What's my name?

My brother, Lester, reminded me of an old family game recently after he had been in the home of some of my grandchildren.  He said my granddaughter, who knows he is connected to our family, but doesn't know him well, asked him his name...

"Puddin and tane; ask me again and I'll tell you the same".

Lester told me this was met with a quizzical look so he did it again and she still was unsure.  In a few minutes her little brother arrived on the scene and it made perfect sense to him!

A few weeks later that same little boy was choosing the person who would ask the blessing at a family dinner and he suggested that Uncle Lester pray.  One minor detail - Uncle Lester wasn't there, but Mr. Coulter was and he asked the blessing.

Why is a name important?  Well, certainly better to call someone by name rather than just say "Hey you".  And when we were growing up, we were not allowed to refer to anyone (especially our mother) with a pronoun.  Had to use the name.

But what about the surname.

In 1967 when I married Ray Parker, I would have never dreamed of not taking his name. 

Fifteen years into that marriage we divorced.  We had three children whose name is Parker, so I certainly didn't go back to Huffingham, but I have always wished that I had at least kept Huffingham in the legal name.  I married Rich Suhey and although I loved one of my nicknames - P2 (as in P squared), I was happy to go through the steps of changing my name again.

For 15 years my name has been Paula Huffingham Suhey - something I don't see myself giving up.  Except I suddenly realized that it's not the Suhey that I can't give up.  It's the Huffingham.  So I've devised a plan.  I'm going to have a professional name - Paula Huffingham.  I'm going to have a professional banner under which I write - Paula's Pen.

I'm not sure what all this might this entail. I do know I have a new gmail account - Paulaspen2013@gmail.com that I will use for business correspondence henceforth.  That's kind of cool.

And, happily I don't have to give up - Paula, mom, grand or grandma, Aunt P or sweetheart!  After all - a rose by any other name - smells just as sweet!

You look like me

 

Granddaughter #2, Allie, was helping me learn to make better use of my cell phone - including taking photos.  We took this photo  and she suddenly said -

"Grand - you look like me!"

This was funny to us because most of the time we think she looks like her daddy, Wally. 

However, Allie is right.  We do look alike - our smiles, the way our eyes crinkle and much as I hate this part - our noses.

I remembered once watching her older sister, Abbie, walk down the hall and thinking "Abbie walks like my Grandma Lonnie" and as I thought about that, I thought I bet Abbie walks like me...of course I have never seen myself walk.

Oh, this thing called DNA.

As I have been thinking about that fun experience with Allie, I thought well - if I look like her then that's a pretty good deal.  I would also hope that I could act like her.  She is a very energetic, caring, little girl who is smart as a whip (as are all of my grandchildren, of course).

And if I look like her then she must look like me.  But do I want her to act like me?

That makes me want to act all the better, don't you think?

This past Sunday, in addition to celebrating Mother's Day, our family had another special day that we remembered.  My maternal grandfather, Ellie Wallace Nesmith, was born on May 12, 1897.  He would have been 116 years old.

I remember many special things about granddaddy - none the least of which is something he often said to me "Pretty is as pretty does" - or as the prophet Samuel said to Jesse, father of David, when he was in search of the next king of Israel - "Man looks on the outward appearance, but God looks on the heart".

All of my grandchildren look OR act a little like me - because all of them look OR act a little like their parents.  It is my hope that all of them - come to understand that what's important is how we look on the inside.

Who looks like you?

PS This Friday, Allie is doing something that I did as a fourth grader. Do you think I look like her?

Paula and Miss Hall - Fourth Grade trip to St. Augustine - Have fun, Allie!

Fearfully and wonderfully made

It is not a secret.  I like words.  Actually that's a bit of an understatement.  I love words.  Whether they are on a page, a computer screen or if I hear them -- I just enjoy words.

 

A James Michner quote hangs behind my desk - "I love the swirl and the swing of words as that tangle with human emotions".

 

Tangle with human emotions - hum.

 

I was raised in a Bible church.  That means that we believed the Bible, practiced what it said and actually memorized some of the words, verses and even chapters.

One verse I'll always remember is Psalm 119:11.  "Thy word have I hid in my heart, that I might not sin against thee."  Or as it reads in The Message:  "I’ve banked your promises in the vault of my heart so I won’t sin myself bankrupt".

Is memorization the best way to learn?  If one knows that words - but not how to apply them to life - is that helpful? 

When the Von Trapp children were learning to sing and knew all about the scale and the do, re, mi's, one of them told Maria that "doesn't mean anything". 

So - just because I know the words - I also have to know how to put them into practice.  Many times in my life those words that I memorized as a child have been brought to mind when I needed encouragement or yes, even sometimes, discipline.

 

I gave my children the same opportunity that I had had as a child.  They went to church and Sunday School, youth camps and mission trips and they were taught the value of learning Scripture.

When I visited in my daughter, Renee's home recently, I saw once again the many places where a Bible verse has been placed for family members to read, appreciate and apply in their own lives.

 

Some familiar words had been written on the shower door in my granddaughters' bathroom. "I am fearfully and wonderfully made. . .(Psalm 139:14).

 

I thought what a great place for those words . . .especially for we females who constantly battle with self-esteem.  I don't like that but I believe it to be true and when we are totally vulnerable as when we are going to take a shower...how much more! 

 

Self esteem issues, being vulnerable - human emotions.

 

With words from Scripture to help us deal with them.

 

Continuing to reflect on what I read and my reactions I checked out what The Message says -

"You know me inside and out,  you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,  how I was sculpted from nothing into something."

And I though how good it is to know that even though I may not always like what I see - I really am "something"!  It's like that old cliché "God don't make no junk"!

,

". . .Rain in due season. . .".

I remember it like it was yesterday - rather than 46 years ago.

The preceding summer I had accepted Ray Parker's proposal of marriage.  After the Fall semester of our Sophomore year at Bryan College, I had elected to forgo my education for a while and spend that second semester getting ready to get married.  We were going to be married on my parents' 25th wedding anniversary, August 5, 1967.

However, once I got home to Jacksonville, I began to have doubts.  Doubts that convinced me that I should "break" our engagement and I did.

And then I began to wonder...did I do the right thing?

It was a Sunday morning in the middle of April.  I walked into the church I had been raised in and was handed a bulletin.  On the front was a picture of a darling little girl, with an umbrella over her shoulder and a bouquet of flowers in her arms.  These words were included:  "If ye walk in my statutes, and keep my commandments, and do them; ⁴ Then I will give you rain in due season. . .". (Leviticus 26:3,4a)....

Oh my.

From the time I was 15, I knew God wanted me to be a minister's wife (now in another economy, I know that might have meant I was called to be a minister, but this was the sixties and girls didn't do that).  Ray Parker was called to be a minister. 

Were we different?  Yes.  But maybe that would make our lives together better.

And so a phone call and a trip to see Ray where he was finishing his Sophomore year and the wedding was on again.  August 5th arrived - and there was a beautiful wedding where we said our vows "in the providence of God".

Fifteen years, four states and three children later, that marriage would end.. . much for the same reasons that I had wondered if it should really begin - we were very different.

But . . . I was still glad that I had read that scripture and headed it in 1967.  I had gained many blessings through that marriage, none the least of which would be a little girl named Becca and one named Renee and a son whose name is Tray.

Now here we are.  Who would have ever dreamed that 30 years ago this month, that marriage would end in divorce?  And somehow both of us have survived - and now we share seven grandchildren and we are even Facebook friends.

Life, at its best, is hard.  There can be no denial of that.  However...I still believe if I obey what I believe God is calling me to do...then the blessings are out there for me to appreciate and enjoy.

Reminds me of a verse in I Samuel...to obey is better than to sacrifice...but that's for another day.