"Your mother has the wrong kind of hearing aids"
What?
We have been working on her inability to hear for so many years. It has been a long and arduous process - certainly for her - but also for those of us who have something to say.
I guess others in addition to me have something to say.
At any rate, I made the earliest appointment available with our regular audiologist and I told my mother about it; put it on her calendar and arranged my Monday around that appointment.
For the past few weeks I have endeavored to find opportunities for mother to get out a bit and this weekend I decided to take her to my church for the late Sunday afternoon service.
As we left, my mother began to weep. Through her tears she asked, "How much money do I have? Can we save for the hearing aids the doctor suggested."
She was so upset that she hadn't been able to hear our pastor's sermon.
She had forgotten that we have an appointment today. I had not forgotten and I got angry.
I mean banging my hands on the steering wheel angry.
We arrived at her home with me trying to explain to her that I have a plan...first see our regular audiologist - then go from there.
I left her talking with one of her friends - probably telling the woman that I was really cranky.
She would be right.
After a night of tossing and turning, I woke up to these words - "Now unto Him who is able to keep you from falling. . .". I found the rest of the Scripture in Jude. I read the words preceding those - and two words jumped off the page at me - "Have compassion".
Oh me. I'm supposed to be the compassionate one. I genuinely care about others. I hadn't been showing my mother much compassion. She cannot help it that her hearing has failed.
I also cannot help it that sometimes the responsibility of being a caregiver gets heavy, discouraging.
I knew the plan. But she has missed it. She is, after all, going to be 96 in a few months.
So this morning = having waked up feeling pretty irritated with the whole situation, I have accepted the fact that I needed an attitude adjustment.
Let's see how long I can accept this is sunshine rather than feel like I am in the shadows!
May your life be filled with enough Sunshine...
...to make you appreciate the Shadows
Paula, always remember that you are a blessing to your Mom and a good and caring daughter. You are so lucky to still have your Mom at 96.
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