"You're not pretty when you cry"

 55 years ago.

I said goodbye to my siblings and my parents and I climbed into the family car and headed for Dayton, Tennessee.

After an overnight stop at daddy's sister, Gloria's lovely Atlanta home where I enjoyed a quick visit with my grandma Lonnie, we were off to Dayton.

Somewhere between that stop and lunch at the now-famous Daytona Cafeteria, my mother had a few words for me.

"Don't call too often.  Just once a day".  I can still see daddy cringe.

"Be sure you write to your sister and brothers and your grandparents".

"Don't fall for the first boy you meet" to which daddy chimed in "You are going to college to get an education, not a husband."

And in turn, I had a few words for my mother.

"Whatever you do, please do not cry when we are on the campus.  You are not pretty when you cry".

I'm not sure if anyone is ever pretty when they cry.

Well, she did cry.  And I cried.  And no doubt, daddy cried.

And the reason the Daytona Cafeteria is famous?  That's the first place I saw the young man who I would eventually marry.  It took 37 years before I would actually finish my education, but that's another story.

I've been remembering that time a lot as I see Facebook postings of some of my friends who are taking their first child to college.  It's a big deal.  

I've written before about the door size poster that my mother sent me.  It said, "Our Paula - ten days by foot, 10 hours by car, 10 seconds by phone and immediately by Prayer".  I was touched recently when my friend Lisa Handel Gray sent me this photo.  It went to Alabama with her daughter, Ginny.

I cried with each of my children.  And I cried when they came home and went back. After my son, Tray's first visit home, as he left to go back to school in Tennessee through my tears I said "Please don't go". I still get choked up saying goodbye. 

So this message is for all of you who are leaving a child at college  

First of all - it's okay to cry - Tears are good for you.  Even if you are not pretty when you cry.

Everyone is going to survive.  And just when you think you are used to them being gone - guess what - they will be back.

This is dedicated to those many friends I have whose children are off to college - and especially to my favorite cry baby - Angela Gallimore Boyd.  Just remember - Wilson can feel your prayers!  

Besides "tears are a language that God understands".  

 

May your life be filled with enough Sunshine 

to make you appreciate the Shadow