Three score and 10

It used to be that people would live to be "three score and 10".  That's 70.

Rich Suhey was 21 years shy of that when he died.

Some of the things that Rich and I "acquired" during our life together mean so much to me. I especially loved the wind chimes we purchased on our trip to Myrtle Beach the summer before he passed.  I will always remember how long it took Rich to decide which ones to buy.  He was such a perfectionist.

I'm not that careful.  I brought the wind chimes to this house, but I left them on the deck.  They got wet.  When my brother hung them, they dropped to the floor and broke. I left the broken pieces on the deck.  I didn't realize that someone found them and ....

I wrote this 20 years ago this morning.

Daddy,

  

It is early morning.  The sky is gray.  No TU is yet on the driveway. I have enjoyed my first cup of coffee and am at my desk.  Today would have been Rich's 50th birthday. We had thought we might go to Hawaii to celebrate it.  Well, as we all know only too well - no Rich, no Hawaii, and no celebration - except...

I know there are many reasons to be grateful.  The wind chimes reminded me of that.

   

When they broke, I compared them to my heart, which had been broken into jillion pieces. I know that I could either have the wood replaced - and rehang them or I would buy some new ones, but that I would have wind chimes hanging outside my bedroom window - someday.  And I said that the music they would make might be different but they would bring me joy.

And this week, those wind chimes suddenly appeared - hanging - by my bedroom window.

So that last night as the wind began to blow - ever so gently, I began to hear - the music of those wind chimes. And I was aware that time had passed and it had become - the fiftieth anniversary of Richard Peter Suhey's birth.

It seemed, to me, appropriate - that the first time I heard those chimes was on this day.  I am so glad Rich was born and I am so glad I had the opportunity to know him, to love him and to be loved by him.  Our life together was short, but it was good. 

Just as the wind is making those chimes sing, the circumstances of my life today, are giving me reason to sing.  And we do have reason to celebrate.  We can celebrate his life and the way his life - changed mine.

So this note is to thank you for repairing and hanging my wind chimes.  Just as you have always said, "Everything's gonna be all right" Thank you for what you've done in my life to help that become a reality.

I love you, daddy.

Now here it is 20 years later.  The wind chimes are still hanging.  There's not much wind this morning but I really think I heard them ring a few minutes ago.  Just a simple reminder of the thanksgiving I have in my heart for a daddy like Earl Huffingham and a sweetheart whose name was Rich.

May your life be filled with enough Sunshine 

to make you appreciate the Shadows

Turkey 'toup, spinach and a park somewhere off I95 in South Georgia

Everybody has one.

A best Thanksgiving memory.

You don't.  Let me share some of mine.

The Huffingham family was visiting good friends in South Carolina.  After a delicious dinner, daddy was resting in the room we were sharing.  Cindy and I were teenagers and the boys were probably 5 and 3.

In typical Earl Huffingham fashion, these words came out of his mouth.  "I sure hope she (our hostess) isn't making turkey soup".  Our daddy was a finicky eater.

When we made our way to the dinner table, you guessed it, it was set with soup bowls and sure enough...there it was.

It was Lester's turn to ask the blessing and his words are forever etched in my mind - "Thank you for the turkey toup",

Many years later, two days before Thanksgiving, the one that I was going to be bringing my family to Jacksonville for a Huffingham Thanksgiving, Tray was burned badly on the Monday before we would be traveling.

When I called home to say we would not be coming, there was no hesitation on mother and daddy's part.  They simply loaded up three cars with family, a turkey and all the trimmings and came to us.  Mother and Cindy prepared a delicious Thanksgiving dinner and Raymond and Margaret Parker (the other grandparents) stayed with Tray who was hospitalized so that I could be with my family.

In 1986, Margaret Parker was very ill and we know her time on earth was short.  So my parents, my children and I loaded up in the RV that belonged to Robert and Cindy and drove to Winston-Salem to say goodbye.  It was Thanksgiving Day.  My mother, in typical Iva fashion, had purchased a small turkey breast and we stopped at a park off  I95 and enjoyed a nice lunch.  She had even brought along a table cloth and some candles.

Rich Suhey passed away just before Thanksgiving in 1998.  We had planned to be in San Francisco so no one had included me in their Thanksgiving plans.  Not to worry - Wally, Renee, Tray and I just went to Cracker Barrel.

And about the spinach.

One of Ray Parker's traditional Thanksgiving sermons is called "thank you for the spinach".  In the sermon he describes so many of the things he liked to eat - fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy and chocolate cake.  He also said that in the middle of the table was something he didn't like - spinach.

However - his mother always made him eat what was good for him before he could enjoy what he really loved.

That's how life is -  Difficult times, distasteful though they may be, are a part of it. That's one thing our parents taught us -- As our mother would say - I Thessalonians 5:18 wasn't put in the scripture by accident.

Take some time this Thanksgiving - see if you can't remember some of those special days of food, family and friends.

And be thankful!

May your life be filled with enough Sunshine 

to make you appreciate the Shadows

My personal cornucopia

I loved the holidays when I was growing up

We didn't need a horse-drawn sleigh to get to our grandmother's house.

We didn't cross a river or go through any woods.

And yet - it was a special time.

One of my fondest memories is of the cornucopia that was always a part of Grandma Nesmith's Fall decorations.  I'm not sure what happened to that piece of pottery but the picture of it has remained in my mind.

So much that I always have a cornucopia somewhere in my home each November.

A cornucopia is also called a horn of plenty and it is used as a symbol of abundance.

In my mind, I like it to represent my life.

From the family I was born into, to the family that Ray Parker and I were privileged to parent and the families that those three children have created -- I am truly blessed.

Rebecca Lynn - 11/26/71

Paula Renee - 11/17/74

I am writing this on November 16.  On this day in 1974 our first child, Rebecca (who would turn three on November 26 of that year) and I enjoyed her last day as an only child.  We read, had her three-year-old picture taken at Olan Mills and made Rice Krispie treats.

Later that night I was headed to Erlanger Hospital in Chattanooga, Tennessee where her little sister, Renee was born.

To say that both of these girls have been a blessing in my life seems way too simple.  The song "I've been waiting for you" from Mama Mia 2 describes the way I felt when Becca was born.  I had no idea how much I wanted a little girl until I held her in my arms that first day.

And if I thought having one little girl was a blessing - having two has been huge!

Through the years, both of my daughters have continued to bring me such joy.  They have become strong women who love God, their husbands and their children.

They are independent and they allow me to be independent as well.  But you let something happen in my life, they are all over it.

Within hours on what can easily be the most difficult day of my life, November 17, 1998, the day I learned that Rich Suhey had "not survived"cardiac arrest, my daughters and their brother were at my side. For 21 years they have continued "to let me be" when they didn't see a need and to be right where they should when there's an issue that requires their assistance and encouragement.

Do I really like all of the fruits and vegetables that go into a horn of plenty?  And neither do I like the sad things that I have happened in my life.  However, I know that all of the ups and downs, good tasting fruit and nasty vegetables combine into my own personal horn of plenty.

I really am blessed abundantly!  And I thank God for my family and friends who have made that a reality.

May your life be filled with enough Sunshine 

to make you appreciate the Shadows

Thank you for your service

Veteran's Day, 2019. 

We'll probably have to remind our mother that today is Veteran's Day -- That would be important to our daddy.  I could have also named this - Our life with a Veteran!

My sister, Cindy nor I knew much about daddy's time in the Philippines.  We knew we never ate lamb or fruit cocktail because those things were served on the ship as he rocked across the Pacific in 1942.  That was the extent of what he remembered about the War.

Our parents endured almost four years of the first five of their marriage half a world apart.

In my mother's things, I have found photos and letters that they sent to each other when daddy was in the Philippines.  They had married a few months after daddy enlisted, something he did just weeks after the Japanese had bomb Pearl Harbor.  In December 1941, daddy gave mother an engagement ring,  He knew he was going to enlist and he knew she would wait for him.

He missed her high school graduation, but that was okay.  She had made a beautiful white dress that she knew would also serve as her wedding dress.  In mid-July, he called her from Shreveport, Louisiana where he was stationed.  He had made Sergeant.  There was enough money for them to be married.

Glendale Community Church canceled prayer meeting for their wedding on August 5, 1942.

They had seven weeks in Shreveport before he learned he was shipping out and she boarded a train to come home to Jacksonville.  They often told us about that time of wedded bliss.

Then 43 months later, he came home.  Somewhere there is a photo of them in the front yard of the Nesmith family home "kissing".  Her words in her scrapbook were: "Oh happy day, he's home to stay".  They were ALWAYS kissing.

74 years ago next month, daddy's service to Uncle Sam came to an end.  They were able to build a house and he took some college courses on the GI Bill.  Daddy never bragged about the help he got.  I think sometimes he was almost embarrassed.  He thought his service to our country was an honor.

Cindy and I never heard the stories.  Our brothers, Jonathan and Lester, heard some of them, but you let him have grandsons....all six of them have heard lots of stories.  I guess it was okay to talk about things like that with boys.  Three of them, Chad, Brad and Tray followed in his footsteps and are Veterans.

One of our family's greatest joys was when daddy reunited with some members of his squadron and they began to have reunions.  What a fun weekend in the early 90's when that group came to Jacksonville.  We had a blast

When Rich Suhey died in 1998, daddy insisted that his coffin be covered in an American Flag and my son, Tray, in his National Guard dress uniform handed me that folded flag following the service at the cemetery.

"We are thankful for his service".

I think that's the first time I heard those words.  It certainly wasn't the last.

One thing daddy always did when he saw any member of the armed forces was to thank them for their service.

Our mother carried on that habit.  We were sharing breakfast in a restaurant when she got up from the table.  She was already on a walker and I'll never forget her slowly making her way toward some soldiers who were sitting at a nearby table.  I listened as she said, "I just wanted to say thank you for your service."

Daddy had been gone a few months when we learned about a program for the Surviving Spouse of a Veteran.  Although it took a while, each month there's a deposit into mother's bank account from a program called Aid and Attendance. Sometimes I wonder how daddy would feel about this.

I'm pretty sure that since this is to help his honey, he'd be grateful.

As for my siblings and me.    Each month as I use these funds for our mother's care, I always think.

"Hey daddy, Thank you for your service!"

May your life be filled with enough Sunshine 

to make you appreciate the Shadows

In all kinds of weather. . .

"It was daddy's favorite day," my brother, Lester, noted.  He was talking about FL/GA.

I had asked my mother what her favorite FL/GA experience was and she said the year Lester brought his friends home for the game.

Our parents' home was always one that was very welcoming to our friends.  Lester's college experience is a wonderful example of that.  And both mother and daddy thoroughly enjoyed that time in their lives.  They loved going to games and seeing Lester and his friends and were very pleased when he brought them home.

We are not sure where they put all those friends that year.

Kind of like we are not sure where daddy always found enough money to take care of all of us. But he did.  You know that old saying about robbing Peter to pay Paul.  Earl Huffingham was the master at that.

And Iva Huffingham was a master at serving.


This photo was taken in 1980.  That was the year of the famous Buck Belue to Lindsay Scott pass and run that won the game for Georgia. It is obvious that it's a "before the game" shot.  They did all come back to our home for spaghetti that was prepared by daddy's friend, Mr. Nick.

Sometimes people ask us why we are such ardent Florida fans.  From the first game our daddy went to at what was then called Florida Field, he became a Gator.  I think I was maybe two years old and I know no time in my life when the Gators were not important to daddy.  He loved the sport, but he loved the tradition.

In the summer, he counted the days until "We are the Boys".

Which brings me to why it's important - "In all kinds of weather, we all stick together".

That would be one of the mantra's that covers our family.  Four children, three "in-laws", 11 grandchildren (8 are married), Five step-grandchildren (two are married) and 17 greats plus 2 step greats.  That's more than 50 individuals.

And all of us would say that we so highly value the love of the Gators that Earl instilled in us (even the ones who grew up to be Seminoles).

But of course, it's more than a college team that we appreciate.  What we appreciate is the passion that they had - for God and each other.  And the way they taught us to share that.

So this year's FL/GA didn't turn out the way we wanted.

The other thing our daddy taught us -- Wait until next year!

He was a very patient man.