Is the flag up?

My parents hadn't lived with me very long before there was a flag post in my yard - proudly holding a flag that had flown in Iraq, where my nephew Brad Williams was serving our country as a member of the Army National Guard.  Daddy had instilled a strong sense of patriotism and service in the lives of Brad, his twin brother, Chad, and my son, Tray.  He was so proud of all three!

Daddy had served in the Philippines in World War II.  My sister, Cindy, and I knew very little about his service there.  We knew he was the first "boy" from South Jacksonville to enlist - just a few days after December 7, 1941, and two weeks before he gave mother an engagement ring. He was off to Shreveport, Louisiana, before she graduated from Landon High School and wrote her when he got promoted to sergeant in mid-June.  He told her to plan a wedding.  She was all for that!  They were married just 7 weeks, still honeymooning in Shreveport, when he got on a train headed west and her train was on the way to Jacksonville.  The next time they saw each other was in December 1945.  

We did know about mother's brother, Ellie Rudolph Nesmith who was killed over Germany in 1944.  He had been one of daddy's closest friends, and his picture was on the piano at my grandparents' home for much of my growing-up years.  There was also a room called "The Prayer Room" at  Glendale Community Church that was a memorial to the only son of my grandparents.  And I've often wondered if that loss contributed to the wonderful care they gave to others.

As the years passed and two little brothers came into our family, daddy seemed to talk more about his life as a soldier. He was of the old school, and you didn't talk to your little girls about that.

We were grown with families of our own when he started hearing about some squadron reunions. That became very important to our parents, and they so enjoyed the times they shared with his old friends. Once, it was in Jacksonville, and our whole family participated in welcoming this group.  We loved it!!!

By 2005, when my mother and dad moved in with me, daddy's patriotism had become one of the most important parts of his life. At first, he made sure the flag was up at daybreak and took it down at sunset. And then there came a time when the "chore" became mine.

One thing I heard almost every morning in the summer of 2009 was, "Is the flag up?".

After daddy died, I began to take flowers to Greenlawn Cemetery at least four times a year.  Our family plot has grown.  This year, we added Uncle Bill Weitzel, and when the marker arrives, we will add Uncle Howard Beardslee. Daddy's brother, Ted Huffingham, Jr. is buried close by. They all served - as did Uncle Henry Capp.  And Rich Suhey served - he's buried in our family plot (my name is already on the marker).

I have a flag that stays up all the time now  (not to worry, I have an outdoor light that is always on).

That way, each morning when I start my day, I know that daddy would be pleased.  

Yes, daddy, the flag is up.  And tell mother I've added a birdhouse - you all would have loved watching for birds to come for a treat!

May you have enough sunshine in your life,  to make you appreciate the shadows

I hope they dance!

 It gets me every time.

No matter how many times I hear the strains of "Pomp and Circumstance," my eyes well with tears.

And just like that, I now have five grandchildren who have finished high school. One is a teacher, and four are in college—two seniors, a junior, and a freshman. The remaining two will be juniors in high school in just a few days! They do grow up. As a friend mentioned to me recently, " We no longer have littles."

I so appreciated the remarks of St. Johns County Superintendent of Schools, Tim Forson, who began by defining hope—a feeling of expectation and desire for certain things to happen." Hope is a positive word. It's the antithesis of fear, which, unfortunately, often takes precedence over hope.

When I graduated from high school, I hoped I would not get too homesick when I went away to college. So did my mother: " Don't call too often, just once a day." I hoped I would make good grades and make new friends. I hoped to find a nice preacher boy, marry him, and follow my dream of being a pastor's wife.

The word fear never entered my mind.

Fast-forward almost 60 years. We live in a different world. 

We walked through a metal detector as we entered the UNF gym, and my handbag was measured. However, there were some positive differences. My favorite part of the Bartram Trail Graduation was watching the graduating members of the sign language class sign the National Anthem, the Pledge of Allegiance, and the Bartram Trail Alma Mater.  No one would have ever thought that language requirements could include sign language.

Something else was a bit different. No one prayed. I did have the privilege of going to the Yulee High School Baccalaureate, where prayer, words of Scripture, and a "rose ceremony" were included.  I watched as graduate after graduate took a rose to one particular teacher. He must have ended the night with 20 roses.  As I watched, the word hope came to my mind. I believe he offered those students hope.

I have four special graduates this year—a granddaughter, the grandson of my best friend, and two "church" kids I've watched grow up. My niece also graduated from college.

I hope they dream, that their hearts are given opportunities to love, and, most of all, that they always know that God has a plan for their lives.

And finally, I hope that they will always "give a reason for the Hope that is within them" (I Peter 3:15).

In other words, I hope they know who they are as Christians and as their parents' children. I hope they know they are loved by God and their parents, grandparents, and family members. And I hope they will share that love with others.

And of course, I hope they dance!

May you have enough sunshine in your life,  to make you appreciate the shadows

Do we have a model???

I love it when one thought, word, song, Bible verse, or sermon opens my brain to another thought word and the necessity for me to share those thoughts through words.

The choir anthem at the Mandarin Presbyterian Church on May 19 and  Pastor Andrew's message did that for me. First, it was a song, then the words in the message - and they shared a commonality -- the root word was FAITH.

As the music began, I knew it was a familiar song. I had not looked at the bulletin, so I really didn't know.

" We're pilgrims on the journey of the narrow road, and those who've gone before us line the way." They began.

Suddenly, it was as if I could see my daddy sitting on the front pew of the church, nodding his head in agreement as the choir continued to sing "Find Us Faithful" by Steve Green (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4c3yau5gASM).  

Daddy wanted his legacy to be that he had faith in God and that he was faithful.

The past few days I have had the privilege of spending time with my children and five of my grandchildren. As I listened to them talk to each other - about Christian groups that they are in, their dreams and goals, and life's ups and downs, I thought they had become what their grandparents modeled for them.

Daddy's favorite song was "Living by Faith." (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PwJfwYMuZEQ) He taught us that - by example. One of the things he knew how to do was "take money from Peter to pay Paul", and I heard one of my children describe how that's one way they have found success in educating their children.

Our parents loved another hymn, "Great is thy Faithfulness." I also love that hymn, although it's difficult to choose between it and "It is well with my soul " when I am asked my favorite.

I do know that my favorite verse from Scripture is I Thessalonians 5:24

"The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it" (NIV).

Every time I have experienced what I consider failure - from failing an Old Testament quiz as a freshman at Bryan College  (I know - a preacher's grandchild "failed a Bible quiz?"), I go back to that verse and am reminded that God is faithful! - trusting Him, I start anew.    I made an A in Old Testament that semester - Ray Parker helped me). 

Pastor Stepp's sermon included Scripture from the Book of Hebrews (chapter 10; verses 23-25).    spoke of the way being in community is helpful - that we should be thinking of others and I clearly heard his words as he read verse 24 (he is faithful, as he promised). 

So that took my thoughts again to daddy - and his love for others - the way he practiced his faith.

I was with one of my granddaughters, who looked especially cute, and I asked her if she remembered what her great-granddaddy would say to her if he saw her.

He would touch her nose and say, "Where did you get that cute little nose?"

Of course, he would have known that she inherited that cute little nose from her mother - So we know where she got that.

And as I look at myself, my children, my grandchildren—and the rest of our family—I ask the question: Where did we get "who we are"? Do we have a model? Did someone teach us to have the faith in God that we possess?

Some have called him Earl the Pearl and her Iva Lou. The people at the Mandarin Presbyterian Church called them the mayor and Mrs. Iva.   Becca, Chad, Brad, Renee, Tray, Leslie, Nathan, Lacie, Ted, Dan, and Meg call them granddaddy and grandma, and their four children call them daddy and mother or mama.

And all who knew them "found them faithful."

No better role models!!! 

   May you have enough sunshine in your life, 

             to make you appreciate the shadows

Granddaddy had a Mansion

Ellie Wallace Nesmith was born on Wednesday, May 12, 1897, in Nesmith, Williamsburg County, SC, to his parents, Solon Thomas Nesmith (1866-1947) and Annie Gertrude (Gamble) Nesmith (1870-1911).

That would be 117 years ago. He had five sisters (Etta, Alva, Gerdette, Gertrude, and Mattie Lou) and one brother, Solon. He finished 8th grade and then was needed to help his father with the farm. His mother died when he was 14 and his father remarried Rosa Smith. She had a relative who was married to Florence Mercer and one day when Florence's sister, Paulin,e was caring for Florence's eldest child, Benji - Ellie first laid eyes on Pauline.

They were married on the first day of January 1921. The marriage resulted in the birth of six children - Rudoph, Iva, Thelma, Carolyn, Ann, and Beth.

When Ellie was 50 years old, I was born to Iva.

We often celebrated granddaddy's birthday on Mother's Day, so in addition to having a great appreciation and love for my mother and both of my grandmothers (Lonnie Jones Huffingham/Walker and Pauline Mercer Nesmith), I also honor my grandfather - the Rev. Ellie Wallace Nesmith.

Granddaddy accepted Christ as a young man and first heard the "call" to preach in his early 20s.   My grandparents helped organize Glendale Community Church in 1936. He was ordained in 1945 and became the pastor of the church. He held that role until he retired in 1963.

One of my earliest memories is copying what I had observed at a Sunday service when I stood on a chair, shook my finger, and said: "Sinner you need to repent".  I don't really remember Granddaddy ever doing that, however. 

In 1992 as we celebrated his 95th birthday, we put together a book about his life. - Granddaddy Had a Mansion and You Can Have One Too.

My son, Tray, often remarked about his great-grandfather's longevity and the strong faith that was a major part of granddaddy’s life.

"I bet great-granddaddy is going to have a huge mansion in Heaven", he said. When asked why,  his remark was that it was taking God a long time to build it. (John 14). 

Granddaddy went to see that mansion 30 years ago. I believe many people in Heaven (and still on earth) who understood the "you can have one too"  and trusted Christ.

I remember him lifting his hands for the opening prayer in our worship services, his preaching, and the many times he called on the sick and grieving. Sometimes my sister, Cindy, and I got to ride with him.

Once he saw me be rude to another child  I'll never forget how I felt when I realized he had seen me!

Granddaddy was kind, but not demonstrative with his affection.  However, when my marriage was ending, although he certainly did not believe in divorce, he was very supportive.  

My dearest time with him was when he invited me to share the bench between our house and his.  

"Sister, your mother has been sharing some of your writing...but I have noticed something -- you are not signing your work."  

"Someday", he continued, "you will have grandchildren who will read some of your stories and be glad to know you wrote them". 

I now have many binders filled with my words that will give my grandchildren insight into their heritage.

A heritage that I am happy to share with them. 

May you have enough sunshine in your life,

 to make you appreciate the shadows

Is it fun???

The doctor confirmed my suspicions.

I was going to have a baby.

"Is it fun?", I asked.

As I remember that day, I can only think - "you are strange, Paula -- strange".

The doctor's response has stayed with me all these years - "it's exciting".

That experience was 53 years ago today.  (I know - strange that I can remember the date). And there were three more times when I heard "you are going to have a baby". Sometimes I heard those words with great joy - that was when Renee would be born. The other times I heard them with less enthusiasm...however.

If you know me - you may be wondering - four times. Yep, the second time resulted in a miscarriage - a sad experience, but one that taught me how to minister to others when that happened.

In late 1976 the doctor once more confirmed my suspicions = yep Beca and Renee were going to have a sibling. This time the baby was a boy. 

And we were a family of five...until the summer of 1982 when we became a family of four. Forty-two years later we are a family of 14. And I can answer my question - "Is it fun?"

Most of the time.

Would I do it again?

Absolutely.

I don't know that I intentionally wanted to be a "fun" mother.  I do know I loved helping them learn and watching them grow. I loved the sports and musical experiences I got to attend. I loved seeing them make their grandparents smile.

And now that they are grown, I love sharing time with them - and listening to them - and watching them parent.

Which brings me back to fun...It is so much fun to be a grandmother!

"Children are a gift from the Lord" Psalm 127:3 a

May you have enough sunshine in your life,

 to make you appreciate the shadows

Swill, Swirl and the Epistles

Everyone I know . . .atleast most everyone. . . Knows this about me: 

 "I love the swill and swirl as words untangle emotions"

Our mother loved them too.  I have many examples of that.

In about 2010,  mother put her thoughts into words regarding how she felt about being the recipient of care.  I’ve been looking for those but alas they remain on the missing list.  I do know she had a difficult time adapting to being the one who was cared for – especially when the person doing the caring was her first-born child.

In my quest for those words, I’ve come upon many other examples of words – hers, mine, and others.  That’s because my May project is to clean out and reorganize my files.

And in doing so I’ve found lots of words…in notes and letters.

I have notes from my high school sweetheart and letters from two uncles (Ted and Bill) that I received when Ray Parker chose to live a life without me and our children.  I have a note that my son wrote defending the upset that his elder sister was experiencing before she went to college and one that she wrote when she had fallen in love. I have lots of thank you notes from both of my parents and I have a letter I wrote to my children, on Mother’s Day, 1995. 

I am so glad that I kept all of those letters.  Although I have no idea what my children will do with them when it’s their turn to go through mom’s files.  The files will hopefully be somewhat organized.

I recently finished an inspirational experience with a large group at the Mandarin Presbyterian Church. We read the Bible from Genesis to Revelation in 100 days.

And my favorite part??? The Epistles – because they are simply put – letters. They have a greeting, words of appreciation – words of encouragement (as well as reprimand and correction) and then they end with words of thankfulness.  Of course, those books are my favorite - I love letters.

For our mother’s birthday one year, I gave her a scrapbook filled with notes from family and friends. 

That was 19 years ago. However, I have hopefully followed her example and when I think of someone who needs encouragement, I like to send a note.

This is not hard for me – because I love thoughts that turn into words and sentences and paragraphs.  And as much as I enjoy writing, I also really like to read which is why I am giving myself the month of May to complete this arduous project.

"Let the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart (that end up on the computer screen), be acceptable to you, O Lord, my strength and my redeemer". Psalm 19:14.

May you have enough sunshine in your life,

 to make you appreciate the shadows