Give the world a smile

Southern Gospel is one of my favorite musical genres.  I recently heard an old quartette rendition of a song called "Give the world a smile" and it made me think about the value of - a smile.

One of my regular "pamperers" was doing what she does best.  As she worked on my nails, she was singing.  She seemed happy.  I know enough about her life to know that there are many reasons that she should not be happy.  

I didn't say anything, but after a few minutes she looked up and said "It makes me feel better when I sing" and I thought  - she found her smile.

Having been where she is...I can tell you ...sometimes it's hard to find one!

However, as the saying goes - Smile and the world smiles with you - Frown, and you frown alone.

I've been thinking about smiles this week and wondering. . .

What makes you smile?

I doubt it's frogs or squirrels.

I know  - neither are particularly attractive but they have been known to make me smile. 

Dr. Keith Holland is a Jacksonville dentist who led an expedition into the depths of the St. Johns in the late 80's in search of what remained of the Maple Leaf, the Yankee cargo ship that had been torpedoed by the Confederate army near the end of the Civil War.  A celebration of the 150th anniversary of that event brought the divers to the Mandarin Museum and they have been so well-received that thy come back once a month with tales of their adventure to share with visitors.

It was on one of those visits to the museum that I met two baby squirrels that Keith was nursing.  I watched as Keith cared for them. To be honest, I had thought him to be rather gruff, but it was fun to see his part of his personality.

I was mesmerized by the care he offered those squirrels.  
And he became my friend.

Now this year - it's frogs.  The same ones that are showing up in many Mandarin yards and parks and along the roadsides in this part of Duval County  And I am happy to say that the creator of those frogs is my friend.

And as it happens, he wants to remain anonymous. He is a Mandarin resident and a member of a family that's been here since 1785.

"I just want people to smile," he said when asked why he got so involved in this project.

"And, it gives me a smile," he continued.

For several months now, the frogs have been available "FOR SALE" at the Mandarin Museum and Historical Society on Saturdays.

I was there on a weekday as a part of my responsibilities as the Volunteer Coordinator.  A woman came to the door and wanted a frog.

I politely said, "you need to come when the Museum is open." Her face made me think of a child who hears no more ice cream or candy.  Of course, I welcomed her into the Museum and took her money.  

Money - now there's something that is making the Museum's Board of Directors happy.  The frogman doesn't want one penny of the money.  

It all goes to the museum.  What a great fundraiser!

Florida Times Union columnist, Mark Woods, was at the Museum this week and wrote a story about this phenomenon that has invaded Mandarin. Channel Four sent a reporter to do a story.  People are curious .

Do frogs have anything to do with the purpose of the Museum?  Well, no.

But curious people come for a frog and have the opportunity to learn so much about Mandarin's history - from Harriett Beecher Stowe to that ship that lies on the bottom of the river near the museum - - to the only remaining one-room schoolhouse in Duval County - not to mention enjoy a great park.

And I happen to know that most Saturdays from 9 AM - 4 PM one will most likely find the Frogman - smiling.

I don't really like squirrels or frogs.

I do like smiles and the people that make that happen.  You know what they say "you're never fully dressed without one."

"I'd do it all again"

"I figured out a way I'm like you," my son, Tray, told me.

"I'm a "rememberer."

Yep - that's right.  Tray remembers everything, just like his mama.

That's not a surprise to you, is it?  I not only remember, but I am also always happy to share every detail of the memory.

That has been evident this week as I have shared memories of my daddy who died on this date in 2009.

Another thing about me (that you already know) is that one of the ways I deal with emotion is through taking my thoughts and putting them into words and then on a computer screen, .etc. etc. etc.

And so it is that this week I have been remembering and talking about those memories.

Reviewing scrapbooks and photo album has been a great experience for me.

In 1999 my parents asked for my help in putting their story together so that their children and those who come behind us have the knowledge of who they were. The title of the project is "From the Roots, the Tree Blossoms."   By this time there are more than fifty of us (children, marriages, grandchildren and their mates and great grandchildren plus the ones who came to us by way of second marriages).  The book included stories and events including a statement daddy made at their 50th wedding anniversary.

"I would like for these words to be on my marker when I die," he said.

"I'd do it all again."

Daddy died just a month after their 67th wedding anniversary.

That afternoon as he lay dying, the Rev. Kevin Pound, my parents' minister, stood by daddy's bedside and personalized the 23rd Psalm as he prayed.  He said things like "We know you are Earl's shepherd, that you have prepared a table for Earl and that Earl with dwell with you in the house of the Lord forever."

That touched our mother. She forgot what daddy wanted to have on his marker.  She had these words engraved..."Dwelling in the House of the Lord forever".

Please don't misunderstand me.  It was mother's privilege to make that choice.

However, I believe his words are a  precious complement (to our mother - to us - and our children), but more than that I think what a blessing he was to us.  He always had a peppermint in his pocket, a song when we were down, and a dollar when we needed it.  He loved to be our "sugar daddy."

I think my brother, Lester's words sum it all up best:

"I always knew he loved reminding me that he had done something for me. He really was the biblical example of what God the Father is to us."

As one of the branches - I can say without reservation --

I'm glad he did it the FIRST time.

May your life be filled with enough sunshine

to make you appreciate the shadows

Mom's worried

This is what's left of my silver service.  Over the years I've had many more pieces.  Some came from my Grandma Nesmith, some from my paternal grandmother who we called Grandma Lonnie and some from my mother.

If my children had visited me on a recent afternoon they would have said "Mom's worried."   It was a sure sign when they were growing up. Cleaning the silver meant that something was amiss in their mother's world.

However, that day I  cleaned the silver because it was dirty and sadly the years have taken such a toll that even the greatest amount of Wright's silver polish and elbow grease did hardly anything.  One reason could be that I no longer use the old-fashioned methods but now put the silver into a premade liquid that works - sort of.

Earlier that week I was having a conversation with my mother about the difficulties of change even thought we hopefully grow through it.

I reminded her of some of the times that I was in great turmoil and felt like my prayers were bouncing off the ceiling.

Many years ago when my marriage to Ray Parker was first showing signs of trouble, I spent what seems to have been a night that lasted 24 hours struggling with the unrest and pain that I was feeling. My friend, Eileen Felten, had counseled me.  I wasn't sure that anything she said might work.

However I kept praying  and it was as if an angel came and sat on my bed and told me that if I didn't love Ray, God loved him and He would love him through me. Later that year our first child was born and by the end of 1977 we had two more bundles of joy.

Many people know of the difficult delivery and first months of our son, Tray's life and how once again an angel came and told me that it was okay to love my baby. If God took him, he would give me the strength to bear that sorrow.

I honestly believe those times were growth times.  But I reminded my mother that I'm still waiting for an angel's visit regarding the loss of Rich Suhey and that's been almost 18 years ago.

There have been other trying times - and through those times, I know that God has been with me.

For a current example -

I learned that I was no longer needed on a temporary assignment that I really liked.Not to mention the fact that I like that deposit showing up in my bank account each week.  While I was shocked - I am not undone.

And although I cleaned the silver that afternoon I am not worried.

I truly believe that Romans 8:28 applies to me!  Which is why I can end this blog with the image that hangs by my desk.

No angels needed - this time :)

May your life be filled with enough sunshine

to make you appreciate the shadows

Forgiveness means Freedom

I've been on both sides.

I've been hurt but I have also been the culprit for someone else's pain.

There's no way in the world for me to count the number of times I have had to say "I'm sorry".  Usually (but not always) it's because my mouth got ahead of my brain and I said something spiteful, 

There have of course been things I have done that I was sorry for.  However, one thing my mother taught me is that I don't have to hang out all my dirty wash so if you think I'm about to give you some expose of my life...you might as well stop reading.

I have also been hurt, felt betrayed, heard words that were biting and truth be told made me want to retaliate.  

There have been circumstances where I ended up on the losing end of what should have been a winning situation  Once I lost a job because someone else wanted the position. Once I was told I had betrayed someone and that was  not only not true, it was mean and hurtful that anyone would have thought I was mean and hurtful.

Like the rest of you, I could go on and on.

However, I heard a statement recently that touched my heart.

I was watching a Hallmark movie.  I had missed the first hour, but apparently a young man had lost his parents in some sort of brutal way.  He was bitter and had chosen many wrong paths.  He was the sole heir to a fortune.  But the benefactor, his grandmother who loved him dearly, had recognized his worth and set up a plan to help him grow up before he could have the funds.

One of his mentors in the process spent time with him encouraging him to put the past behind him.  To "forgive" the persons who took his parents lives and to see if he could find freedom in the forgiving.

I had never thought of that before.  And yet it makes sense.  If we hang on to the hurt, it can do nothing be harm us...in our relationship with others and especially in our relationship with God

And why should we give the other person the satisfaction....Ooopsss -that doesn't sound like letting it go, does it?