They were both named Margaret; born in the mid twenties; died way too young; and loved their sons dearly.
My connection to them - I also loved their sons - in fact I still do.
I never met Margaret Cherpok Suhey but my home is filled with things that belonged to the woman of Czechoslovakian descent, who was born and raised in a Pennsylvania village and grew up to marry Peter Suhey. When Marge Suhey died in 1997, Rich and I (and my parents) went to New Milford, New Jersey, where we packed a U-HAUL truck and brought back furniture, linens and many other household items that became a part of our home when Rich and I married the next year. Although that marriage was short-lived (because of his death after 8 months and 4 days of marriage), I love all the reminders I have in my home today - that are a part of Rich's heritage.
I'll never forget the first time I saw the other Margaret. My parents and I were en route to Bryan College in Dayton, Tennessee where I was about to enter my freshman year. We found a little restaurant, the Daytona Cafeteria, and as we enjoyed our lunch, we saw two couples at one table and two nice looking young men at another. The next day I saw those young men on campus. They were both aspiring "preacher boys" from Winston Salem, North Carolina.
I later learned that one of the mothers had remarked, "Look at those people, I bet that girl is going to Bryan, too."
I learned that from Margaret Gentry Parker when she and her husband, Raymond came to see their son about 6 weeks after that day in the Daytona Cafeteria.
By this time, Ray Parker and I were an "item".
I did know Margaret Parker very well. And not just my home, but my life, is filled with a huge part of her. I have always appreciated the heritage that my children have - Nesmith/Huffingham or Gentry/Parker. And I have very special memories of my first mother in law.
I think the most precious was the day she said to me - "I'll see you later, Mrs. Parker," as she walked down the aisle to her seat as the mother of the groom on August 5, 1967. Then as each of our children were born, it was so dear to me to see the way she welcomed them into her arms.
Ray was an only child. His mother told me many times how much she loved children and that she missed having more. She was especially sorry she never had a little girl and when Becca was born, she was absolutely thrilled, especially because Becca looked so much like Ray. That joy was doubled when Renee was born and they had a very special relationship. And of course, when we decided that our son should carry on the name and be the "third" Raymond Lee Parker, that was the icing on the cake.
Margaret was heartbroken when my marriage to her son ended. I promised that I would do all I could to keep the grandchildren as near to them as possible. That was not always easy because we lived 750 miles apart. However, I have endeavored (sometimes not as diligently as I should have) to remind the children of their Gentry/Parker heritage.
It was a sad time in 1985 when as our children visited their dad, they learned that Mammaw had ovarian cancer. She lived about 18 months from that diagnosis. I'll always remember our visit to her bedside that Thanksgiving night and be grateful that my parents had helped me take the children to see their grandmother and their dad - in what would be a time of grief for him.
Today is the day that Margaret Irene Gentry was born.
When I think of her as a mother-in-law, I think of what I want to be now that I am in the same position. It is my prayer that I will be supportive of my children and their mates and that I will honor their commitment. I know that I love and appreciate each of them (Dale, Wally and Kristen) for what they have brought into my children's lives.
I was "officially" a daughter in law to Margaret Parker for about 15 years, but I always felt like I was a daughter in love. In the same manner, I have been a mother in law for 17, 16 and 12 years -- and if I could give myself another name I would like it to be mother-in-love!
No comments:
Post a Comment