Not a Christmas letter

 "Does anyone send Christmas letters anymore?"

My brother, Lester, and I were remembering when people sent long detailed recaps of their year.  

Christmas letters have been replaced with social networking.  Most of us stay in contact with friends all year round so we don't need to send family news.

However, my laptop beckons me.  Except my plan for January 1 was to put away Christmas.

What to do?  I set the timer in my kitchen.  One hour putting Christmas away; one hour at the computer.

This is not a Christmas letter.  It's just me exercising my deep-seated desire to put my thoughts on a screen just in case someone wants to read them.

I have often said that I would love to live in a small town and get to know its people and write their stories.

My part-time position as the Volunteer Coordinator at the Mandarin Museum has provided me that opportunity.   

I've talked with several long-time Mandarinites.  Often one interview leads to another.  Bert Wasmund who had been a volunteer fireman in Mandarin years ago  suggested his best friend growing up who reluctantly agreed to the interview.  This man  said he really didn't have much to say.  I was mesmerized.  

 A year later that man and I are each other's best friend.

My children, my siblings and our mother are all well.  On December 18 we remembered what would have been daddy's 100th birthday.  He was a wonderful patriarch of our family.  Mother will be 99 in March.

In mid-summer, my children's dad, Ray Parker, passed away.  A strange as this seems a heavyweight of disappointment was lifted.  I really didn't realize that I was still carrying the hurt I experienced almost 40 years ago when our marriage ended.  I have appreciated the fact that our children continue to be thankful for the love, care, and spiritual guidance that our family was offered all those years ago.

I recently have thought that I should have chosen Philippians 3:13 for my special verse in 2021. "  But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind . . ."

I actually had some counseling that helped me get to the place where I really did leave all the baggage "at the foot of the cross" as a friend often says.

While I so enjoyed the women's Bible study that I have facilitated since 2016, I knew it was time to give that a rest.  I hope instead to do some one-on-one discipleship.  We'll see how that materializes.

One of the best things that happened in my family this past year (and yet one of the most difficult at the same time) was that Renee and Wally have moved to Nashville.  I'm so happy that she has an opportunity to serve in the pre-school ministry in a large church there.  'Tampa was just so much closer.

I said I should have chosen Philippians 3:13  as my verse in 2021.  Of course, I didn't know what lay ahead a year ago.  Neither do I know what is ahead in 2022.  However, I can say that the next part of that portion of scripture will work well for me  

"I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

I'm excited about what that might mean in my life. I hope it means more words on a page - and I think my friend can help with that.  He knows a lot of people who live in Mandarin (and have lived here a long time).

But first, the timer has gone off and those Christmas decorations are not going to put themselves away.

May your life have enough sunshine

to make you  appreciate the shadows

"In the bleak mid-winter"

 It was our last Christmas as a traditional family.

 We lived in Louisville, Kentucky.  

Life was beginning to be difficult.  I look back on that time and think "it was a bleak mid-winter".

However, we did something we had never done before - and I have continued to appreciate it for the 39 years since then.

We went to church.  Now, you are probably thinking of course you went to church.  You were married to a Baptist minister.  Well.  We didn't just go to church.  

We went to Midnight Mass at the Christ Church Cathedral (Episcopal).

I loved the procession.

I was not well educated with some of the traditions of the Episcopal Church, but I did enjoy participating in the service.

The next day my children enjoyed snow and the presents they were given.  It seems like maybe they didn't get very many presents.  I don't think they were aware of that and I'm not even sure if any of them remember the snow or the church service.

They do know that going to church on Christmas Eve stayed important to me.

And they know that I will so appreciate the opportunity I have tonight, not only to go to church but to be a part of the procession as I am one of the persons who will serve communion alongside our priests.  Who would have thought - 40 years ago tonight - that I would be doing that?

I've been thinking about my life - these past 40 years - reflecting on how I got from there to here.  And truly being grateful for the blessing of God on my life (and the lives of my children)  through so many people.

Christina Rosetti's poem (the source of the title of this blog) is most likely not historically accurate.  Scholars tell us that Jesus was not necessarily born when snow covered the ground.  However, the poem ends with words that resonate with me - "what can I give Him - give Him my heart".

Or being interpreted.

Tonight as I process, singing "O Come All Ye Faithful", I will be expressing the prayer of my heart - one of gratitude for all the blessings on our lives since that bleak mid-winter 40 years ago.

                                            May your life have enough sunshine

                                            to make your appreciate the shadows

What's love got to do with it?

 I'm confused. . .

Truth be told I'm always just a tad confused.  My excuse is that I am creative and I need that part of my personality to make it work.

What am I confused about now?

For years I have enjoyed Advent.  I love the lighting of the candles on an Advent wreath that's a part of worship services on the four Sundays that precede Christmas.  I usually write a blog each week during Advent.  This year has been no exception.  And I have an Advent wreath in my home.

My confusion is that I thought this week was the week that we light the candle of love.  As I researched, thought, and prayed about what to write the word I found was PEACE.  Humph.  I wrote on Peace two weeks ago.

So ... here are my thoughts on LOVE.

It plays a vital role in the Christmas story.  Because of Joseph's love for Mary, he didn't stone (nor did he shun)  his betrothed when he learned that she was going to have a child (Matthew 1:18-19).  

Mary had a natural motherly love for Jesus as she carried Him in her womb.  I loved that way Max Lucado said it:  "Mary loaned her womb so that the Son of God could be born to walk among us and later die on the cross for our sins".  But I am getting ahead of my story.

Jesus focused His preaching on love throughout His ministry.  " You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 'This is the greatest and first commandments.  And a second is like it.  'You shall love your neighbor as yourself" (Matthew 22;37-39). 

And I believe love is the greatest of all the virtues that the Advent candles represent.  Love encompasses Jesus' entire purpose for being on earth.  

And as Sally told Charlie Brown  "That's what Christmas is all about".

I've been thinking of some expressions of love that I know of - some that happened at Christmas.  Our daddy gave our mother her engagement ring a week before Christmas in 1941.  That was 80 years ago.  Their love for God each other and their children remains dear to me.

When my children and I were in the early years of being a single-parent family my son raked leaves so he could purchase a used (would you believe a mid-forties device?) waffle iron for me.  Later he found a train for my home. That was something I had wanted when he was a little boy but never found the funds to make that purchase.   

And then there's the story of the Gift of the Magi.  You know the one by O. Henry when the young bride sold her hair to buy a chain for her husband's watch who sold his watch to buy clips for her hair.  Each sold the most valuable thing he owned in order to buy a gift for the other.

What's love got to do with it?

Everything!

"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son" 

May your life have enough sunshine

so that  you will appreciate the shadows 

No greater joy

It is the third Sunday of Advent.  We light the candle of Joy.

Several years ago the Wonder Women's Bible Study that I facilitate did a Max Lucado story on finding JOY.  Each week much to their chagrin I insisted that we sing a little chorus “Rejoice in the Lord always” in rounds.

Earlier today I wrote, "I think the Joy candle is my favorite".

I've spent several hours trying to figure where that came from.

There have been some Christmas seasons when I had much joy.  In 1971 I had a newborn baby girl.  Barbara Streisand's song The Best Gift was perfect.  She really was (and continues to be) my best gift (well at least the first of three).

Then there was the year that I had very little joy.  1982 was the year that we became a single-parent family.  I made an effort to keep life as close to normal as possible so Sunday School was a priority.  Renee and Tray both boldly asked God for bicycles as they sat in a Sunday School class.  The arrival of two used bikes at our family home on Christmas Eve was met with tears of joy from a mother who was trying to figure all of this out.  And of course, Renee and Tray were overjoyed when they found a clue that led them to the bicycles that were awaiting them the next morning. 

Later the three of them learned the song “Rejoice in the Lord”.  With Becca accompanying them Renee and Tray sang “rejoice in the Lord, He makes no mistake he knoweth the way of each path that I take and when I am tried and purified I shall come forth as gold.”

This past summer their father passed away.  Did we rejoice?  No, of course not.  But we can all agree that God knew our path and while we may not be gold we believe that God has given us reasons for joy.

Those three gifts - remain my greatest source of joy (III John 4).

I'm sure I'm not alone in this statement - sometimes it's difficult to find joy.  

I have wonderful memories of a sweet couple, Jimmy and Geraldine Winburn, who worked with us in a small church in Chattanooga in the mid-'70s.  One of my fondest memories is of a sermon Jimmy preached from the book of James.  He reminded us that we are to count it all joy when difficulty comes our way.

He said that's what makes us Christ-like.

Jimmy passed away a few years ago after struggling with Alzheimer's.  I believe his sweet wife would say that she counts it all joy for the life that they shared.  

HUM

I don't always practice that.

I do know life is better when I make an effort to share.  Sometimes it does take effort.  It's not always easy to go to visit my mother who is sometimes clear and others quite confused.  But she always smiles!  I give her joy.  My garage is going to house a vehicle while my aunt and uncle take a trip.  My aunt thanked me for the gift.  I give her joy.   

JOY is the key to a  happy life!  "Joy to the world - joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea - Joy to you and me!"

The P'S of Christmas

I love the Christmas season.  From the music to the decorations to the traditional food and fellowship. And I love remembering Christmases PAST  I found this photo recently. My grandma Nesmith was great at arranging flowers.  Much of my childhood Christmases included my grandparents.  And of course Church - and Christmas PAGEANTS - as a participant then a parent and a grandparent. This week I'm a narrator in our church's Live Nativity.  I obviously still love pageants.

And I love Advent. I was first introduced to the celebration of the coming of Christ on the four Sundays prior to the time that we celebrate His birth when my children and I were members of the Nazarene Church.  I always looked forward to the lighting of the Advent candle by a family.  

I also thought the Worship Committee should think outside the traditional family box and ask a single mother and her children to light the candle.  But I'm not bitter.  I guess that calls for rePENTANCE.

Today is the second Sunday of Advent.   For years I have known the second candle of Advent to be the Candle of PEACE  However, I have read several discussions that referred to it as the Candle of Faith.  I've also read it as the Candle of Bethlehem. That works - because it had been prophesied the Saviour would be born in the city of David (which is Bethelem). And once we put our faith in the child who was born in Bethlehem, then we can have peace. So I guess it really doesn't matter if it's Faith, Bethlehem or Peace.  The important thing is remembering that we are celebrating the birth  - of that person - the Son of God - who grew up to be our Savior.   

There have been many Christmases that I had no peace.  And this is coming from a person who has had faith in Christ since I was a six-year-old.  In fact, it was at Christmas time that I made a PROFESSION of faith.

If you read back through these paragraphs I hope you will see a recurring theme -- lots of P's - which - is why I called it the P's (peace) of Christmas.  And of course, it's written by the woman that my nieces and nephews call Aunt P.

All of my Christmases PAST don't make me smile.  There have been many that I had no peace.  However, the best thing I can tell you is that today I have the "peace that passes understanding" and I am most grateful to be able to PROCLAIM that!

PS It's from Philippians (4:6)  just had to find one more P.

                                May your life be filled with enough sunshine

                                  to make you appreciate the shadows

Perpetual Hope

 Time to light the candle of Hope.

That concept has great meaning in my life.  

*More than 20 years ago I loved participating in the Hope Fund. I wrote a story about a woman whose life had become very difficult because she was a victim of MS.  The story (which was published in the Florida Times-Union that year)  was a part of my final communications class before I got my degree from UNF.

*About 15 years ago when my granddaughter Allie was in the early diagnosis of  ITP (an auto-immune disorder where her blood does not make enough platelets), my daughter and her husband founded Clouds of Hope.  Eventually, that organization provided funds for several playgrounds with safe equipment to be built in the Tampa area.  

*And then there was . . .  “You give me hope”

I don’t know when words like that have touched me so greatly.  My friend has experienced a great loss.  One of my "gifts" is walking alongside someone who has had that kind of experience and helping them as they find hope. 

The timing for those words was important because I was just putting together my Advent wreath and when I was already thinking so much about hope as I prepared for our Wonder Women Bible Study that would focus on  Advent.

 I had read these words in one of the studies that I am using:

 “This is Christmas.  The season of perpetual hope”.  That’s actually a quote from the holiday movie Home Alone.   I actually never have seen that movie.  Love Actually is more my type.  I can't tell you the number of times I've seen that one.

 I digress.

Webster says that hope is a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen; a person or thing that might help or save someone.

That feeling of expectation and desire is a good way to feel.  Sometimes when we are feeling that way we get a little impatient.  But it is important to understand that hope is about promise.  In a time long ago, young women had something called a hope chest.  A cedar chest, lined with fragranced linens would hold items a bride would need to begin life as a wife.  I doubt any of us know anyone who still has a hope chest.

However, that concept – preparing for the future is one that is worthy of its inclusion in our lives.

The hope candle is also known as the prophecy candle.  The scripture that tells the story of God’s promise to Abram is prophecy.  God was promising what was to become.  And we know that promise did come true.  There is a great nation, the nation of Israel, and into that nation was born a Savior.

The Bible contains numerous verses that focus on hope – it’s the evidence of things not seen; Christ is our hope; God promises us a hope and a future.  (Hebrews 11:1;  Colossians 1:27; Jeremiah 29:11).

Hope is more than expectation. 

It is trust – and that trust should be in God. 

I heard recently that the greatest cause for suicide is when a person has lost hope.  Sad? Yes.  And in truth, we cannot live without hope.  But we have hope and that hope is an anchor firm and secure (Hebrews 6:19) that we can claim as our own.

I am thrilled to be a person who offers hope.  I know, however, that I can only offer it because I have hope – that is trust – in the same God who promised Abram that he would be the Father of a great nation. And that nation is the one from whom Jesus would be born.  

Another favorite movie of mine is “The Sound of Music”.  When the captain and Maria have their realization moment in the gazebo and Maria is asked about her feelings, her answer goes from “I hope so” to “I know so”.

That’s what hope is supposed to do for us.  After waiting in expectation, when the fulfillment of our hopes or dreams comes to pass. . .”  then we know!

Thanks be to God for His great gift!

May your life have enough sunshine

so that  you will appreciate the shadows 

So . . .you like red???

You might call it a rite of passage.  That sort of thing usually happens before one is 74 years of age.

I'm happily sporting a new jacket.

The fun part of the jacket is that it was a dress, a hand-me-down from my friend,  Jean Gilmore.  It's a heavy wool jacket and when it was a dress I may not have been able to wear it more than once so I was delighted when the idea to have it repurposed came into my head.

It's a jacket, not a full-length coat.  It's wool, not suede.

And yet it reminds me of the time that I was headed to college in Tennessee and my mother purchased me a beautiful suede coat.  It was red.

I hated it!

Fast forward many years.

My mother doesn't like the color red.  And what she really doesn't like (or didn't when she was quick to give an opinion) is when I wear red.

How does that happen?  How does "I don't like that" when a person is a child or young adult become something that is a favorite in later years.  And did I not like that suede coat that I took to college as a form of rebellion?  

I've only recently identified that to be a possibility.

For the longest time, I cringed when I felt that my mother was being critical of me when I was wearing red.  Somehow she has begun to feel that red is an angry color.  And she never wanted me to look angry.  Truth be told she really never wanted me to act angry, but that's a different story.

There was a time, really not so long ago, when I would shy away from wearing red when I was going to see my mother.  However, I've finally determined that my mother and I do not have to agree on everything in order to have a good relationship.  Mothers and daughters are allowed to have different tastes and even ideals.

I've been a mother of a daughter for almost 50 years.  We do not agree on everything.  Fortunately for both Becca and her sister, Renee I learned that earlier.  I believe that it is totally acceptable for them not to think just like me.  In fact, I celebrate it.    

I'm pretty sure I'll wear my red jacket when I visit my mother soon. I'll let you know what she says.