13 years ago today

He was three months shy of his 88th birthday.  The long hot summer was coming to an end.  It had included visits from family and friends who thanked him for what he had meant in their lives.

As I finished getting ready for work, he asked me (more than once) if I was not going to work that day.

He asked my mother if they had anything they needed to talk about.

The morning was quiet and then just after noon he was suddenly in excruciating pain.  The Hospice nurse returned and our family began to gather around his bedside.

He rejected the meds that were given, and I told him they were helping him relax.

Rev. Kevin Pound arrived and leaned into his ear, personalizing the words of Psalm 23.

"The Lord is Earl's shepherd; You have prepared a place for Earl. . ."

And then somehow - those words and the medicine helped and daddy sort of wafted out the window.  I've read that it is the custom of some to open the windows when it's time for a person to die.  That makes it easier for the spirit to leave the body.

That wasn't necessary in daddy's case.    

Now, why do I remember each of these details and the ones I’ve not shared on the page.  

I was lamenting this to one of my aunts earlier this week I said it feels weird that I remember all these things - and keep writing about both my parents and their passing.

Aunt Beth's words of wisdom came back to me.

You have been close, physically and emotionally, to both Earl and Iva.  It seems to me, that when we have many things around us like dates, Bible verses, Gators, present for their death, etc. that continue to bring memories to mind we’ll continue to feel that loss more often than those who have had less things that remind us of them.  

And what happens to me - as my thoughts go to the day that something significant happened?  I get a little teary, a lot gloomy, and find it difficult to focus. Then most fortuitously I often can almost hear my dad's words when what felt like the weight of the world lay heavily on my shoulders.

"Snap out of it", he often said.

So, I write, I clean house, I listen to music (while cleaning house) and by and by the sadness dissipates - sometimes the same way that I felt my father's spirit just sort of wafted out the window.

And I concentrate on the good memories - the laughter and the fun we shared.  Remembering daddy on this day  

His faith (and the way he taught us to live by it); His love for God, Golf, and the Gators - and of course his love for our mother, my siblings and me,  and our children, etc.  

We are beyond fortunate to have the heritage we share because of Earl Ray Huffingham - 12/18/21  09/16/09. 

                                                              May your life have enough sunshine   

To make you appreciate the shadows