Does one still celebrate Father's Day when the father has passed???
Well,
Yes.
I can celebrate the memory of a daddy who loved me – and cared for me and remember the fun times we shared. I once wrote daddy a poem. It recalled some of my memories
" Remember when you made the fudge and
placed it on a platter? And I insisted that I serve and how that glass did splatter."
Those words were based on an early childhood memory. Daddy loved to make fudge. He had made a fresh batch for our Sunday afternoon company. I insisted that I be the one to serve it. Of course, I dropped the plate. So well into my adulthood, I wrote a poem that included that experience. I thought it was a good example of the fact that so many times in my life, I bit off more than I could chew, and yet I never once thought he loved me any less as he often found a way to fix what seemed to be a splattered mess.
I penned those words in a Father's Day greeting in June 1982. By July 15 of that same year, I was sobbing my heart out on my parents' back porch. My life was shattered. And daddy's response was "everything's gonna be all right".
For the next 27 years, he told me many, many times that everything was going to be all right!
As the end of daddy's life drew near I was bold when I announced I did not want to be home when he passed. I thought I would not know how to handle it. I feared it would be just mother and me. She would be a wreck, and I would not know how to handle that. However, the Hospice nurse had worked with me, and I determined I would be okay. I didn't tell daddy that I had come to that conclusion.
We were not aware of this, however, within hours of daddy's passing, he kept asking me when I was leaving for work. I have since determined that he was trying to protect me. He thought I didn't want to be there when he took his last breath. He thought that because I never told him any different. I was there, however, and have always been glad that I was. Everything was gonna be all right!
I can also celebrate the father of my children. My life with him did not turn out the way I hoped. However, as I often say, "Have you met my children?" And then I say, "They got so much of who they are because they are Parkers." And I understand that no matter how good a mother I was, I was not their father.
Tray was playing all-star baseball when his dad was finally at a game. (He lived in Indiana; we lived in Jacksonville). Our team was behind. Tray got a hit that tied up the game. He stole second, and the batter hit a double...Tray crossed the plate, and our team won the game. He came running off the field with these words:
"Where's my dad?"
I think Tray is a better father because of the absent father he grew up with. I believe that it is because of the influence of my daddy, my brothers, and some of my male friends. Tray and his brothers-in-law, Dale and Wally, are all excellent dads to my seven grandchildren. I am so very grateful, and I joyfully celebrate the three of them.
And I celebrate those extra fathers, especially Lester and Robert.
Because church has always been a part of my life, I understand it when discussing God as our Heavenly Father. I can recite the Apostles Creed with no hesitation: "I believe in one God, the Father almighty. . .". I remember granddaddy Nesmith opening the morning worship services with these words "Our Loving Father". I learned early on that God loves me more than my father...and grandfathers. I felt very loved by them - and I feel very loved by God the Father.
My thought is this. Daddy is not here for me to give him a present or write him a poem.
I can still celebrate him - and the other fathers in my children's lives (including their fathers-in-law, Jim England, Larry Blain, and Roger Park). And I do - with an attitude of gratitude, love, and respect.
And, of course, I give thanks for God our Father - who loves me even more!
May you have enough sunshine in your life, to make you appreciate the shadows
No comments:
Post a Comment