Robert Reuben Drashin was born on this day - 74 years ago.
We met in the fourth grade. One day I proudly brought home a flower he had given me at Hogan Spring Glen Elementary - the same flower that my mother and my little sister had seen him "steal" from our neighbor's yard that morning. For the rest of our lives, he never came to my house without flowers.
We walked home together every day in the fourth, fifth, and sixth grades, remained friends at Southside Jr. and Englewood. I went to college in Tennessee and he went to the University of Georgia. I lived away for many years and when I moved back to Jacksonville he and his wife, Etta, welcomed me and my children even hosting a party for us. At our 20th reunion, which was my first, he asked me if I was enjoying "my party".
When Rich Suhey died he quickly penned a note that said "anything you need. . ."
Sometime in the early 2000's and he Etta divorced. That was when he decided I needed more encouragement. He kept telling me the same thing - "Paula Sue", he would say "You need to find your bliss". In his mind, I would do that if I wrote more and if I attached a dollar sign to my words.
I saw him occasionally and I knew he didn't take good care of himself. He was overweight but loved dessert; had undergone several heart procedures and was a diabetic However, I was totally shocked when our friend, Paul Hibel, texted to say that he had died - alone in a small apartment He was a month shy of 69.
At his mother's funeral some years earlier, Etta had told me about the Jewish custom of turning dirt when a person was being buried The meaning behind the turning of the dirt - that's something we can do for the deceased that will not be repaid.
So at the end of his service, I took the shovel and turned dirt. I was the only woman to do this. I nearly fell into the grave but that's another story.
Now - why would I want to give him something? He had been my friend, yes. And he encouraged me.
I thought of that early this morning when I remembered that today was his birthday. I absolutely do what he wanted - I interview and write, I teach and I enjoy so many dear friends. I remembered a book he had given me. I think he might have been more interested in a different kind of friendship than I was. However, there were more differences between us than the fact that he was such an ardent Bulldog. A handwritten note is on the first page :
"To get the full value of joy
you have to have someone to divide it with" Mark Twain.
So here's a message for you dear dear Bobby - I have found my bliss - and I get to divide it again and again. Thanks!!!
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