His Plan is Better

 I read the email with joy. 

My friend, Beth, was going to be ordained to the Diaconate.

She had asked that I be one of the chalice bearers at her ordination.

I was honored to be a part of this very special night in my friend's life.

If being a part of the service was not enough, the seat I had during the service was the icing on the cake.  

I watched as Beth's parents listened with pride to each part of the service.  I listened as they both took part in the liturgy by reading first the Old Testament and then the New Testament portions of Scripture. I could see the love that Beth's daughters and her husband had for her.  It was wonderful.

 I wanted to be a deacon once.  Actually, before that, I wanted to be a priest. And before that, I wanted to be a minister's wife.

 And I am none of the above.

Well, I was a  minister's wife but that's been forty years ago. Truth be told I've spent way too much time bemoaning the fact that what I thought to be God's call on my life only lasted 15 years.  It took the death of the minister to make me come to grips with the fact that my life has turned out so much better and I have had so many wonderful opportunities to serve the Lord.  While I was waiting for one more apology for what he had done to "ruin" my life, I should have been writing him a thank you note for what he did to make it better.

However, that's my story and this is about Beth (who has her own story - but it's not my place to share it).

In the 15 years that I have known Beth, I have seen the way she's listened . . .  and heard God's voice (through her own personal study of Scripture and from people and circumstances in her life).  Last Thursday night was just the beginning.

And the one truth that Beth and I share is that we agree

(Artwork by Allie Blain)

Romans 8:28 - which is to say - His Plan is BEST!

                                          May your life have enough sunshine 

                                          to make you appreciate the shadows

Not human "doings"

 This is how my life looks these days.

Truth be told, it has not been an easy change for me.

I've spent three or four days recently trying to figure out why I felt uneasy.   

Yes, there's one big issue that looms over me.  My mother is almost 99 years old.  Life is not the same.  In many ways, I grieve her loss even though she is still alive.  The  Pandemic took its toll on her...and on me, since I've been her main visitor...and she's always been so much a people person.  

I've had to learn that I cannot be consumed with her.  That's not been easy.

Other than that.  My children are well.  One grandchild is having an experience that makes her grandmother a bit jealous.  She's student teaching in Vienna. That's the one place I'd love to visit.

I have a part-time job that I enjoy.  I have dear friends who I spend time with regularly.  My health is good.  What in the world is wrong with me? 

Back to my mother -- she's always been the one who helped me figure out what was wrong with me.  

One of her favorite Paula stories has always been of the day that I slammed the vacuum cleaner down in anger and sobs and she asked me "What in the world is wrong with you? "  My response  "You're the mother you are supposed to know".

I was sharing my current angst with my friend Deborah  

I said, "no one needs anything".  Her response: "Right.  For years there's been someone -- someplace that you were supposed to be helping".  

Then she said something that was profound.  She thought I had heard it before but it was new to me

"We are not called Human DOINGS.  We are called Human --- yes - BEINGS".

Hum

That made me respond with a Bible verse. . . 

"Be still and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10)

. . . And remember a time more than 50 years ago when I had been having a similar experience -- I was a freshman in college -- and everything things seemed out of whack.  My boyfriend and I went to church -- and in the stillness of that service, I realized what I needed - 

I needed to BE STILL

And now I need to learn the very first word of that verse

I need to learn to BE!

May your life have enough sunshine

to make you  appreciate the shadows

PS I have found a couple of small opportunities to reach out to others but I'm endeavoring  - really endeavoring -- to just BE.

 

Happy Birthday, Bert

 The Mandarin Volunteer Fire Department

     "If I hadn't gone to work for Bellsouth, I would have been a fireman", said former Mandarin resident, Bert Wasmund.

     "My family lived on the corner of Loretta and Mina.  My dad, Don, who worked at the shipyards until his death at age 60, was a volunteer fireman.  We could get to what was then the fire station at the north entrance to Mandarin Road on State Road 13 in about 4 minutes", he continued.

     Bert said he enjoyed the camaraderie of the other fire fighters as well as the rush of adrenaline as they hurried to a call.  This was before consolidation.  Many areas of Jacksonville and Duval County had volunteer fire departments.  "It was just what people did", said Bert.

     He remembered his most frightening fire.  That was when the Dutton Salvage Company on Philips Highway burned.  There were a lot of paint cans and old military equipment at the huge "junk yard".  

     "Volunteer Firemen from throughout Duval County came to fight the blaze", he said.  "Fortunately, the only loss was what the Salvage company lost financially and there's always more junk", he continued.

     Bert remembered a 1950 Dodge Power Wagon that was their fire truck.  "It was four-wheel drive, carried 450 gallons of water and was equipped with a front mount pump.  There was a ladder rack on the top with a couple of extension ladders and the tools of the trade included."

     "The original fire house had a second story but was not built out", he said.  "We would go up there and practice carrying someone down a ladder."

     When it was time to build the current fire station, Bert was on hand to help.  It was a volunteer effort.

      He helped dig the foundations, set the concrete blocks and carried the five gallons of concrete to the men who were working on the scaffold.  When it was complete, it had three bays, a small office, bunk beds, a few chairs and a television set.  And there was a new 1958 LaFrance fire truck.  Later a tanker from Camp Blanding was added.

     Bert counts his experience as a volunteer fireman among his greatest memories.  

	The button from Bert's Fireman's hat

 He moved from Mandarin in the early sixties.  I met him in about 2004 through Kiwanis.  I learned that his mother, Miss Winnie, had been the nursery worker at the Episcopal Church of Our Saviour for many years.  Sometime later I learned through a mutual Bellsouth connection that he had been one of our Mandarin's  Volunteer Firemen.  

      As we talked, I watched as Bert's eyes light up as he talked about his childhood friends, Cary and Bill Morrow, James Folds and Joe Walsh.  His recollections made me want to know more about some of our Mandarin "oldies".

Not a Christmas letter

 "Does anyone send Christmas letters anymore?"

My brother, Lester, and I were remembering when people sent long detailed recaps of their year.  

Christmas letters have been replaced with social networking.  Most of us stay in contact with friends all year round so we don't need to send family news.

However, my laptop beckons me.  Except my plan for January 1 was to put away Christmas.

What to do?  I set the timer in my kitchen.  One hour putting Christmas away; one hour at the computer.

This is not a Christmas letter.  It's just me exercising my deep-seated desire to put my thoughts on a screen just in case someone wants to read them.

I have often said that I would love to live in a small town and get to know its people and write their stories.

My part-time position as the Volunteer Coordinator at the Mandarin Museum has provided me that opportunity.   

I've talked with several long-time Mandarinites.  Often one interview leads to another.  Bert Wasmund who had been a volunteer fireman in Mandarin years ago  suggested his best friend growing up who reluctantly agreed to the interview.  This man  said he really didn't have much to say.  I was mesmerized.  

 A year later that man and I are each other's best friend.

My children, my siblings and our mother are all well.  On December 18 we remembered what would have been daddy's 100th birthday.  He was a wonderful patriarch of our family.  Mother will be 99 in March.

In mid-summer, my children's dad, Ray Parker, passed away.  A strange as this seems a heavyweight of disappointment was lifted.  I really didn't realize that I was still carrying the hurt I experienced almost 40 years ago when our marriage ended.  I have appreciated the fact that our children continue to be thankful for the love, care, and spiritual guidance that our family was offered all those years ago.

I recently have thought that I should have chosen Philippians 3:13 for my special verse in 2021. "  But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind . . ."

I actually had some counseling that helped me get to the place where I really did leave all the baggage "at the foot of the cross" as a friend often says.

While I so enjoyed the women's Bible study that I have facilitated since 2016, I knew it was time to give that a rest.  I hope instead to do some one-on-one discipleship.  We'll see how that materializes.

One of the best things that happened in my family this past year (and yet one of the most difficult at the same time) was that Renee and Wally have moved to Nashville.  I'm so happy that she has an opportunity to serve in the pre-school ministry in a large church there.  'Tampa was just so much closer.

I said I should have chosen Philippians 3:13  as my verse in 2021.  Of course, I didn't know what lay ahead a year ago.  Neither do I know what is ahead in 2022.  However, I can say that the next part of that portion of scripture will work well for me  

"I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

I'm excited about what that might mean in my life. I hope it means more words on a page - and I think my friend can help with that.  He knows a lot of people who live in Mandarin (and have lived here a long time).

But first, the timer has gone off and those Christmas decorations are not going to put themselves away.

May your life have enough sunshine

to make you  appreciate the shadows

"In the bleak mid-winter"

 It was our last Christmas as a traditional family.

 We lived in Louisville, Kentucky.  

Life was beginning to be difficult.  I look back on that time and think "it was a bleak mid-winter".

However, we did something we had never done before - and I have continued to appreciate it for the 39 years since then.

We went to church.  Now, you are probably thinking of course you went to church.  You were married to a Baptist minister.  Well.  We didn't just go to church.  

We went to Midnight Mass at the Christ Church Cathedral (Episcopal).

I loved the procession.

I was not well educated with some of the traditions of the Episcopal Church, but I did enjoy participating in the service.

The next day my children enjoyed snow and the presents they were given.  It seems like maybe they didn't get very many presents.  I don't think they were aware of that and I'm not even sure if any of them remember the snow or the church service.

They do know that going to church on Christmas Eve stayed important to me.

And they know that I will so appreciate the opportunity I have tonight, not only to go to church but to be a part of the procession as I am one of the persons who will serve communion alongside our priests.  Who would have thought - 40 years ago tonight - that I would be doing that?

I've been thinking about my life - these past 40 years - reflecting on how I got from there to here.  And truly being grateful for the blessing of God on my life (and the lives of my children)  through so many people.

Christina Rosetti's poem (the source of the title of this blog) is most likely not historically accurate.  Scholars tell us that Jesus was not necessarily born when snow covered the ground.  However, the poem ends with words that resonate with me - "what can I give Him - give Him my heart".

Or being interpreted.

Tonight as I process, singing "O Come All Ye Faithful", I will be expressing the prayer of my heart - one of gratitude for all the blessings on our lives since that bleak mid-winter 40 years ago.

                                            May your life have enough sunshine

                                            to make your appreciate the shadows

What's love got to do with it?

 I'm confused. . .

Truth be told I'm always just a tad confused.  My excuse is that I am creative and I need that part of my personality to make it work.

What am I confused about now?

For years I have enjoyed Advent.  I love the lighting of the candles on an Advent wreath that's a part of worship services on the four Sundays that precede Christmas.  I usually write a blog each week during Advent.  This year has been no exception.  And I have an Advent wreath in my home.

My confusion is that I thought this week was the week that we light the candle of love.  As I researched, thought, and prayed about what to write the word I found was PEACE.  Humph.  I wrote on Peace two weeks ago.

So ... here are my thoughts on LOVE.

It plays a vital role in the Christmas story.  Because of Joseph's love for Mary, he didn't stone (nor did he shun)  his betrothed when he learned that she was going to have a child (Matthew 1:18-19).  

Mary had a natural motherly love for Jesus as she carried Him in her womb.  I loved that way Max Lucado said it:  "Mary loaned her womb so that the Son of God could be born to walk among us and later die on the cross for our sins".  But I am getting ahead of my story.

Jesus focused His preaching on love throughout His ministry.  " You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 'This is the greatest and first commandments.  And a second is like it.  'You shall love your neighbor as yourself" (Matthew 22;37-39). 

And I believe love is the greatest of all the virtues that the Advent candles represent.  Love encompasses Jesus' entire purpose for being on earth.  

And as Sally told Charlie Brown  "That's what Christmas is all about".

I've been thinking of some expressions of love that I know of - some that happened at Christmas.  Our daddy gave our mother her engagement ring a week before Christmas in 1941.  That was 80 years ago.  Their love for God each other and their children remains dear to me.

When my children and I were in the early years of being a single-parent family my son raked leaves so he could purchase a used (would you believe a mid-forties device?) waffle iron for me.  Later he found a train for my home. That was something I had wanted when he was a little boy but never found the funds to make that purchase.   

And then there's the story of the Gift of the Magi.  You know the one by O. Henry when the young bride sold her hair to buy a chain for her husband's watch who sold his watch to buy clips for her hair.  Each sold the most valuable thing he owned in order to buy a gift for the other.

What's love got to do with it?

Everything!

"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son" 

May your life have enough sunshine

so that  you will appreciate the shadows 

No greater joy

It is the third Sunday of Advent.  We light the candle of Joy.

Several years ago the Wonder Women's Bible Study that I facilitate did a Max Lucado story on finding JOY.  Each week much to their chagrin I insisted that we sing a little chorus “Rejoice in the Lord always” in rounds.

Earlier today I wrote, "I think the Joy candle is my favorite".

I've spent several hours trying to figure where that came from.

There have been some Christmas seasons when I had much joy.  In 1971 I had a newborn baby girl.  Barbara Streisand's song The Best Gift was perfect.  She really was (and continues to be) my best gift (well at least the first of three).

Then there was the year that I had very little joy.  1982 was the year that we became a single-parent family.  I made an effort to keep life as close to normal as possible so Sunday School was a priority.  Renee and Tray both boldly asked God for bicycles as they sat in a Sunday School class.  The arrival of two used bikes at our family home on Christmas Eve was met with tears of joy from a mother who was trying to figure all of this out.  And of course, Renee and Tray were overjoyed when they found a clue that led them to the bicycles that were awaiting them the next morning. 

Later the three of them learned the song “Rejoice in the Lord”.  With Becca accompanying them Renee and Tray sang “rejoice in the Lord, He makes no mistake he knoweth the way of each path that I take and when I am tried and purified I shall come forth as gold.”

This past summer their father passed away.  Did we rejoice?  No, of course not.  But we can all agree that God knew our path and while we may not be gold we believe that God has given us reasons for joy.

Those three gifts - remain my greatest source of joy (III John 4).

I'm sure I'm not alone in this statement - sometimes it's difficult to find joy.  

I have wonderful memories of a sweet couple, Jimmy and Geraldine Winburn, who worked with us in a small church in Chattanooga in the mid-'70s.  One of my fondest memories is of a sermon Jimmy preached from the book of James.  He reminded us that we are to count it all joy when difficulty comes our way.

He said that's what makes us Christ-like.

Jimmy passed away a few years ago after struggling with Alzheimer's.  I believe his sweet wife would say that she counts it all joy for the life that they shared.  

HUM

I don't always practice that.

I do know life is better when I make an effort to share.  Sometimes it does take effort.  It's not always easy to go to visit my mother who is sometimes clear and others quite confused.  But she always smiles!  I give her joy.  My garage is going to house a vehicle while my aunt and uncle take a trip.  My aunt thanked me for the gift.  I give her joy.   

JOY is the key to a  happy life!  "Joy to the world - joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea - Joy to you and me!"