Our Patriotic Patriarch

 Memorial Day is a pretty special day.

      Earl Huffingham was very patriotic. He was the first young man from their community to enlist after Pearl Harbor and was in the Pacific for 43 months. He was in the Army Air Corps. That meant he was a little bit army and a little bit air force. The photo to the right is of one of the few lasting mementos of daddy's life during World War II. The American flag sits atop a base that holds a uniform patch.  The words: "38th Air Engineering Squadron - WT Maintyun".  I have no idea what that means but  I can tell you that he never lost that keen spirit of patriotism and our family and friends have agreed that he really was a part of what Tom Brokaw said was "The Greatest Generation". And in the early '90's our family hosted his squadron for a reunion.  Daddy loved it and so did we!!!

   Even at the end of his life, daddy always wanted to be sure that mother or I had put the flag out - especially on a day like Memorial Day.  Now my flag is always out - even at night- with a light shining on it.

   I went to the World War II Memorial in Washington DC in 2005 and when I returned home, daddy was really filled with questions. I remember that he said if he ever got a chance to go, he was going.

   So, when he read about the Orange Park Rotary-sponsored trip for World War II veterans, he wasted no time at all checking it out. His trip would be paid for. He just needed to have a "chaperone".

   My son, Tray, who is daddy's #3 grandson, was all over that. He would love to go. He has inherited a lot of that same patriotic spirit that was a big part of daddy's life. Chad and Brad (grandsons #1 and 2 respectively) also share that spirit and all three of them have spent time serving our country.

    Daddy was so excited as they planned their trip. He supposed he might be the oldest person traveling (he wasn't) and was peeved as he waited for Tray to arrive for the ride to Orange Park High School. My mother and I rode over for the pre-trip meeting and were there as they boarded the buses headed to JIA.

     When they arrived in DC, they were surprised when Chad and Brad arrived. Daddy was thrilled. All of his "soldier boys" were with him to honor him and his comrades. It truly was a day that none of them would forget.

     Tray called me several times during the day to give me a report. He would start to tell me something and get choked up. He would say, "I'll have to tell you that in a minute, mom". It would be when they got home that night, daddy a whipped puppy, but with a beaming smile, before Tray could tell me what he had been trying to say all day.

   "Here granddaddy was in a wheelchair", he said. "And every time a band would strike up that song - you know the one that features all the branches of the service...when they got to granddaddy's part, he stood up".

   I didn't see this happen and yet I know exactly how it must have been. I can just see him. I know about the effort involved and the importance of this experience.  That was 15 years ago.  This is our 14th year celebrating Memorial Day without our patriotic patriarch. The flag is flying and we have no doubt about what daddy would do when he heard this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zudFEvTj9H0.

May you have enough sunshine in your life

To make you appreciate the shadows

Not what I wanted to read. . .

I heard the sound indicating a text.

It was from my friend Tamra.

Oh good I thought - she's texting to plan a time for breakfast.  It had been way too long since our last visit.

I have read that a person usually has five close friends in their life.  I have several groups of friends...people I have met through church or work or through some shared interest.  Some time ago I determined that I have one special group.  I call them "my group of five" and  I am proud and blessed to say that Tamra is one of my five!

"Pray for Brian,  He's been admitted. . .", and then a few words about what was going on with her sweet husband.

"Oh my, 🙏🙏🙏".

We stayed in touch every day that week.  I wore a prayer bracelet that Tamra gave me when I was going through a sad time in my life.  On Wednesday he was a little better - baby steps she said.  And then on Thursday morning  - "so many things are wrong.  He's now critical". And around 8:30 that night "Brian passed a little past eight".

I have met Brian only a few times but I feel that I know him well.

That's because I know his wife very well.   

Tamra and I became friends when we were both in an Administrative Professionals Group. She's that person who I always know it's okay to be silly with.  And silly we were.  We had way too much time in that group -  just being goofy.

We've been friends through the births of grandbabies, the death of parents, and changing jobs (hers, mine, and even Brian's).  When her son, David married Olivia I had the honor of sitting next to her at their reception.  When David and Olivia's children were born, I shared her joy.

This week I sat in the congregation listening as their pastor, two of Brian's closest friends and David told fun and dear stories about him.

I'm sad.  Sad for Tamra, David and Olivia, and their precious children.   And I feel a great sense of personal loss.

But I'm glad.

I'm glad that if for no other reason, I had the privilege of knowing Brian.  There were tears on my cheeks as the photos flashed across the screen. I wasn't there when those pictures were taken, but I have heard the stories of the way Brian loved - Tamra and their family. I felt a deep sense of gratitude. 

As I reflected on David's words: sorrow, love, anger - and back again, I thought of how the Brian I knew (through Tamra and the words of those who spoke), practiced exhibiting the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). He loved.  He was a man of peace.  He was kind and good and gentle.

And he would want his life (as the obituary read) "to inspire those he has left to live life in a way that is defined by laughter, love, loyalty, and kindness.

So the text didn't say what I hoped it would.

But there will be other times for Tamra and I to get together. And I will love to hear more about Brian's life and legacy                                               

                                                May your life have enough sunshine,        

                                                To make you appreciate the shadows

Is that in the Bible???

When our mother's life on earth ended around 9 PM on Tuesday, July 5, 2022, we had not the first doubt in our minds.

She had gone from "here to there" as Granddaddy Nesmith called the death of a saint.  Renee had spoken words like you have fought the fight; you have kept the faith and - "Grandma it's time to go". And she is now "dwelling in the house of the Lord".  And we knew exactly what to have inscribed on her marker "Absent from the body; Present with the Lord" (and, of course, daddy).

As Cindy, Lester and I reflect on our mother's life - on this our first Mother's Day without her we are all remembering what she taught us. 

Iva Louise Nesmith Huffingham was an incredible woman with a deep faith and an abiding love for our daddy and the family they made together.  She created an atmosphere of love and acceptance. We knew what was important - God, daddy, us and extended family, and then the myriad of friends - hers and ours - that continued to gain a piece of her heart - right up until the end.

Cindy said she taught us to love - even when it is sometimes not easy.  Jonathan is not here to tell us what might have been important to him but I think it's pretty close to what Cindy said. . . 

We think Jonathan would say -  unconditional love!

Lester said she taught him the value of faith and that "all things work together for good. . .", (Romans 8:28).

If we heard that verse one time. . . 

More than once I asked, 

"Where is that in the Bible?"  

Writing this has been a challenge.  I believe it's because it's our first Mother's Day without her. 

Most people know I am very vain about my hair.  Growing up. I would get bent out of shape when it wouldn't do what I wanted it to do.

My mother taught me to put the hairbrush down - to walk away - to find something else to do -- maybe even wipe the sink of the strands of hair that could so easily clog the drain.

Hum - "Is that in the Bible?"

Well "not being vain" certainly is there as is patience - and "a woman's hair is her crowing glory".

Okay to be sure that I was giving due diligence to my last statement, I did the research and found Ecclesiastes 1:2, Psalm 37:7, and several verses that imply what I said about a woman's hair. (for instance,  I Corinthians 11:15 and Proverbs 16:31).

But back to what this might have taught me - about writing this blog.

It has taken me three days.  I have written it over and again.  I have obviously put it down - found another project and come back to it. My mother taught me to wait for the right time!!!

So, the four of us have learned to wait, love, accept, and to know that "all things work together for good". At least that's what she taught us!

                                                May your life have enough sunshine,             

                                                To make you appreciate the shadows