Not pretty when you cry

Dear Mother,

Most of the time I spend with you these days - you are sleeping.

I remember when I was a teenager  - you thought sleeping was a waste of time.

And now it seems like such a normal thing.  Wait, how can this be normal?

Where's the person who knows the answer before the question has come out of my mouth?

And are you dreaming?  Are you remembering?  

That's what I'm doing - I'm remembering

One thing I remember is when daddy and you were taking me to college in 1965,  You were giving me advice and I guess laying down some rules.  Daddy piped in - "don't call too often" and then you said, "just once a day".

And then it was my time to talk and I said: "Whatever you do - don't cry when we get to the campus -- I mean after all  You are just not pretty when you cry".

Right - no one is pretty when they cry.

Maybe that's why I don't cry easily.

I digress. 

So while you are sleeping - peacefully, I am being thankful that you are my mother.

You were a good daughter.  I remember when our family moved in with grandma and granddaddy because her health was preventing her from being a good minister's wife.  I know that when it was time for grandma to go from here to there (as granddaddy liked to call it) you were there for both of your parents and your sisters.  As I wrote that last sentence I realized I did the same thing.  When you couldn't care for daddy without assistance, you moved in with me.  Daddy went to heaven from a room in my home and now I'm the one who is telling my siblings what's going on with you.

Your sisters value you and have always looked up to you. Ellie and Pauline Nesmith raised you to love and care for others and there are countless people who could tell the story of something you (and daddy -  but with your urging) did for them. The visit by Carolyn, Ann and Beth today is an example of the love you all share.

Cindy, Jonathan, Lester, and I all agree - you have been a good mother.  You taught us to appreciate our faith.  You taught us the value of Romans 8:28.  

Even now as I am almost home-bound because I don't have a vehicle I am continually relying on the fact that I truly believe that all things work together for good.  That's because you lived it and taught us to do that as well.

As Grandma Honey, you have been a supportive and caring grandmother.  All four of your children can point to a time in our children's lives that you were there for them - taking them on trips, encouraging them in their studies, and in some cases protecting them from harm.

And of course, you were a wonderful wife to our daddy.  Even when you didn't agree with him you still called him honey.

Now, let's see have I left anyone out.  Oh yes - you have been a good friend.  We all remember women who were dear to you at different times in our lives.  If I start naming them Id be sure to leave someoneout. Almost five years ago your oldest friend Margaret Woodson came for a visit.   And you've been a good friend to our friends -- especially our mates.

So let's talk about the crying deal.

Only God knows when you will be going to heaven.  As the book of Job says "Our days are determined by the Lord" (Job 14:5).  But when that happens...

Go ahead and cry - when you see Uncle Rudolph, Grandma and Granddaddy, Rich, daddy, Blakelie,  and Jonathan.  Somehow I think you know he's there although you never mention him.

    Because the bottom line is this  You're pretty no matter what!                                                 

NOTE:  My method of processing emotion is through words.  While we have engaged Vitas Hospice to help us at this time because our mother has become very agitated, we all believe that her life is in God's hands.  She is has been returned to her room at Westminster Woods.

                            May your life have enough sunshine

                            To make you appreciate the shadows