nill, was in the publishing business.  Our family friend, Dr. O.E. Harrell, had been instrumental in that organization many years ago.  And  my friends Marigrace Doran and Leora Legacy  worked for DCMS. 

"Was I interested?"

Was he kidding?

And so it was that after being a nosy, curious, interested person - who talked with more than 75 physicians or practice administrators, my words are on a page.  It's a nice coffee table book that can be found in doctor's offices and at some local bookstores and I've heard there's a possibility that it's coming to the Barnes and Noble on-line bookstore.  I don't think those details have been finalized.

The best thing I know about all of that is that it fulfilled one of my lifelong dreams.  I am published.  Leora wrote the history and I wrote 75 of the 100 physicians/practices that are included and worked with Marigrace who worked on graphics, layout and photographs.  Our photos and bio are on the inside flap (along with another writer, Kara Pound).

However, my friend Deborah Hansen has done what I really want to do. 

She has done what poet William Wadsworth exhorted  when he said "Fill your paper with breathings of your heart."

Deb's first book Broken Strings: Wisdom for Divorced and Separated Families, was published in  2007.  She took her experiences as a single mother and shared them as a handbook for the many other parents who find themselves "going this parenting route - alone".  In 2010 Deborah accepted the challenge of going 21 days without complaining.  It took her 125 days but she did it!

For my birthday this year, Deb gave me an empty journal.  These words in her handwriting are on the inside flap  "Why do writers write?  Because it isn't there." (Thomas Berger). 

That's why we put our words on a page - because in our minds - no one else has put them there. 

Like Deb, I have been writing since I was a child - poetry, essays, a couple short stories, a column on Jacksonville.com. and now this blog. 

But still a dream - of being published...I mean putting the breathing of my heart on paper...So watch out world.  More of my words are going to be on a page.

Is that Jesus?

It is one of my most precious memories.

 

I have always been very involved in the church.  I became a Christian as a first grader and grew up loving to sing and share as a part of my worship experience.  I loved the life God had planned for me as a pastor's wife. 

 

Although I was not raised in a church where the worship was liturgical, I have always appreciated that kind of worship. I love the procession of the choir, crosses, banners, lay Eucharistic ministers who will assist at the rail during communion  and the clergy. I love the responsive position of worshiping. When the scripture is read, I love to hear "the word of the Lord to which the congregation responds "Thanks be to God". I love the corporate prayers of the people that precedes the prayer of confession and I really appreciate it when the celebrant instructs the people to greet one another with a message of God's peace.

In 1981 I lived in Louisville, Kentucky with my minister husband and our three children.  I'm still not sure how I did this but I convinced him that we should go to a midnight worship service at Christ Cathedral in downtown Louisville.  In retrospect, I feel like he was most agreeable, although this was really out of his comfort zone. 

 

We sat in the back of the beautiful cathedral and I watched as our children who were then 10, 7 and 4, took it all in.  As in any service like this, the Bishop was the last to come in and he sat at the front in the Bishop's Chair.  Because I am now an Episcopalian, it all makes sense to me.  Back then it was strange and unique but very beautiful.

 

I then heard a little familiar voice - "Mommy," the voice was meek.  Those children knew about behaving in church. 

 

I looked down the row and  saw my four-year-old leaning forward.
 

"Is that Jesus?"  He was pointing to the Bishop.

 

I told him no but that the man was going to tell us about Jesus which although I don't remember the sermon, I am sure he did - as he shared the message of Hope, Peace, Joy and Love with us that night - a night that remains one of my dearest Christmas memories.

 

Why?  Because the best gift Ray Parker and I gave our  children is the gift of faith! Oh, they had to make the decision to accept that gift (which is from God, through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ).  But we presented them with opportunities to hear and more than that to see how the hope, peace, joy and love of the Christ child could change their lives and the lives of others!

 

Traditions

That's the way we have always done it!  You might say our family is very tradition-oriented.  Particularly when it comes to Christmas.

Both of my parents brought traditions to our family.  Mother remembers "stockings" and daddy remembered that his parents (along with his aunt and uncle) waited until Christmas Eve to purchase presents.  That's when everything was marked down and his daddy was always one for a bargain.  We always had a stocking and daddy loved the hustle and bustle of shopping on Christmas Eve.

I remember that our daddy preferred cheese and crackers and Coca-cola to cookies and hot chocolate so that's what we left for Santa (the first year after daddy had died, I took Cheezits and scattered them on his grave) and that we always had some presents on a chair and some presents were wrapped. 

I carried that last tradition into my family - and one of my favorite memories is the year that they thought they should be my Santa Claus and I awakened to a chair filled with gifts and notes. 

And now my children are all parents and have their own traditions.  Whether it is leaving a little reindeer food near their front door; having close friends in for Christmas breakfast, or a visit from Santa Claus who is also their granddaddy (one of these days some of those England kids are going to figure this one out), they all have their own traditions.  And for the grandchildren here - the tradition is that sometime on Christmas morning, grandma and great gran'ma come to see their gifts.

The most important tradition is something that we all share.  We all worship on Christmas Eve - maybe to different churches - but we all remember what Christmas is about.

This picture is from a live Nativity scene at
Spring Glen Methodist Church (copied from
their Facebook page).

Spring Glen Methodist is an important place to our family because our great-grandfather, John Huffingham deeded some of his land for a school and church - the very land where Spring Glen continues to stand as a beacon for that community.  It was at Spring Glen that my parents met in about 1929.  And when my children were growing up, we often walked up to the corner and enjoyed the live Nativity there

It was truly one of our traditions.  I drove by Spring Glen last night and was filled with a sense of gratitude for that church and what it has meant in our lives.

Christmas traditions are great - decorations, Christmas cookies, lights, parties - but the best part of Christmas - the one I am more grateful that my children honor - is the fact that it is about the birth of Jesus Christ.

It was also a tradition (when I was a little girl) for me (with my cousins Ellie and Jimmy) to stand in front of our Nesmith family and recite the first 20 verses of Luke 2.  I will not bore you with that...even though I think I could - almost word for word.  Just another family tradition that I hold very dear.

You will not be surprised which verses are my favorite .... "And they came with ^ahaste, and found Mary, and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger. And when they had seen it, they made known abroad the saying which was told them concerning this child," Luke 2:16,17. 

I do love a good story and I love to Tell It!

We believe!

This house believes in Santa.

Well - at least I believe in what Santa represents. After all, it is at this time of the year that we remember the incredible birth of the Christ child who came to offer us hope and peace when we placed our faith in Him all of which combine to give us joy.  This because God so loved the world.

It was our first Christmas as a "single mom and three kids".  I don't think I believed in Santa Claus that year which is now 30 years ago.

We had been welcomed into my parents' home  earlier that year and the four of us were adjusting.  While it was very difficult, we were learning to experience the love, care and support of  our extended family.

From her earliest years, my second child, Renee, has been a little "prayer warrior". When she was about five, she was going to be in a pageant of some sort and she needed a "fancy" dress.  We were in the "looking" stage when someone gave her some hand-me-downs.  I will never forget her running into the room where I was, saying "I found it; I found it; I found the answer to my prayer".  Sure enough it was a pretty little yellow dress with some lace on it.  It would work.

By this time, Renee had passed her eighth birthday.  Tray was five.  They were in the same Sunday School class at Glendale Community Church, the church I had grown up in and where many dear family members and friends were so supportive of me and my children in this new found position.

Apparently when "prayer request" time came, Renee announced that she and Tray were "praying" that they might get bicycles for Christmas.

They had not shared that prayer request with their mother.  The day before Christmas "Aunt" Anna Jean and "Uncle" Bill Kindred  (you know in the South we call everyone "aunt" and "uncle") came for a visit.  I believe they were the teachers in that Sunday School class.  If not, they certainly must have known someone who heard Renee's prayer request.  They opened the trunk of their car and I saw - "two shiny bicycles".

Christmas morning arrived and Renee could once more say - "I found it, I found it, I found the answer to my prayer".  

There have been other things our family has prayed for that we didn't find. We have had a wonderful live, however.  Thirty years later, three additions - the mates that God chose for each of my bundles of joy - have added to the fun.  Not to mention those seven special blessings who call me grandma.  Our lives are rich and full.

However - something else that my children (and my family and friends) have long prayed for is that I would "find" someone special to share my life with.

Listen - can you hear Renee?  "I've found it, I've found it - I've found that answer to our prayer!"

Yep - I'd say we believe!


"For my God shall supply all your needs, according to His riches in Christ Jesus", Philippians 4:19.

'Did you know???

I love Christmas. 

If you don't believe me -

Come to my house for a visit.  You can take a look at my closet and watch what I wear every day from November 30 through Christmas Day.  You will see that my house is "fully involved" in Christmas from an Advent wreathe to a little village with a train to 7 choir children (Coca Cola bottles with Styrofoam heads that my mother and I made a couple of years ago).

And you will hear Christmas music.

I love Christmas music.

I have always loved Christmas caroling and being in Christmas programs and cantatas.  I loved it when my children were in various programs and I was absolutely thrilled when I went to see my three Nazarene grandchildren in a program and watched their mother being their director.

Their mother is my first born - Rebecca. 

Becca had been born just before Christmas in 1971 so the song The Best Gift by Barbra Streisand has always seemed like the perfect song for the two of us. For that year, she truly was my best gift

I remember when she learned a question for her first Christmas program when she was in Kindergarten.

"Who was born on Christmas Day?"

I remember when she was in the 6th grade and didn't really want to listen to the Christmas sermon.  When I told her to pay attention, she gave me a typical preacher's kid's answer..."I've already heard that story."

A few years later Becca learned a piece for the piano called A Christmas Rhapsody.  I can still see her sitting at a piano at Glendale Community Church playing that.  My memory is helped by the fact that I have a video of it and recently Becca sat down at the piano in her home and once more played that beautiful arrangement that includes many Christmas carols.

Lots of memories, many include music...which brings me to the title of this blog - my favorite Christmas song - Mary did you know?  And why is it my favorite.  Because I cannot imagine knowing something as incredible as what Mary knew; doing something as incredible as what Mary did - and not telling anyone.

Mary kept all these things - even after the shepherds came and worshipped - in her heart! 

From a mother's viewpoint...I could never keep that kind of knowledge and not share it. You did read all the things I just told you about Becca didn't you?

The best Christmas PRESENTS ever!

"What do you want for Christmas?"

He was eight years old.  Truly one of the loves of my life - Tray - my third child, my only son, and my baby.

I told him I thought a waffle iron would be a good idea.

And that I decided that wasn't a very practical idea.

But I didn't tell Tray.

Weeks later as we enjoyed a Saturday night supper, Tray announced to his sisters that he knew what mom wanted for Christmas.  She wanted a waffle iron.

"I actually decided that I didn't want that", was my response.

I can still hear him - "we have a problem", he said as he left the table. 

I could see his bedroom from where I was sitting and I watched as he slowly knelt down and pulled a 1949 "vintage" waffle iron from under the bed. 

He had been to a yard sale next door.  The waffle iron cost $4.  He had $2 so he raked leaves for the extra money.

I laughed and cried.  Remember - "Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion".

And I cleaned it up and we used it.

He grew up and went to college. When he was a sophomore he remembered that one thing I wanted when my children were growing up was a train. What a joy for me to open my present that Christmas and how much I enjoy it all these years later (15).

.  

And then he got married and moved away.  They came home for Christmas and we enjoyed the annual Huffingham family gathering.  As the fun and merriment began to die down, Tray announced that there was one more present.

There were four small  packages.  My mother got one; my daughter, Becca, got one; my sister, Cindy got one - and there was one for me.

"Open them at the same time," he told us.

They were children's alphabet blocks.  Mine was a Y - Becca's was a B and so was Cindy's and my mother had an A.

If I laughed and cried over that waffle iron or the train - how do you think I responded when I realized that the words spelled BABY.  Their first child was due the next summer.

I've had other special and wonderful gifts but I think these must be among the very best.

'Course I haven't opened this year's yet!