Advent Four - Christmas and Hallmark???

Today is the fourth Sunday of Advent.

We light the candle of love

     If you know me, you know that I love romance.  I'm a huge romantic.  I loved being in love - more than once and every now and then I think maybe I would like to someday be in love again.

     And I love the Hallmark and Lifetime Christmas movies that are oft-repeated and still really good.

     However, I can't figure out what romance has to do with Christmas.

     Unless the stories focus on family, helping others, traditions, music, children wishing for that special gift or the magic of the Christmas season.

     Well, I really know how it all connects.  I took the PR classes required for my degree in Communications.  I get marketing.

     And as a person who believes strongly in what we celebrate at Christmas, the birth of a baby would grow up and give his life so that we can receive forgiveness for our sins, I get it.  I think the first time I was ever in a Christmas program when I was about 4, I recited John 3:16 -- For God so LOVED the world. . .".

     And I also get it (and appreciate and love) that at Christmas we give gifts.  I still have some of my best gifts.    I've had this snowgirl since Becca was a baby.  That's almost 50 years.  Tray gave me a train in 1997 (something I wanted but never could afford when my children were growing up.  Rich gave me a cross in 1996,

 

     And I still love to give gifts.  By now my grandchidren want gift cards. That's fine except the girls are getting something small so that they feel it's a personal gift.  The boys asked for "THINGS" rather than money.

     When I was doing the research for the last Advent study for our Wonder Women Bible Study I found some examples of sharing God's love. Our first year as a single-family, some dear friends learned that Renee and Tray were praying for a bicycle (unbeknownst to me).  What a joy when they arrived at my door with a bike for each of them.  Becca dreamed of going to the Gator Bowl when her beloved Gators were playing Iowa.  I'll never forget her joy when she opened the tickets for her and her granddaddy. And the year I had totaled my car and needed to buy a new one (not new but still good), my children  handed me back their monetary Christmas gifts to help me with the down payment.

To me, that's the love in Christmas.

     And it's really about loving one another which we do by sharing a gift, something good to eat, a card that says we appreciate and wish someone peace, joy, hope, love.

     That love that was born at Christmas taught us to "Love one another".

     So now that I've given it more thought, I have determined that's what Christmas and Hallmark share.  When we watch those movies, we hopefully see examples of people who love one another.  Predictable??? Yes, but reliable and that's what makes them so good!

.One more special gift - I chose and purchased with a Stein Mart gift card  from the Wonder Women  

May your life be filled with enough Sunshine 

to make you appreciate the Shadow

 

Advent Three - When "life" gives you lemons

GRRRR

I'm in quarantine.

I'm concerned about the person whose positive test has landed her in a hospital.

And I'm a little disgusted that I've had to curtail my activities for the next few days.

I get tested twice a week so that I can visit my mother.  I have tested negative again and again.  However, I'm erring on the side of caution.  I'll get tested tomorrow and that should free me up for visits next week.  This week I'm pretty sure the plan will be Facetime visits.

To be honest, I have been vacillating between "all is well" and grrrr.  However, today is the third Sunday of Advent.  I lit the pink candle this morning. Pink to represent JOY.  

Hum.  JOY???  

I gave it some thought?  Yes, JOY.

Joy in my family - my eldest grandson expressed some concern that I should not crawl around on the floor putting the Christmas Train track together.  "I'll come do it", he said.  And while he was here, he also helped changed the windshield wipers on my car and chided me that I really need to do something about a noise that my front end is making.  I feel so very blessed by my family - he's just one of 13 (three children, three spice, and seven grands).  

Joy in my friends - I have had many sympathy cards (and one of them included 20 first-class stamps) sharing my sorrow at the loss of our brother  When I texted those I had been with this week to say that I had been exposed, I immediately got prayers of peace and healing.

Joy in my faith - As I prepared for the Bible study on Joy I found a couple of great resources.

I learned that the pink candle is also known as the shepherd's candle.  The angels told the shepherds the good news of a Saviour born in Bethlehem and it gave them great joy.  Pink is a JOYFUL color.

This quote was also meaningful to me:  "Joy is an attitude that we should adopt not because of circumstances but because we believe that God is in charge".

And that made me look for ways to find joy in my circumstances.

Over the next few days I have time to complete some projects - write thank you notes for those wonderful expressions of sympathy and address greeting cards from me to my wonderful Mandarin Museum volunteers.  I can watch all the Hallmark and Lifestyle movies that I have DVR'd and create a gift for my mother.

I'd have been looking for time to do that - if I hadn't had to quarantine.

So maybe my first expression should have been "GREAT!" 

May your life be filled with enough Sunshine 

to make you appreciate the Shadow

Advent Two - Peace be with you

I'm my worst critic.

I wrote a blog last Sunday about Hope.  And in the blog, I said that this week's candle is JOY.

I worked on my Bible study for November 30.  Because of scheduling for the month of December, we are focusing on two "candles" per study rather than one. I prepared for JOY.

At the end of the afternoon, I realized -- the second candle is PEACE.

I had no PEACE about that for a few hours.  I was really giving myself a lot of grief.

The women in the Bible study that night were very kind and forgiving.

Tuesday morning I listened to a Monday night voice mail that had come in after I was asleep.

"I'm going to Heaven", the voice said, "and I wanted to tell you I love you and Grace be with you"

One hour later, my brother, Lester telephoned - "Jonathan is with Jesus". 

That voice mail had been from my brother Jonathan at about 9:30 Texas time.  In about three hours, Jonathan passed away.  I'm pretty sure that when he said Grace, he meant to be saying PEACE.

For many reasons, life has not always been peaceful for Jonathan - and there have been times that there was no peace in the relationship that I shared with my Golf and Gator focused and some times very difficult brother.

But somehow, through God's grace the last couple of years we have worked our way into a much better place.

He has visited me a few times; we have talked about that faith that was instilled in us as children.  Since March of this year, I have talked with him each Sunday.  Last Sunday I sent a text to his wife, Tammie, with the words - "Tell Jonathan, I'll always think of our Sunday chats" and in a few minutes he called me to tell me "I've enjoyed our Sunday chats".  

And now it's Sunday.  There will be no Sunday chat with Jonathan.  However, it is the second Sunday of Advent and the candle of Peace will join the candle of Hope.

That's good because I'm having a hard time finding my smile - so I might not be Joyful.  

I smiled as I wrote those last words.  And then I thought of these words from Scripture:

"weeping may endure for the night, but Joy comes in the morning" 

Psalm 30:5

I'm not sure when this photo was taken, but I think his smile says it best -

Jonathan is at peace!

May your life be filled with enough Sunshine 

to make you appreciate the Shadow

Advent One - I hope so

You already know this about me.

I'm a romantic.

I have loved the music and words from The Sound of Music since I was in the 11th grade.  I absolutely swoon when the Captain asks Maria if she is interested in a life with him and her response is I hope so - and then I know so.

And this has something to do with Advent?

Although our family had Christ-centered Christmases, we did not go to a church that celebrated Advent.  Today I think that is rather strange because the roots of Glendale Community Church were in the Methodist Church.  However, I first came to appreciate Advent - with wreaths and candles and families lighting a candle and reading scripture when we were at the Nazarene Church,  Since that time, as an Episcopalian, each year I have an Advent wreath that is displayed in my home from the first Sunday of Advent and throughout the weeks that lead to Christmas when we celebrate the birth of  Jesus.

This year has been no exception -  I've been studying "Advent"  I even asked for some reactions to what people think when they hear the word Advent.

It's basically the four weeks preceding the day that we celebrate the birth of Jesus.

But it is a time of reflection as well.  There are four Sundays, each week focusing on some aspect of what a Christ-follower's life should reflect.  Hope, Joy, Peace, Love.  Anticipation, Celebration, Reconciliation, and Admiration.  (I know I'm not a preacher, I just like words to have some sort of commonality).

This week is Hope.

I love this definition of Hope -"anticipating the future that's better than the present".  That is a perfect definition for the way most of us are feeling during the 9th month of this Pandemic.  

I was reminded recently of a Jerry Clower skit.  It seems that there was a coon-dog after a rabbit and the rabbit went up the tree and the hunter climbed up that tree chasing the rabbit.  The dog just kept barking and barking and finally, the hunter said to his friends - just shoot up here amongst us, one of us has got to get some relief.

I think that's how we feel about the Pandemic.

One of the carols we sing during the Christmas Season, O Holy Night proclaims the wonder of the night that Jesus was born saying  " . . .a weary world rejoices"

That describes us this year, don't you think?  We are certainly a weary world. Do you think my current Advent wreath says that?

It looks pretty sad, don't you think?  Is there any hope that life will get better?

I certainly hope so.

No, I know so.  I believe that waiting and watching will eventually bring a solution. And I believe it will bring  Joy to the World!

Because I believe in another definition of Hope - that's a Biblically-based one - Hope is different from Optimism.  Hope is based on a Person - that very Baby Whose birth we celebrate soon.  He's what Advent is really all about.

And as for the Advent wreath, I promise to spiff it up a bit -- no need for it to look as sad as we all sometimes feel.  Where's the Joy?

Next week.

They work better when they are new

School supplies.

This is what I equate the first day back to school with.  I still love "back to school" shopping although it's been more than 25 years since I had to do that - at least for my children.

My youngest grandchildren start the 7th grade today.  They have already spent their first year in Middle School - like their parents but different from their grandma.

Seventh grade was, for me, my entrance into the world of High School.

It was 1959.  We had a new baby in our family.  Life had already gotten quite different for my sister, Cindy, and me. For six years I had walked to school or been taken by car. And Cindy and I went to the same school.  This year she would be a third-grader.  And she would be the chosen one for our mother to take to school.  So, I guess, mother and Jonathan (who was then five months old) took Cindy for her first day of school,

And I got on the bus and went to Englewood.

I'll never forget that morning.  I felt so strange.  A little bit alone I'm sure.

And then I saw a friend - and her mother - looking into a window in one of the wings at Englewood.  And I felt so grown up.  My mother sent me to school - she didn't go with me.

I always remember that morning now more than 60 years ago.  I especially remembered it this weekend as I read Mark Woods' column in the Florida Times Union.  "Boo Hoo's and Yahoos" -  what a great title.  His eldest child is starting college.  There's sadness and gladness all wrapped up into the same emotional state.  

My friend, Angela Boyd posted this photo of her son, Wilson, the day Angela and her husband, Steven, left their firstborn at the Univesity of Florida.

This photo is similar to Mark Woods' words as he described Mia walking away from them. 

We raise our children to be independent and seeing that happen brings joy and a question - now that they are growing up - what's the parent to do? Some yahoos, some boohoos, lots of praying.

In addition to having two 7th grade grands, I have a freshman, a junior and two seniors - not to mention a junior in college.  I am so glad I didn't have to make the decision about their return to "brick and mortar".  I am also glad I'm not the at-home teacher of any who are at home.  That's one of the benefits of being the grandmother.   I so appreciate those of you who had to make that "keep your children safe" decision and more than that grandparents I know who are the teachers. 

And now I'm going to grab a mask and take a walk - through the "Back to School" aisles.  I really need some pencils. No, I'm not taking a class - it's just that pencils work better when they are new.

May your life be filled with enough Sunshine 

to make you appreciate the Shadow

"You're not pretty when you cry"

 55 years ago.

I said goodbye to my siblings and my parents and I climbed into the family car and headed for Dayton, Tennessee.

After an overnight stop at daddy's sister, Gloria's lovely Atlanta home where I enjoyed a quick visit with my grandma Lonnie, we were off to Dayton.

Somewhere between that stop and lunch at the now-famous Daytona Cafeteria, my mother had a few words for me.

"Don't call too often.  Just once a day".  I can still see daddy cringe.

"Be sure you write to your sister and brothers and your grandparents".

"Don't fall for the first boy you meet" to which daddy chimed in "You are going to college to get an education, not a husband."

And in turn, I had a few words for my mother.

"Whatever you do, please do not cry when we are on the campus.  You are not pretty when you cry".

I'm not sure if anyone is ever pretty when they cry.

Well, she did cry.  And I cried.  And no doubt, daddy cried.

And the reason the Daytona Cafeteria is famous?  That's the first place I saw the young man who I would eventually marry.  It took 37 years before I would actually finish my education, but that's another story.

I've been remembering that time a lot as I see Facebook postings of some of my friends who are taking their first child to college.  It's a big deal.  

I've written before about the door size poster that my mother sent me.  It said, "Our Paula - ten days by foot, 10 hours by car, 10 seconds by phone and immediately by Prayer".  I was touched recently when my friend Lisa Handel Gray sent me this photo.  It went to Alabama with her daughter, Ginny.

I cried with each of my children.  And I cried when they came home and went back. After my son, Tray's first visit home, as he left to go back to school in Tennessee through my tears I said "Please don't go". I still get choked up saying goodbye. 

So this message is for all of you who are leaving a child at college  

First of all - it's okay to cry - Tears are good for you.  Even if you are not pretty when you cry.

Everyone is going to survive.  And just when you think you are used to them being gone - guess what - they will be back.

This is dedicated to those many friends I have whose children are off to college - and especially to my favorite cry baby - Angela Gallimore Boyd.  Just remember - Wilson can feel your prayers!  

Besides "tears are a language that God understands".  

 

May your life be filled with enough Sunshine 

to make you appreciate the Shadow

When the daughter becomes the mother

I thought it wouldn't happen until I was in my 70's.

Hello!

I have promised my children that when it is time for them to become my parent I want them to remind me that I have said I will listen.

For me, one of the most difficult parts of having an aging mother is that sometimes I've had to say "mother you really shouldn't do that".  Like the time she thought she could walk to her church and deliver something that she wanted there before Sunday.  Or the time she used her walker, but still moved plants that were hanging outside our kitchen window.  Or when she went through the line at Michaels without knowing how much money was in her checking account.

Just little things.

First - let me begin with a disclaimer.  I have been tested and I do not have COVID19.  At least I didn't on Saturday, August 8 when I made a trip to my nearby Carespot.

However, I was with a friend for dinner in late July. A few days later, my friend learned that she had been exposed just four days before our time together.   My friend quickly quarantined herself and went for the test.

She told me and to be truthful I almost forgot about it.

But when she became ill on her 12th day (since she had been with the other friend), I became a little more concerned.

I was mostly concerned about her.

I had a cavalier attitude as far as my personal health

"Yes", I told my daughter. " I will tell the friends I am supposed to have lunch with on Saturday, but no I'm not going to cancel my scheduled early voting responsibilities.  I'm not doing anything that drastic until my friend's results are back".

"Mom, it's time for me to be the mother".

Renee - you could have not said anything that I would hear louder.

So I made that call.  I prepared to stay home through this Thursday (14 days after my dinner with my friend).  I ordered groceries.  I started some creative projects.  But I was just sure that my friend was going to get negative results.

Until she texted me - Positive.

I took myself to Carespot for the test.  It was a piece of cake.  No worse than having one's finger pricked for a quick blood test.  I heard it could be as long as 18 days.  YIPES

I made the difficult calls to friends I had been with since I had been exposed to someone who tested positive. This was no one's fault.  We wear masks.  We social distance. The restaurant where we were is well covered - the only thing any of us could have done is stay home.  

Maybe I am in my 70's - but staying home is not on my current agenda.

My results came back quickly.  I had tested negatively.  I happily shared my good news.  Even my friend (who is recuperating at home) was delighted.

Now, will I always be able to hear one of my children when they think I'm about to make an unwise decision? That day years from now when I become the child and one of them is the parent?

To borrow from one of Renee's favorite growing-up words -

"Hopefully"

May your life be filled with enough Sunshine 

to make you appreciate the Shadow