Peace in the Midst of the Storm

The storm is coming and I am prepared.  I understand the issues that can be created when the winds and rains of a hurricane are upon us. 

I have memories of many such occurrences.

I remember when we missed school for a week - when our family of six slept on the floor (on mattresses) and listened as the wind howled through the trees near Pottsburg Creek.  That was in 1964. And the name of the Hurricane was Dora.

All these years later I live in Mandarin.  My friends here have vivid memories of  that Hurricane.  Anne Morrow was standing at her bedroom window when a tree fell into the beloved Stowe window at the Episcopal Church of Our Saviour.  

At this time in my life, I'm very aware of that tragedy.  Not only am I a member at Our Saviour, I'm the volunteer coordinator at the Mandarin Museum, so I know a little about Harriet Beecher Stowe's 17 winters on our beloved St. Johns.

I like that connection.  I had no clue as a high school senior that there might be something that tragic happening on the other side of our county.  And who would have dreamed that 58 years later, I would be this closely aligned to it.

From Dora to Ian - many hurricane experiences and memories and strangely, I don't remember being concerned about hurricanes when I lived in other parts of the country.  Certainly not the way our family memories seem to be interested in our well-being when our area is in harm's way (for which I am grateful).

As I reach into my memory bank I remember Hugo - nothing between Dora and Hugo - I'm sure there were others.  I just can't remember them (that would be something most people would not believe - Paula not remembering).

I do remember driving through South Carolina and seeing the destruction that Hugo's path left.  I think that was in 1989,  I usually remember what was going on with our family in relation to a hurricane.  Renee was a Freshman at Stetson for Andrew, Tray was about to marry Kristen when Floyd was the issue. 

 And then there's the year that daddy was concerned that a rescue vehicle might not make it down our street if the wobbly tree across the way fell.  The name of the hurricane nor the year are in my memories.  I just remember how grateful daddy was when I called the JSO non-emergency hotline and was told they had it under control. 

Five years ago I heard the trees fall on my deck as Irma passed through.  Renee had been forced to evacuate Naples.  During Ian, I have been so grateful that she and Wally live in Nashville as I see the photos that are coming out of Southwest Florida.

I am also grateful that my mother is not at Westminister Woods as she was in 2019 when the patients were evacuated.  She has been at Westminster only a few months and the move took a toll on her.  She was most confused.  Not sure I was grateful then.

But these are my memories. 

About 18 months ago Bill Morrow shared the memory of one of his friends. And that story had a profound impact on me.  

In fact, it is now my favorite hurricane memory and it's not even mine

It seems that this man's wife had recently had a hip replacement.  They lived on Julington Creek and he brought her home from rehab the day before Hurricane Irma was headed this way.

She slept in a recliner and just before dawn he woke her.  She asked about the creek and was told - it's high.  She was afraid.

"What are we going to do?", she asked her husband.

He was calm.  He knew there was nothing to do.  

So he told her they were going to have a cup of coffee.

And the way the story goes, her fears were eliminated.   Unfortunately, while nothing bad happened that day to the man and his wife, the waters did destroy the foundation of their home.  So he built her a new home - right on that same spot. 

I didn’t know her but I believe that she was very grateful for the home that she enjoyed for just 18 months before she passed away.

I had met the man only briefly when Bill told me this story.  I was already interested to learn more about him.  And after hearing the story I knew – this was a very kind man.

So here’s another thing I am grateful for as Hurricane Ian makes its way toward us - that man is my best friend - who still believes a cup of coffee works -- 

May your life have enough sunshine,  To make you appreciate the shadows

 

By God's providence

You might have heard me say this:

"My father was born here; my siblings and I were born here; my parents have 11 grandchildren and 8 of them were born here - my children were born in Chattanooga".

Of course, by God's providence, I ended up raising my children - here.

In Jacksonville.

We had been here only a short time when my mother suggested that I take something she had written about loving life in the area of town we lived - southside - and rewrite it.  As it happened the Florida Times-Union was running a series where they invited readers to submit a story under the title "I Love where I Live".

That was 40 years ago.  And fortunately, the TU editors liked what I wrote.  It was the first time I was paid for my words - $50.

Between 1965 and 1982, I lived in Tennessee, Georgia, North Carolina and Kentucky.  I remember that during football season I was glued to a television on the day of the Florida-Georgia game because I knew there would be shots of the Jacksonville skyline.  When my marriage ended in '82 my former mother-in-law's words to me were 

"You should be happy - you get to live in Jacksonville."

Again, by God's providence, I got to raise my children here.

And now I live in Mandarin.  I really love living here.  From the beauty of our area - trees and the river; to the interesting history to the wonderful sense of community - this is an area of the city I love - that gives me a sense of peace.

At this time in my life, I have the privilege of sharing the story of Mandarin's history as the only paid employee at the Mandarin Museum & Historical Society.  I can often be found enjoying the tranquility of the river (or Julington Creek) and I appreciate the opportunities of community - like the sale of pumpkins at Mandarin United Methodist, the Food Trucks and Music evenings at the Episcopal Church of Our Saviour and Arts Festival that the Mandarin Community Club sponsors.  

When I wrote that first "I love where I live" my life had been shattered.  I had found peace and tranquility in that old house on Ryar Road.  My parents and my siblings, the memories of my life growing up there, and the fact that there was a swimming pool where I could sit, rest, and regroup were helpful.

In the last 21 months I have had five losses - some more life-shattering than others - but still losses. I was also involved in a frightening automobile accident and had a nasty case of COVID.  

"You are powering through your losses", my dear friend Deb told me. 

She was kindly chiding me - my words were not positive.  I was grumpy.  I was very negative about my current state.  I was acting like this saying from my childhood:

"Nobody likes me; everybody hates me;

 I'm gonna go and eat some worms"

When I typed the last statement I made a typographical error.  I typed words rather than worms.  Someitmes I need to do that - eat my words - because sometimes that's all I am -  words -- trying to gloss over the fact that sometimes (like yesterday) I am really in a slump.

 And no doubt about it - yesterday I was in a slump - and thankfully I have friends like Deb who can give me a push and help me.

This morning I've been endeavoring to recapture what I did to survive - 40 years ago.  

I am so busy powering through that that I am not taking the time to reflect, rest and regroup. 

And really appreciate the fact that I love where I live - from the history to the beauty to the sense of community I enjoy. NOT to mention the friends who are standing by my side at this time!

I really do believe that this is by God's providence. 

May your life have enough sunshine,

To make you appreciate the shadows

 

13 years ago today

He was three months shy of his 88th birthday.  The long hot summer was coming to an end.  It had included visits from family and friends who thanked him for what he had meant in their lives.

As I finished getting ready for work, he asked me (more than once) if I was not going to work that day.

He asked my mother if they had anything they needed to talk about.

The morning was quiet and then just after noon he was suddenly in excruciating pain.  The Hospice nurse returned and our family began to gather around his bedside.

He rejected the meds that were given, and I told him they were helping him relax.

Rev. Kevin Pound arrived and leaned into his ear, personalizing the words of Psalm 23.

"The Lord is Earl's shepherd; You have prepared a place for Earl. . ."

And then somehow - those words and the medicine helped and daddy sort of wafted out the window.  I've read that it is the custom of some to open the windows when it's time for a person to die.  That makes it easier for the spirit to leave the body.

That wasn't necessary in daddy's case.    

Now, why do I remember each of these details and the ones I’ve not shared on the page.  

I was lamenting this to one of my aunts earlier this week I said it feels weird that I remember all these things - and keep writing about both my parents and their passing.

Aunt Beth's words of wisdom came back to me.

You have been close, physically and emotionally, to both Earl and Iva.  It seems to me, that when we have many things around us like dates, Bible verses, Gators, present for their death, etc. that continue to bring memories to mind we’ll continue to feel that loss more often than those who have had less things that remind us of them.  

And what happens to me - as my thoughts go to the day that something significant happened?  I get a little teary, a lot gloomy, and find it difficult to focus. Then most fortuitously I often can almost hear my dad's words when what felt like the weight of the world lay heavily on my shoulders.

"Snap out of it", he often said.

So, I write, I clean house, I listen to music (while cleaning house) and by and by the sadness dissipates - sometimes the same way that I felt my father's spirit just sort of wafted out the window.

And I concentrate on the good memories - the laughter and the fun we shared.  Remembering daddy on this day  

His faith (and the way he taught us to live by it); His love for God, Golf, and the Gators - and of course his love for our mother, my siblings and me,  and our children, etc.  

We are beyond fortunate to have the heritage we share because of Earl Ray Huffingham - 12/18/21  09/16/09. 

                                                              May your life have enough sunshine   

To make you appreciate the shadows

Work a little; Pray a lot!

 Dear Mother

I've been thinking of you today.

For a couple of reasons.

Today is Labor Day.  You always enjoyed this day because you liked to work and you enjoyed encouraging others to work as well.

This morning I pressure-washed part of the driveway and the floor in the garage.  It was fun but it was work.  As often happens in projects like this, the machinery had an issue so the job is not complete.  However, you will be happy to know that those nasty oil spots in the garage - actually they were more like oil puddles - are almost gone.  I just need to get some sort of abrasive cleaner and use a bit of elbow grease and the floor will be ready for my new car (when I finally get one).

As I worked on the floor I remembered the time that you had heard that cat litter would soak up oil.  I'll never forget my surprise to find a cat-litter-covered floor and my mother standing at the kitchen door - ready to hand me a broom for my part of the project.

You liked to work - and you taught us to work.

You also liked to pray - and you taught us to pray.  I don't really like this photo but it speaks so loud as to who you were.  I remember when I told you not to cry because you were not pretty when you cried.  I guess it might be the same as when you prayed.

However - praying is the second reason that I have thought of you today - on the 2-month anniversary of your passing.

I've wondered if there's any way that you heard our words to you - that afternoon and evening - words of love and appreciation.  

Did you hear your fourth grandchild, Renee, quote Scripture and as I have said many times - pray her grandma into Heaven?  Renee's words remain in my heart and mind and continue to give me comfort.  "You have fought the fight; you have finished the course; there's a crowd of witnesses waiting on you.  You are leaving a wonderful legacy." (I do like that 2019 photo)

I have also remembered something similar when Renee and her husband, Wally, and their daughters were here in 2009 to tell daddy goodbye.  They were about to return to Tampa when Wally stood by daddy's bed and prayed for him. 

The memories of both of those times give me comfort!  

So on this Labor Day 2022, I am remembering you - both your strong work ethic and the prayer life that was so much a part of who you were.

Renee is correct - You left a great legacy.

 May your life have enough sunshine   

To make you appreciate the shadows