Lady in red

 I think her wish has come true

When our mother was in her late 30's she met an older woman who had beautiful white hair and a radiant smile.

"I want to look like that when I am old", mother told our Grandma Nesmith.

"Then you need to start now", Grandma replied.

I think mother was probably a little offended at first.  Whatever did Grandma mean?

The answer was simple.

"Start being that woman today".

To us (and I think most likely to Grandma), mother was already that woman.  She did things for daddy, her children, the community, the church - not always in that order to be truthful.

She also took care of her skin. 

Which is something she still does.

For as long as any of us can remember,  Avon moisturizer has been her twice-daily routine.  At 98 she still wants to have not just the jar she is currently using but a backup.

When I visited her recently I found her napping.  It was the middle of the afternoon and she was wearing pajamas.  They were red.  She never has liked red.  We didn't buy those pajamas.

She was also wearing lipstick.  

The Westminster staff told me that she had refused to change into day clothes that morning. When I asked her about it, she told me she puts them on as soon as they are clean.  

I was most surprised.  She hates red.  Really. Did I mention she never has liked red?  And I promise you, I'm not embellishing the truth.

She thinks red is an angry color.  I often hear that red is my best color, which has made me feel bad since my mother doesn't like it.

Hum -- maybe I can wear red after all.

And more than that - Avon moisturizer.

But most of all - continue to believe that God has a plan - and do what I believe honors him.

Our family so much believes that there is a reason Iva Louise Nesmith Huffingham has lived to be 98 years old.  And we are excited to watch her continue to endeavor to be that person she told grandma that she hoped to become! 

May your life be filled with enough Sunshine 

to make you appreciate the Shadow

.

You have so many friends

 I do have many dear friends.

My children tease me and say I meet someone one day and am having coffee or lunch the next day.

I wasn't very friendly growing up.  I had some sort of "I don't fit" attitude.  I have no idea where that came from.  I did have a few special friends - Bonnie, Linda, John Montgomery.  For a few months, I even had a boyfriend.  But even then I was considered quiet. 

In his letter of recommendation on my college application,   My pastor, Gordon Elliott, described me as a quiet young woman.

Once I arrived on the Bryan College campus in 1965 there was an abrupt personality change. For some reason, I felt like I belonged.  I was comfortable in my own skin.  I believe it was because I was on a Christian campus and I felt like everyone else was like me.  I know now that was not always the case.

That was more than 55 years ago.  In the ensuing years, I have made many dear and lasting friends.

I have wondered - exactly what it is that makes people become friends?  

Hum.

Some of my friends share the same faith walk.  

Some share the tendency to laugh at an inappropriate time

And some share the common love of words.

A time or two in my life I have become friends with a person who is grieving the loss of a mate.

Sometimes I've become friends because I needed encouragement  I really appreciate those people who have reached out to me and filled a gap of some sort of another.

When I was in high school, the youth director visited my parents with some concern.  He said I treated the boys the same way that I treated the girls.

Hum - I have had many dear male friends with no other connection rather than the faith, the laughter, the love of words, or the loss of a mate.

And I have not always had success when I reached out to become someone's friend.  If it doesn't work, it doesn't work and I make an effort to move on without beating myself up wondering what I did that kept it from happening.

I used to complain to my mother that I didn't have any friends.  I was the queen of the pity party.  She told me and told me and told me -- "A ma who has friends must show himeself friendly" (Proverbs 18:24a).

I might have finally learned that!

May your life be filled with enough Sunshine 

to make you appreciate the Shadow

PS If you are reading this - I'm pretty sure that it's because you are my friend.  Thanks!

In your dreams

 

I had never dreamed of going to a Daytona 500.

But when Rich Suhey called me to say he had the opportunity to go and would I go with him - of course, I said yes.

I would have gone anywhere with him.  I was smitten.

I suppose one of the ways he must have known I loved him was that I not only went with him, I enjoyed the day.

All these years later I think of him on Daytona 500 Day.  He loved cars and knew so much about them. 

I remember the day of the 500 in 1999.  Rich had been gone just under three months.  I hurried home from church to be sure I saw the start of the race.  I wondered if somewhere somehow he would be watching the race from the skies.  

That was just a thought of early grief.  

I don't know if my television will even be on this afternoon when the 500 is aired.  I do know that the race is today and I of course remember how much he loved cars.

Hum - I guess one way I knew he loved me was that he wanted to share something that was special to him - with me!

And that's a nice thought on this Valentine's Day, 2021, when romantic love seems far away,

However, today I am creating a birthday card for my youngest granddaughter's 13th birthday.  This week I saw my mother a couple of times, rejoiced with a granddaughter who made a college tour that confirmed her decision to go to Samford University in Birmingham, Alabama, and had a visit with my son.  That's family love.

This week I have also done things I love - I taught the Wonder Women's Bible study after writing the lesson.  I participated in Kiwanis activities and spent some time at the museum where I welcomed a new volunteer, visited with several long time friends, and laughed with a new friend.  

To me - the way the week has gone is a sign that God loves me.  He provides so many wonderful opportunities for me.  And I am truly grateful and blessed.

So I was thinking - memories are great, romance is wonderful, life at 73 years old - it really ain't that bad.

However, if there is a nice man who would like to take me to the Daytona 500 - or for a ride or to dinner or a movie...I might just say yes.  

May your life be filled with enough Sunshine 

to make you appreciate the Shadow

Find your bliss

     Robert Reuben Drashin was born on this day - 74 years ago.    

    We met in the fourth grade.  One day I proudly brought home a flower he had given me at Hogan Spring Glen Elementary - the same flower that my mother and my little sister had seen him "steal" from our neighbor's yard that morning.  For the rest of our lives, he never came to my house without flowers.

     We walked home together every day in the fourth, fifth, and sixth grades, remained friends at Southside Jr. and Englewood.  I went to college in Tennessee and he went to the University of Georgia.  I lived away for many years and when I moved back to Jacksonville he and his wife, Etta,  welcomed me and my children even hosting a party for us.  At our 20th reunion, which was my first, he asked me if I was enjoying "my party".  

     When Rich Suhey died he quickly penned a note that said "anything you need. . ."

     Sometime in the early 2000's and he Etta divorced.  That was when he decided I needed more encouragement.  He kept telling me the same thing - "Paula Sue", he would say "You need to find your bliss".  In his mind, I would do that if I wrote more and if I attached a dollar sign to my words.

     I saw him occasionally and I knew he didn't take good care of himself.  He was overweight but loved dessert; had undergone several heart procedures and was a diabetic  However, I was totally shocked when our friend, Paul Hibel, texted to say that he had died - alone in a small apartment  He was a month shy of 69.

     At his mother's funeral some years earlier, Etta had told me about the Jewish custom of turning dirt when a person was being buried  The meaning behind the turning of the dirt - that's something we can do for the deceased that will not be repaid.  

     So at the end of his service, I took the shovel and turned dirt.  I was the only woman to do this.  I nearly fell into the grave but that's another story.  

      Now - why would I want to give him something?  He had been my friend, yes. And he encouraged me.

     I thought of that early this morning when I remembered that today was his birthday.  I absolutely do what he wanted - I interview and write, I teach and I enjoy so many dear friends.  I remembered a book he had given me. I think he might have been more interested in a different kind of friendship than I was. However, there were more differences between us than the fact that he was such an ardent Bulldog.  A handwritten note is on the first page :

"To get the full value of joy 

you have to have someone to divide it with"  Mark Twain.  

     So here's a message for you dear dear Bobby - I have found my bliss - and I get to divide it again and again.    Thanks!!!

 

May your life be filled with enough Sunshine 

to make you appreciate the Shadow

What will happen to the hawks?

When I moved to Paddle Creek 22 years ago this summer, the south side of Paddle Boat Lane was woods.

One morning there was a wild hog across the way.  I didn't know what to do so I called the police.

When the officer arrived, he was not particularly amused when I asked "what are we supposed to do?"

"Ma'am", he said, "you moved out here."

I'm sure he meant that I (and the other residents of Paddle Creek) had taken control of the land where wildlife had lived forever.

It wasn't too long after that before there were some houses being built in those woods directly across from me.  There's still a grassy knoll where cars of guests to our neighborhood can be parked, dogs walked and friends can visit at the mailbox.

And up until about a month ago, the street was still very quiet.

I returned home after a meeting recently.  It was not a silent night.  I could hear the rush of automobiles on San Jose Boulevard.  This is why:

 The woods that have kept the sound away, not to mention been a home for various animals are gone.

A condominium complex is going to be built.

I miss the woods.

When I walked down to take this photo, a neighbor met me with an alarmed look on his face.

"You know those hawks that we see flying all the time", he asked.

"They lived in one of the oaks that has now been cut down".  He was heartbroken.

I pondered his reaction as I walked back to my home.  I did what most people are doing these days.

I googled it.  Basically "they will go elsewhere".  They were blessed with the innate ability to care for themselves.  That reminded me of a portion of Scripture:  

"Behold the birds of the heaven, that they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; and your heavenly Father feedeth them. ' Matthew 6:26

Another neighbor is very concerned about our nation now that we are under a new administration.

So all three of us are worried.

That's not a good thing.  Age is enough reason for me to have wrinkles...no need to add worry.

And there's an answer for all three of us.

"Don't worry about tomorrow", Jesus implored us.  "For tomorrow will take care of itself".

By and by - all the animals that have been displaced will find a home; we will survive a new administration and according to my very smart builder brother, when the buildings have been completed,  the noise from San Jose will not be so bad.

Besides - I've had a lifetime of opportunities to practice what's in the "book" especially those verses from Matthew 6.  No need to stop that now.

May your life be filled with enough Sunshine 

to make you appreciate the Shadow

 

They were right

 I became the older sister - 70 years ago today,

My mother and daddy said I needed a playmate.  They said it would be fun. They said I would like it.

They both had sisters.  Mother had four; daddy had one.  They both had aunts they dearly loved.  Mother especially loved her Aunt Mattie Lou and wanted to name this baby Martha Louise in her honor.  Mother's middle name (Louise) had been chosen because my Grandma Nesmith thought her sister in law was such a wonderful woman.  I'm not sure which of daddy's aunts was especially dear to him.  I do know his sister Gloria Faye was the joy of his life.  He also did not want his child to have the name, Mattie Lou.  

And so it was that the baby was born on daddy's sister's birthday.  He won - the little girl's name would be Cynthia - Cynthia Faye.

I went to St. Luke's with daddy when it was time to bring the baby home from the hospital.  In those days the mother and baby rode home in an ambulance.  I got to ride.  That was the beginning of fun - I guess.

Now I was three and a half years old.  I was well settled in my position as the eldest.  I knew how to show that I was in charge.  I took a crayon and wrote on the back of the living room sofa.  

They said I would get used to sharing.  They said I was still important. 

Hum

70 years later.

I did get used to sharing.  We shared a bed and she could not stand it if my feet touched hers. 

When shared chores - she always washed the dishes and I dried because I always seemed to miss something when I was washing.

My mother told us how she shared clothes with her sisters when they were teenagers.  That didn't happen with us.  She got the tall gene.

We shared secrets.  No comment on that one.  We still do!

We share the joy of finding love - hers still lives!  She cried all the way down the aisle when I married the first time.  She stood with me again when I married Rich Suhey.  Neither of us has really ever truly gotten over that loss.  And I still so appreciate the boy from down the street that she married 48 years ago.  I never think of either one of them without the other.  In fact, I often think of the three of us as "the team".

We have shared joy - babies and grandbabies, houses to decorate, friends to celebrate.

We have shared sorrow - the loss of our daddy, her grandbaby, and now our brother.

We have shared concern - for our mother as she is now under full-time nursing care approaching her 98th birthday.

Don't you just hate it when someone keeps telling you that you are going to like something when you are not exactly sure that will be true?  And then you finally have to admit it.

Yep - I do like having a little sister!  They were right!

May your life be filled with enough Sunshine 

to make you appreciate the Shadow

Give it a REST

I'm not tired.

Haven't we all heard those words from a child who is afraid they will miss something so they don't want to go to sleep?

I've been guilty of that same attitude.

Sometimes I am asked, do you ever stop?  

The answer is simple - if I have an idea of something to do, or someone to see, or a project that must be done, my tendency is to find a way to do it and enjoy every minute of the experience.

Often, those experiences just seem to get dropped in my lap and I enjoy every minute of the fun!

However, as I continue to age (is that a new wrinkle or is my hair really this silver?), I'm realizing it is important to rest. (Please excuse  the top of my friend, Greg's head; Photoshop seems asleep today.)

I am an early riser.  I love watching the darkness turn to light.  There have been a couple of days recently that I did not open my eyes until the sun was shining (that's a secret; don't tell anyone.  My reputation is at stake).

I'm also known to put my pj's on before the sun has really set, but that's another story.

Recently I read a devotion about rest.  The writer said she had chosen the word "REST" as her word for the year.  She went on to say how hard she tried to make that word a part of her life.

Right - that defeated the purpose of claiming the word.  If you don't allow yourself to live into the word, it doesn't work.

As I thought about rest, my mind drifted back to a duet by June Smith and Bill Kindred when our choir at Glendale Community Church was presenting "No Greater Love".  I can almost hear them - "Come unto me, all ye that weary and I will give you rest." That memory gave me a sense of peace - and it made me want to rest!

In the middle of political and social unrest - I keep thinking that I wish people would

GIVE IT A REST

But I know that old saying "no rest for the weary" or is it the "wicked"?

No matter.  What matters is that at some point, we all have to rest - in our faith, in our family, in our friendships and know that all will be well - SOMEDAY

And now I'm not tired, I'm just going to REST MY EYES

May your life be filled with enough Sunshine 

to make you appreciate the Shadow