Second thoughts

A friend and I were talking about my current projects and the question was -

“When are you going to start that shadows and sunshine thing?"

And I replied "sunshine and shadows".  The sunshine is always there.  It should come first. The shadows come when something blocks the light.

When an object blocks the sunlight it’s not a big thing.  When something that is sad or causes sorrow takes away the sunshine in our lives, that’s a bit more difficult to swallow.  The important thing, I think is that the sunshine really is ALWAYS there.

We teach our children that they don’t need to fear their shadow, that the shadow won’t hurt them.  

And that’s true in life, the sunshine can overcome the darkness if we let it.  The trials in our lives don't kill us - they just block  -- light, warmth, productivity, joy, peace, etc. etc.  That’s easy for me to say.  I’m not in the middle of anything traumatic.  But I have been which is what this blog is about.  And I know that as my friend Jeanie reminded me this week we are not alone when that time comes.  She was referencing a song, “Standing somewhere in the shadows, you'll find Jesus”. 

In words I use very often – “the faith that was instilled in me as a child…got me through that dark place”; that’s the sunshine!


My friend responded that you can't appreciate the sunshine unless you have the experience of the shadow.  HUM.

I guess another title for this blog could be sunshine amidst the shadows.

Since I posted the first blog in this venture on Wednesday, April 26^th, I have been sad.  It took a while for me to unpack the reason for my sadness and then I remembered - I had written about trials, tragedy, heartache, sorrow.

The Reverend Ronnie Willerer, told me that when we start delving into experiences that brought us to where we are today, we are bound to experience some of those same emotions.  And that's exactly what happened.  I was angry because my first marriage failed, I was disappointed because my second husband died before we could really enjoy the life we thought was ahead of us and I was as frightened as I was when my son was a baby and we didn't know what his future would be like or as I was when one of my granddaughters was diagnosed with an immune system disorder and as perplexed as I have been when I didn't have a job.  And the strangest thing - somewhere in the back of my mind,  I kept thinking if only my daddy had not died he could fix this.

As I thought I wondered -  do I really want to put my thoughts about the darkness that has prevented the sunshine in my life on a screen for others to read?

I actually did more than think.  I prayed.  And I got this answer from a friend who has known me when I was experiencing some pretty heavy sadness -  “What you are doing is expressing life experiences with emphasis on the faithfulness of God in it all.”


Those experiences are shadows - no doubt about it.  And remembering them may well make me sad or grouchy.  Bless my mother's heart.  She'll get the brunt of "Paula's in a really bad mood" experience.  Fortunately she is of the persuasion that people should share their stories as a means of encouragement to others. It is her wish that I share the ways God has been faithful

So I'm going to continue.

And in the words of Joseph when his brothers were expressing remorse for what they had done to him, selling him as a slave when he was a young boy -- “ . . . but God meant it for good,” Genesis 50:17.