Iva Lou - Grandma Moses???

     When we were growing up, we knew our mother enjoyed art.  She often told us about her days at Landon High School when her teacher was Memphis Wood,  who would later be known as Jacksonville's "First Lady of Art".  She was thrilled when she learned that there is a special garden at the Mandarin Presbyterian Church that honors Ms. Wood and when I started to work at the Mandarin Museum, she enjoyed the Memphis Wood art she saw there.

     When our children were growing up she took some classes in oils.  We thought she did a pretty good job and all these years later, I love to go into a friend or family member's home and see one of the pieces that she did.

     After daddy passed, she saw a notice in her church bulletin about some art classes  That's when she began to draw.


 

    When it was time for her to move to an Assisted Living Facility, she asked for a coloring book.  One year she gave each of her children one of the books she completed  Now we have a reminder of the peace that she felt when she was coloring as well as the joy she felt when she gave something she had drawn or colored as a gift.
   This card hangs on my refrigerator.  It's a thank you for something I had done. (That would be another thing my mother is famous for).

      A few days ago, my brother in law, Robert Williams, suggested that we take her colored pencils and a couple of coloring books to the Activities Room at Westminster Woods on Julington Creek.  At first, that didn't seem to phase her.  I sat with her and colored a bird.  I wanted her to color a flower.  No response.

Our family loves this photo!

     AND then one day, I put a colored pencil in her hand and she started to color.  She completed a leaf.  I realized that she had asked me a question - "do you want me to color that?"

     We don't know if she'll ever want to color again but it is a great reminder to us of something she loved.

     We also never know who we'll find when we visit her.  This is so very difficult.  But again the faith that she and daddy instilled in us as children is the foundation that keeps us trusting.

     We don't know what the future holds...but we do know and appreciate who holds it.  And we thank our family and friends for your continued love, prayer, and support.  She would send you a thank you note if she could!

May your life be filled with enough Sunshine 

to make you appreciate the Shadows

They would say "thank you"

We have been in the process of going through some more of our mother's things.

I stumbled upon a box of note cards.  They included drawings that our mother did between 2011 and 2015 when she finally switched from being creative to coloring. Mother has been a note writer for as long as any of us can remember.  And many of our family members and friends have been the recipient of some of her sweet words of encouragement.

The timing of my discovery was perfect.

I have recently finished Love, Loss and Dementia by Lauren Austine and Holly Gershbein, two childhood friends who grew up to share the experience of their mothers suffering from dementia. The book has been so helpful.

Holly included some words entitled "If my mother could talk with me".  She says that she thinks her mother would say she had loved her from the day she was born; that her mother had a wonderful life because she was in it and that her mother thanked her for being her best friend and advocate."

On a personal note as I began to separate the note cards and put them with envelopes to use in the future I realized that I actually had taken her drawings and created those note cards.  It was really good for me to be reminded of something I did for my mother.

At this point, it is very difficult to find ways to help her.  She recognizes us but something that's a little different - she never asks for anything (I mean that with respect -we all now appreciate the fact that she always needed just one more "little thing" - and that daddy had always been able to do it -something we never quite succeeded at).

And then as if my mother were sitting at my dining room table I heard her repeat a story from her childhood.

Her great-grandma, Annie Rebecca Gamble lived with them when she was small.  Grandma Gamble loved flowers and when she watered them she always said: "Can't you just hear those flowers - they are saying thank you for the drink of water."

And then I "heard" mother say "And I thank you for all you do for me."

Somehow  - although my mother cannot take care of herself - she sent me a message that helps me take care of me!

May your life be filled with enough Sunshine 

to make you appreciate the Shadows

Does your mother like it?

Sunday, August 4 - I went to visit my mother in the Skilled Nursing Center at Westminster Woods.  She was asleep.  My attempts to waken her were not successful  I ran my fingers through her pretty silver har and kissed her on the cheek.  I took a deep breath and walked out of the door.

I had time before I was due to be at church so I stopped for a moment at the fountain.  I sat on a bench and listened as the water moved - splashing gently.

And somehow this question - that has been posed to me many times - was at the forefront of my thoughts:

Does your mother like her new home?

Truth be told - I don't have a clue.  The four weeks that she has spent there have continued to be times of confusion for her.

And yet - Truth be told

She loves it!

And how can I say that with such bold assurance?

We know our mother.

She loves her family.

If she could tell us, mother would say she is delighted to be close to three of her children, on the same property as one of her sisters and not too far from some of her grandchildren.   We have no doubt but that we are her favorite people.

Our mother loves beauty.  Westminster Woods is beautiful.

She often said she'd like to live there.  She thought it wasn't possible.  When we first took her to the Terrace, we told her that we hoped that was just a stopover.  By the time it became a reality her mind had began to fail and even then we were not sure she fully understood that we were moving her.

And probably the most important thing we know

Our mother trusts in the Lord.

If she could, we think she would tell us that all is well.    She has often repeated "Not my will but yours dear Lord - this is what my prayer will be."

The four of us and our families believe that the Lord made a way for her to be in a beautiful setting.  Now, her room is just a room.  There is no reason to glorify that part.  She has a roommate.  CNA's care for her.  Sometimes she is in a wheelchair in a room with others who are like her.  She sleeps a lot.  When she is awake she looks at us like she knows us but is just not sure how.  

I went back to see my mother around 4:30 that afternoon  She still slept  This time she tried to wake up but just couldn't.  When I left I said "I love you" and she said "I love you" back.

Again I walked by the pretty fountain.  And I thought of another reason my mother likes it.  

We like it.  

That's the kind of mother, Iva Louise Nesmith Huffingam has always been - if we liked something or someone - that's all she needed!  

We are blessed!

May your life be filled with enough Sunshine 

to make you appreciate the Shadows