Would you be my friend?

I often use three words to describe who I am

My faith in Christ is at the center of my life.  One of my favorite songs (tied with "It is Well with my Soul") is "Great is Thy Faithfulness".  One of my grandaughters has the sweet name of Faith as her middle name.  I love this definition of Faith = forsaking all I trust Him.

I love being a daughter, a mother, a grandmother, a sister, a niece, an aunt and a cousin.  I consider myself blessed to have been raised in a Christian home with parents who didn't just send me to Sunday School but took me; who didn't just pray for me, but prayed with me and who remain a consistent example of caring for others.

And I love the fact that I have a plethora of friends - which is where my thoughts are today.

I don't look back on my childhood and teenage years as being a person who had a lot of friends.  I know that's hard to grasp if you know me very well today.  I was not confident.  I continually compared myself to others who were better looking, had more clothes or made better grades.  I didn't like myself so how could anyone like me!

Unfortunately, I was raised in a church where although the Bible was preached, so were all the things one didn't do if one was a Christian.  It made me afraid to have fun for fear I would break some rule.  I was a rule follower!

However, when I got to a Christian college, I relaxed.  Suddenly I was outgoing, friendly, maybe even a flirt. No maybe about that - I was and I am.

And now I have so many dear friends that I am hard pressed to tell you who my best friend is!

But here's one thing about my friends - they are all different.  I have very dear friends who are ardent Trump supporters -and some who are not.  I have friends who are Gators and some who are not = some are even Seminoles.  I have some who worry about their weight and some who don't. Some are happily married and some need to fine a way to be happily married or ... (that's meddling, sorry).

I have had good friendships that went sour and have had to fight to keep a couple friendships strong.  There have been times when I had to know when to walk away - with words of "I'll just keep praying for you".

Recently I was asked, "what's the secret of your having so many friends?"  I hope it's my faith.

A future homeowner stopped in to see how her house was coming along.  She had many questions and concerns and I listened.  I didn't really know her, but in time she was sharing her story (some tragic) with me  All I did was stand there and listen - asking questions and being interested in her responses.

The next day she was back in our office with a question "could we meet for lunch?".  I took that request as her saying "would you be my friend?"

We haven't found a good time to meet just yet, but we will.  I think I know why I have so many friends.  "A man who hath friends must show himself friendly" (Proverbs 18:24a).

May your life be filled with enough sunshine

 to make you appreciate the shadows

NOTE:  The words Faith, Family, and Friends hang on the wall of my bedroom.  They are the creation of my granddaughter, Allie Blain (https://www.letters4luv.com).

When the tables are turned

I was in the 7th grade.  Life was tough.  At least it seemed that way to me.

My sister, Cindy, and I each had chores that must be done on Saturday mornings before we could take our allowance and walk to the drug store on the highway.

Cindy was probably cleaning the bathrooms, and I was vacuuming and dusting.  I was in a nasty mood.  Something set me off, and I started to cry.

I don't often cry now so that may not be an easy thing for you to picture.

As I was vacuuming and crying and crying and vacuuming, my mother appeared in the den.

"What are you crying about?" she asked.

"You're the mother, you're supposed to know," I exclaimed.

Fast forward with me to 2018.  That same mother is now 95 years old.

And sometimes things are just not right in her world.

A few weeks ago, it was that her apartment wasn't "homey", then it was her hair, then she needed some new blouses.  So we took care of that.

Yet still it was if she was crying out to me - nothing seemed to make her feel better.

Until an afternoon when she was visiting me, and my neighbor stopped in for a visit.

The conversation thrilled her.  It was about the Holy Spirit, one of my mother's favorite topics.

And I was grateful that even though I didn't plan the conversation, one of her needs had been met.

My mother really depends on me to know what to do when things are going awry.  I'm the one who can call the doctor, talk to the nurse, take her to have her nails done, etc. etc. etc.

For so long, it was my mother encouraging me - always looking for a way to make me happy.

And now it's me who has the responsibility.  I do realize.  however, that try as I might, I cannot always make my mother happy.   In reality,  I had to find my own happiness, didn't I?

And so does my mother.  

While, as her principle caregiver, I am responsible for her safety,, my mother has to find her own happiness.  I'm pretty sure it comes when she allows the reality of the Holy Spirit in her life.

And now I've gone from preaching to meddling.  That's okay - she's been guilty of that in my life more than once.

It's just one of those times when the tables are turned.

May your life be filled with enough sunshine

to make you appreciate the shadows

Nothing

 I had just completed a diatribe of how my day had gone.

"I know I'm 'called' to care for my mother," I told the women in my prayer group.  "But I just get tired".

My friend, Holly, smiled at me with these words:  "What can we do to help?"

Nothing.

Why in the world is that a common response - when offered help?

I thought of that as I meditated on the fact that today is Maundy Thursday,  The name comes from "mandate of the 'new commandment'" that was given by Jesus.  It was the last time that Jesus would share a meal with His disciples.  At that Last Supper, Jesus washed his disciples’ feet and commanded them to love and serve one another as he had done when he washed their feet.  He even washed the feet of the one He knew was going to betray Him.

In my years as an Episcopalian, I have learned to love and appreciate liturgical worship.  I love the traditions that we follow from year to year. I always look forward to the Maundy Thursday service.

Except...I am great with washing someone else's feet, but not so great about someone doing the same for me.

The Lord Jesus, after he had supped with his disciples and
had washed their feet, said to them,

 "Do you know what I,

your Lord and Master, have done to you? 

I have given you an example,

 that you should do as I have done (from the Book of Common Prayer)

Hum.  I need a lesson in humility.

Tonight, someone else is going to wash my feet - they are doing it "as unto the Lord".

I'm also making a list of ways my friends can help me as I am in a stage in my life when I really need help.  I cannot do everything ...I must let my friends "do things as unto the Lord".

May your life be filled with enough sunshine
to make you appreciate the shadows

Not the way we planned it

March 12, 1923

Iva Louise was born to Ellie and Pauline Mercer Nesmith in Georgetown County, South Carolina.  She was the second child, first girl.  Four sisters, Thelma, Carolyn Ann, and Beth would follow her.  They would all be Rudoph's little sisters.  Before Carolyn's birth, the family relocated to Florida where Ellie went to work for Mason Lumber Company.

1929

The Nesmiths moved to South Jacksonville and began to attend the Methodist Church nearby. They met Ted and Lonnie Huffigham and were invited to Sunday dinner.

That's the first time my mother met my father.

August 5, 1942

Iva Louis and Earl were married.  He was a soldier boy and went off to war to be gone for almost four years.  Upon his return, they began their family.  I was born, then Cindy three and a half years later.  We had a fun life.  In 1959 their first son,  Jonathan was born.  Two years later, a second son, Lester completed the family.

For 67 years our parents celebrated their love for God, each other and their family.  By now that family numbers almost 40 and that's without the step-grands and greats.  And, of course, there are babies to come.

Spring 2018

We began to plan our mother's 95th birthday.  We decided to forego a big party.  We will wait for her 100th.

We did plan a family luncheon at Beach Road Chicken Dinner.  We thought we would have 35 with us to celebrate on the Sunday before her birthday.  Her sisters (Carolyn, Ann, and Beth are still with us) planned a nice luncheon on the actual anniversary of her birth.

All was set

Until my mother got cold on Sunday, March 4.  That led to a cough and a diagnosis of exacerbated Chronic Oxygen Pulmonary Disease (COPD).  She was admitted and spent five days at Baptist South.

And so the plans were changed

We will just reschedule the Beach Road Chicken Dinner extravaganza.  The sisters will have lunch another day.

The good that came out of this:

Four of 11 grandchildren enjoyed one on one visits.  Her sisters gave her a book that is about each of their relationships with her and a balloon.


That night her cousin, Evalyn came and they enjoyed face-timing with some of their South Carolina Nesmith cousins.

In one of her scrapbooks is a poem that her aunt Lila Newton gave her when daddy was on the way to the Pacific in World War II.  I'm not positive about the words, but I do know the concept is that sometimes the plans we make get rearranged and that God always has a better way.

Were we wrong to plan the celebration?  No

Did it all work out?  Well, she still had a birthday.

It was just not the way we planned.

By now, she is recovering well, back at home at Brookdale Mandarin and seems quite happy to be once more in her pretty apartment and with her good friends.  And we will start thinking about her 100th birthday.  It will be big.  We need a long time to plan it

May your life be filled with enough sunshine

 to make you appreciate the shadows

The wrong person

My mother and I were walking across the Stein Mart parking lot.  As is most always the case, I was more than a few steps ahead of her.

A young man, sitting in a wheelchair called out to me

"Could you buy me a sandwich?"

I shook my head  - no.

He was persistent.

"But I'm hungry", he said.

Sorry, I'm taking care of someone else, was my response.  I pointed to my mother, slowly making her way, her hands on her walker.

"But the Bible says you should take care of the poor and hungry", the man was persistant.

When I told him that I know what the Bible says he shot me a question.

"Then what does Philippians 4:13 say?"

"I can do all things through Christ which strengthened me".

The man shouted Hallelujah and wheeled himself on down the walkway.

When I related that store to my son, he said  "that guy chose the wrong person.  Did you tell him you had all afternoon if he wanted to suggest some other references?"

I'm sharing that story not because I think I'm some Bible scholar.  It's just that the Bible has been a part of my life - for well - all my life.

That night the key verse in our Bible study discussion was Joshua 1/8 -- It talks about the importance of knowing and meditating on God's word. 

When we know it, we can use it.  In times of sorrow, temptation, anger.  fear

47 years ago I had a cyst removed from my neck.  I was scared.  This was before babies and I had never had a broken bone or had a stitch.  As they wheeled me to the operating room, my mind talked with me with each turn of the wheel of the gurney.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart..."

Obviously, I survived that surgery plus many more opportunities to rely on Scripture verses that I have known since I was a child.

Yes, the guy asked the wrong person but fortunately, I had the right answer.

Daddy's Jacket

Our Texas brother, Jonathan, is in town this week for the Celebration of the life of Louis Johnson who is his children's other grandmother.

We have had some interesting chats and done a couple of memorable things - like changing the flowers at the Cemetery and I gave him a tour of Walter Jones Park.

The first morning of his visit, there was a jacket hanging on one of my dining room chairs.

"You know whose jacket that is, right", he asked me, most likely knowing that his persnickety older sister is always aware when something that isn't normally supposed to be someplace "shows up".

"It's daddy's", he said.

Of course, that would make it okay.

All week I have been thinking about daddy's jacket.  Actually, I have been thinking about the man who wore it.

Probably because we are saying goodbye to a woman we have admired for many years.  Louise Johnson was a faithful Christian who loved her husband, children, and grandchildren - not to mention those who are connected in some way to them.

Earl Huffigham was a faithful Christian who loved his wife, children, and grandchildren - not to mention those who are connected in some way to them.

And this week we have learned of the homegoing of Billy Graham.

Talk about faithful!

And add the word, Legacy.  For that indeed is what Louise Johnson, Earl Huffingham, and Billy Graham have in common (in addition to the faith in Jesus Christ).  They have a legacy.  It's their children, grandchildren - and in Billy's case - the world.

Last night I heard the Right Reverend John Howard (8th Bishop of Florida) recall his first time to hear Billy Graham.  He said he may not have walked an aisle as the choir sang "Just as I am" but in his heart, he knew that he was going to follow Christ.

One of the songs that our daddy loved was "Find Us Faithful".  That's more of the legacy that Louise, daddy and Billy Graham have left.  We found them faithful!

Jonathan will go back to Texas.  He will take daddy's jacket.  He wants to take the Florida Gators sign that I put in my yard on game day.  Not a chance - that's a part of our legacy, too.

May your life be filled with enough sunshine

 to make you appreciate the shadows

You call this a King's Cake?

Today is Epiphany.

Our Widows and Widowers group gets together for games the first Friday of each month.  So since today is Epiphany, how should faithful Episcopalians celebrate?  Have King's Cake of course.

So I did some research.  This is what a King's Cake looks like.  I could order one.  Not enough time.  I would go to Publix.

Except - with the cold and nasty weather, I never got to Publix to order it and since this is my first time to do anything like this, I really couldn't order online or even on the phone.  And then it was too late.

I would have to get creative.  

I was talking with my children about my project, explaining that the baby in the cake symbolizes luck and prosperity to whomever bites into a slice and finds it.

Our discussion led to the etymology of the word Epiphany.  Why is today called Ephipany and what does that have to do with one having an epiphany. So, I did some Wikipedia-style research.

"When capitalized, Epiphany.is an observation in commemoration of the coming of the Magi as the first manifestation of Christ to the Gentiles...",

That would be why we often have an Epiphany pageant on this day.

'The word epiphany means a usually sudden manifestation or perception of the essential nature of the meaning of something."

It's like those times when we suddenly have an idea or a thought and wonder "why did't I think of that?"

So back to my King's cake.  As I walked through Publix - no King's cake in my basket, I kept wondering - what could I do?  Surely I was not going to show up at our game night sans cake/

And I bought a cake mix - one with sprinkles looked more festive.  But what about a baby?

And suddenly, I had an epiphany.  I got creative.  Here are some clues.   It's small and edible.  I looked for the size I enjoyed as a child I don't think they make that size anymore.  At least I could't find one.

I promise you that there is a baby (of sorts) in this cake.  A baby that one  of our widows or widowers will chump down.  And next year that person can purchase the King's Cake.

Happy Epiphany.

May your life be filled with enough sunshine

 to make you appreciate the shadows