Find your bliss

     Robert Reuben Drashin was born on this day - 74 years ago.    

    We met in the fourth grade.  One day I proudly brought home a flower he had given me at Hogan Spring Glen Elementary - the same flower that my mother and my little sister had seen him "steal" from our neighbor's yard that morning.  For the rest of our lives, he never came to my house without flowers.

     We walked home together every day in the fourth, fifth, and sixth grades, remained friends at Southside Jr. and Englewood.  I went to college in Tennessee and he went to the University of Georgia.  I lived away for many years and when I moved back to Jacksonville he and his wife, Etta,  welcomed me and my children even hosting a party for us.  At our 20th reunion, which was my first, he asked me if I was enjoying "my party".  

     When Rich Suhey died he quickly penned a note that said "anything you need. . ."

     Sometime in the early 2000's and he Etta divorced.  That was when he decided I needed more encouragement.  He kept telling me the same thing - "Paula Sue", he would say "You need to find your bliss".  In his mind, I would do that if I wrote more and if I attached a dollar sign to my words.

     I saw him occasionally and I knew he didn't take good care of himself.  He was overweight but loved dessert; had undergone several heart procedures and was a diabetic  However, I was totally shocked when our friend, Paul Hibel, texted to say that he had died - alone in a small apartment  He was a month shy of 69.

     At his mother's funeral some years earlier, Etta had told me about the Jewish custom of turning dirt when a person was being buried  The meaning behind the turning of the dirt - that's something we can do for the deceased that will not be repaid.  

     So at the end of his service, I took the shovel and turned dirt.  I was the only woman to do this.  I nearly fell into the grave but that's another story.  

      Now - why would I want to give him something?  He had been my friend, yes. And he encouraged me.

     I thought of that early this morning when I remembered that today was his birthday.  I absolutely do what he wanted - I interview and write, I teach and I enjoy so many dear friends.  I remembered a book he had given me. I think he might have been more interested in a different kind of friendship than I was. However, there were more differences between us than the fact that he was such an ardent Bulldog.  A handwritten note is on the first page :

"To get the full value of joy 

you have to have someone to divide it with"  Mark Twain.  

     So here's a message for you dear dear Bobby - I have found my bliss - and I get to divide it again and again.    Thanks!!!

 

May your life be filled with enough Sunshine 

to make you appreciate the Shadow

What will happen to the hawks?

When I moved to Paddle Creek 22 years ago this summer, the south side of Paddle Boat Lane was woods.

One morning there was a wild hog across the way.  I didn't know what to do so I called the police.

When the officer arrived, he was not particularly amused when I asked "what are we supposed to do?"

"Ma'am", he said, "you moved out here."

I'm sure he meant that I (and the other residents of Paddle Creek) had taken control of the land where wildlife had lived forever.

It wasn't too long after that before there were some houses being built in those woods directly across from me.  There's still a grassy knoll where cars of guests to our neighborhood can be parked, dogs walked and friends can visit at the mailbox.

And up until about a month ago, the street was still very quiet.

I returned home after a meeting recently.  It was not a silent night.  I could hear the rush of automobiles on San Jose Boulevard.  This is why:

 The woods that have kept the sound away, not to mention been a home for various animals are gone.

A condominium complex is going to be built.

I miss the woods.

When I walked down to take this photo, a neighbor met me with an alarmed look on his face.

"You know those hawks that we see flying all the time", he asked.

"They lived in one of the oaks that has now been cut down".  He was heartbroken.

I pondered his reaction as I walked back to my home.  I did what most people are doing these days.

I googled it.  Basically "they will go elsewhere".  They were blessed with the innate ability to care for themselves.  That reminded me of a portion of Scripture:  

"Behold the birds of the heaven, that they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; and your heavenly Father feedeth them. ' Matthew 6:26

Another neighbor is very concerned about our nation now that we are under a new administration.

So all three of us are worried.

That's not a good thing.  Age is enough reason for me to have wrinkles...no need to add worry.

And there's an answer for all three of us.

"Don't worry about tomorrow", Jesus implored us.  "For tomorrow will take care of itself".

By and by - all the animals that have been displaced will find a home; we will survive a new administration and according to my very smart builder brother, when the buildings have been completed,  the noise from San Jose will not be so bad.

Besides - I've had a lifetime of opportunities to practice what's in the "book" especially those verses from Matthew 6.  No need to stop that now.

May your life be filled with enough Sunshine 

to make you appreciate the Shadow

 

They were right

 I became the older sister - 70 years ago today,

My mother and daddy said I needed a playmate.  They said it would be fun. They said I would like it.

They both had sisters.  Mother had four; daddy had one.  They both had aunts they dearly loved.  Mother especially loved her Aunt Mattie Lou and wanted to name this baby Martha Louise in her honor.  Mother's middle name (Louise) had been chosen because my Grandma Nesmith thought her sister in law was such a wonderful woman.  I'm not sure which of daddy's aunts was especially dear to him.  I do know his sister Gloria Faye was the joy of his life.  He also did not want his child to have the name, Mattie Lou.  

And so it was that the baby was born on daddy's sister's birthday.  He won - the little girl's name would be Cynthia - Cynthia Faye.

I went to St. Luke's with daddy when it was time to bring the baby home from the hospital.  In those days the mother and baby rode home in an ambulance.  I got to ride.  That was the beginning of fun - I guess.

Now I was three and a half years old.  I was well settled in my position as the eldest.  I knew how to show that I was in charge.  I took a crayon and wrote on the back of the living room sofa.  

They said I would get used to sharing.  They said I was still important. 

Hum

70 years later.

I did get used to sharing.  We shared a bed and she could not stand it if my feet touched hers. 

When shared chores - she always washed the dishes and I dried because I always seemed to miss something when I was washing.

My mother told us how she shared clothes with her sisters when they were teenagers.  That didn't happen with us.  She got the tall gene.

We shared secrets.  No comment on that one.  We still do!

We share the joy of finding love - hers still lives!  She cried all the way down the aisle when I married the first time.  She stood with me again when I married Rich Suhey.  Neither of us has really ever truly gotten over that loss.  And I still so appreciate the boy from down the street that she married 48 years ago.  I never think of either one of them without the other.  In fact, I often think of the three of us as "the team".

We have shared joy - babies and grandbabies, houses to decorate, friends to celebrate.

We have shared sorrow - the loss of our daddy, her grandbaby, and now our brother.

We have shared concern - for our mother as she is now under full-time nursing care approaching her 98th birthday.

Don't you just hate it when someone keeps telling you that you are going to like something when you are not exactly sure that will be true?  And then you finally have to admit it.

Yep - I do like having a little sister!  They were right!

May your life be filled with enough Sunshine 

to make you appreciate the Shadow

Give it a REST

I'm not tired.

Haven't we all heard those words from a child who is afraid they will miss something so they don't want to go to sleep?

I've been guilty of that same attitude.

Sometimes I am asked, do you ever stop?  

The answer is simple - if I have an idea of something to do, or someone to see, or a project that must be done, my tendency is to find a way to do it and enjoy every minute of the experience.

Often, those experiences just seem to get dropped in my lap and I enjoy every minute of the fun!

However, as I continue to age (is that a new wrinkle or is my hair really this silver?), I'm realizing it is important to rest. (Please excuse  the top of my friend, Greg's head; Photoshop seems asleep today.)

I am an early riser.  I love watching the darkness turn to light.  There have been a couple of days recently that I did not open my eyes until the sun was shining (that's a secret; don't tell anyone.  My reputation is at stake).

I'm also known to put my pj's on before the sun has really set, but that's another story.

Recently I read a devotion about rest.  The writer said she had chosen the word "REST" as her word for the year.  She went on to say how hard she tried to make that word a part of her life.

Right - that defeated the purpose of claiming the word.  If you don't allow yourself to live into the word, it doesn't work.

As I thought about rest, my mind drifted back to a duet by June Smith and Bill Kindred when our choir at Glendale Community Church was presenting "No Greater Love".  I can almost hear them - "Come unto me, all ye that weary and I will give you rest." That memory gave me a sense of peace - and it made me want to rest!

In the middle of political and social unrest - I keep thinking that I wish people would

GIVE IT A REST

But I know that old saying "no rest for the weary" or is it the "wicked"?

No matter.  What matters is that at some point, we all have to rest - in our faith, in our family, in our friendships and know that all will be well - SOMEDAY

And now I'm not tired, I'm just going to REST MY EYES

May your life be filled with enough Sunshine 

to make you appreciate the Shadow