By God's providence

You might have heard me say this:

"My father was born here; my siblings and I were born here; my parents have 11 grandchildren and 8 of them were born here - my children were born in Chattanooga".

Of course, by God's providence, I ended up raising my children - here.

In Jacksonville.

We had been here only a short time when my mother suggested that I take something she had written about loving life in the area of town we lived - southside - and rewrite it.  As it happened the Florida Times-Union was running a series where they invited readers to submit a story under the title "I Love where I Live".

That was 40 years ago.  And fortunately, the TU editors liked what I wrote.  It was the first time I was paid for my words - $50.

Between 1965 and 1982, I lived in Tennessee, Georgia, North Carolina and Kentucky.  I remember that during football season I was glued to a television on the day of the Florida-Georgia game because I knew there would be shots of the Jacksonville skyline.  When my marriage ended in '82 my former mother-in-law's words to me were 

"You should be happy - you get to live in Jacksonville."

Again, by God's providence, I got to raise my children here.

And now I live in Mandarin.  I really love living here.  From the beauty of our area - trees and the river; to the interesting history to the wonderful sense of community - this is an area of the city I love - that gives me a sense of peace.

At this time in my life, I have the privilege of sharing the story of Mandarin's history as the only paid employee at the Mandarin Museum & Historical Society.  I can often be found enjoying the tranquility of the river (or Julington Creek) and I appreciate the opportunities of community - like the sale of pumpkins at Mandarin United Methodist, the Food Trucks and Music evenings at the Episcopal Church of Our Saviour and Arts Festival that the Mandarin Community Club sponsors.  

When I wrote that first "I love where I live" my life had been shattered.  I had found peace and tranquility in that old house on Ryar Road.  My parents and my siblings, the memories of my life growing up there, and the fact that there was a swimming pool where I could sit, rest, and regroup were helpful.

In the last 21 months I have had five losses - some more life-shattering than others - but still losses. I was also involved in a frightening automobile accident and had a nasty case of COVID.  

"You are powering through your losses", my dear friend Deb told me. 

She was kindly chiding me - my words were not positive.  I was grumpy.  I was very negative about my current state.  I was acting like this saying from my childhood:

"Nobody likes me; everybody hates me;

 I'm gonna go and eat some worms"

When I typed the last statement I made a typographical error.  I typed words rather than worms.  Someitmes I need to do that - eat my words - because sometimes that's all I am -  words -- trying to gloss over the fact that sometimes (like yesterday) I am really in a slump.

 And no doubt about it - yesterday I was in a slump - and thankfully I have friends like Deb who can give me a push and help me.

This morning I've been endeavoring to recapture what I did to survive - 40 years ago.  

I am so busy powering through that that I am not taking the time to reflect, rest and regroup. 

And really appreciate the fact that I love where I live - from the history to the beauty to the sense of community I enjoy. NOT to mention the friends who are standing by my side at this time!

I really do believe that this is by God's providence. 

May your life have enough sunshine,

To make you appreciate the shadows