Who's driving the boat?

He had wanted a boat for a long time.  So when his mother passed away in 1997 and he received some funds from the sale of her New Jersey home, he decided that he would buy a boat.



The Manatee - 1997-1999

It was late October and Rich Suhey and I had a great time shopping - looking - thinking and finally he found the boat he wanted.  I'll never forget the day we came to Julington Creek Marina and picked it up - making our way through Julington Creek to the St. Johns River, under the Buckman, waiting for a train that was crossing at the Acosta and then getting gas at River City before continuing under the Main Street and all the way around to where it would be docked in the Arlington River at Colonial Point where I owned a condo.  Rich knew a lot about cars and motors, but this was a tad different.  We laughed a lot that day.

And we enjoyed the boat.  It was named the Manatee and I kept telling him we should change the name but we never go around to it.  In March of 1998 we stood on the deck and vowed to love and cherish each other for the rest of our lives.  It was such a happy time for both of us.

One lovely Saturday we invited my parents to come with us for an afternoon cruise.  They were in the galley and Rich and I were manning the controls on the upper deck when he decided to go down and check on them.

My mother - so Rich remembered - exclaimed - "who's driving the boat?"

They were a little surprised with his answer - "Paula".

She even had to take a picture.

That was a long time ago.  After Rich died I kept the boat for a few months but soon knew it was time to let it go.  I shared the proceeds with our children and the friend who helped me sell it,  You know that saying - "the best day in a person's life is the day he/she buys a boat and the next best day is the day it is sold".  That is how I felt - but I have never forgotten that boat.

In fact, I often find myself drawn to walk across the Julington Creek Bridge and look at the boats that are moored there.

And the fact that I could drive a boat?  It really wasn't that hard.  Could I have docked it?  Probably not.  But I could steer in open waters.

Sometimes it seems like my life is like a boat.  And I've gotten pretty good at being the captain. Mainly because I know that although I'm using my eyes to see where I am going and my hands are on the wheel - I am depending on God to do the navigating.

In 2001 my parents moved back to Jacksonville from the retirement area they had enjoyed in St. Augustine.  I was alone; my children were grown.  It was easy for us to sort of take care of each other.  That care became more and more me caring for them as the years went by.

A few weeks ago, my brother Jonathan and his wife, Tammie, decided it was time for them to get some of the blessings of having our mother so they invited her to come to live with them and she has accepted.

For the first time in 12 years I'll be captaining the boat - without a crew - or any passengers.

It's exciting - and strange - and curious and maybe a little scary.  I've had a crew (three children) and passengers (my parents) for more 30 years (since I became a single mother in 1982).  It will be interesting to see where my boat ends up.

I'm glad I know Who's driving it.