Tell me why

I love words - you already know that - but did you also know there are some words I just don't like.

Take for instance a little three letter word that means - for what reason or purpose."

The word is WHY


After some insect bites recently I was dealing with swollen feet and blisters. It took three days and three different medical professionals before there was a diagnosis and a solution.

And I kept saying - why is this so difficult?.

I learned of an elderly woman who needed help with a pin number in a  bank and it took three different people before someone said "I'll do it for you".

And I wondered why did it take them so long to help?

In my continuing responsibility of the care of my mother sometimes the red tape to get to a solution takes forever....

I know I've sent exactly what they need - so it gets more and more difficult and I find myself asking "WHY?"

I was brought up to expect an answer -  our parents often told us that in song

"Tell me why the stars do shine; tell me why the ivy twines;
 Tell me why the ocean's blue and I will tell you just why I love you".

The answer being

"Because God made the starts to shine, Because God made the ivy twine
 Because God made the ocean blue because God made you that's why I love you"

That's all well and good...except sometimes - the whys are not that easy to accept...

The atrocities that we are being bombarded with; disappointment when a job falls through or the dreaded breakup of a relationship.  You can fill in your own blank.

And when I don't know why - do I just accept it?

In his account of "The Charge of the Light Brigade" Alfred Lord Tennyson seems to have a rather fatalistic view:

Theirs not to make reply,     Theirs not to reason why,     

Theirs but to do and die. 

Should we fall in line with that viewpoint?

Taking the positive track I would prefer to follow Gospel songster, Ira Stanphill's train of thought:  

 "We'll  talk it over in the bye and bye; We'll l talk it over, my Lord and I .I'll ask the reasons - He'll tell me why,When we talk it over in the bye".

I think that must be what John means when he says that God will wipe away our tears (Revelation 21:4a).

So I guess the true answer to the word WHY is the word WAIT.

I'm not believing I just typed the word WAIT.

If I'm not that crazy about why how do you think I feel about WAIT.

May your life be filled with enough sunshine

to make you appreciate the shadows

But I prayed...

The summer of 2009 is a significant time in my memory bank.  Sometime that Spring, our daddy had come to the realization that he was nearing the end of his journey on earth.  That sweet attitude was accompanied by a relaxed spirit and willingness to let us love on him and accept the love he had to give us.

We often shared a cup of coffee in the late afternoon and enjoyed chatting - about everything from sports to politics to our faith and what I was hearing from my children?

Here's a conversation I remember all too well.

Six year old Allie was in her third year of ITP (a rare auto immune disorder that affects her platelets- her blood’s ability to clot properly.)  My bright and bubbling second grandchild is the fourth of my parents great grands.   

"I've been praying for Allie," daddy began.  "And I just can't understand why the Lord hasn't healed her".

I thought his sentiments were very sweet.  However, I knew that he knew - as I do - that just because we pray about something doesn't mean it will happen.  That doesn't mean we don't pray about it anyway.

This week I am especially mindful of a time that I kept praying - even when I didn't feel like my prayers were being answered.

My third child, Raymond Lee Parker, III was born on August 10, 1977.  The delivery experience of his older sisters Becca and Renee had been quick.  I even conversed with the doctor as Renee made her entrance.  This one was different - about 14 hours different.  And it would required a Cesarean Section.  His heart rate had decreased; the cord was wrapped around his neck.  

I was heavily sedated.  I didn't have a clue what was happening.

I just remember his dad telling me we had a little boy, he was okay but they needed to "watch him closely" so they had taken him to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit in another part of the hospital.  The next hours and days were frightening to say the least.  I developed an infection.  I couldn't go into the NICU.  I knew I had a little boy, but I felt so disconnected.

I was trying to pray but it seemed as if my prayers were bouncing off the ceiling.

After what seemed like endless hours...it was as if an angel came - and I heard "it's okay to love him, if I take him, I'll give you the strength to bear it".

That was 39 years ago.  I'm still loving him.. and I might add, I am still praying for him and thanking God for the great blessing my third child has been to me.

So I know that God answers prayer.

And back to my dad's question -  Allie still deals with low platelets.

Is God not answering our prayer?

And why not?

Should we stop praying?

I don't think so.  Because what I believe to be significant in this process of "praying" is that we are taking life out of our hands - and trusting.  

Sometimes the answer is yes, when the answer is no, God gives us grace to accept it.

I didn't say that this is easy!

May your life be filled with enough sunshine

to make you appreciate the shadows

He wore khaki and she wore a long white dress

He was a native of Jacksonville, a Landon High School graduate and a soldier.  She was also a Landon High School graduate (in fact had graduated just a few months before), a girl born in South Carolina who had lived in Jacksonville since she was a child.  It was war time - just a little more than seven months into World War II.  He was stationed in Louisiana; made sergeant and wrote her a letter.

            "I am going to make enough money...we can get married", he said.

There was a flurry of activity and Glendale Community Church canceled the midweek prayer meeting.  She had made her graduation dress with the idea that it might be a good wedding gown.  She had the dress, he thought they would have enough money and they knew they were going to be happy.

That was 74 years ago TODAY - August 5, 1942.
Just a few weeks after their 67th anniversary, daddy went to Heaven.  It was a wonderful yet sad experience as we stood by the bedside as he took his last breath.
      My siblings, our children and grandchildren, our aunts and uncles and cousins - plus a myriad of friends - value my parents marriage greatly. I valued it so much that I chose to marry Ray Parker on mother and daddy's 25th wedding anniversary.  That marriage may not have survived - but the children who came from it continue to be a blessing to me.

Seven years ago as they marked their 67th anniversary we knew that daddy's time with us was short. We were all watching as mother and the Hospice staff cared for him. I was keeping a journal that I later put together and often share with those who are in similar experiences.  One of the postings. written on August 5, 2009  is "That word is LOVE".  It was based on this Sophocles quote:   "One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life. That word is LOVE."  
     There was a weight and pain.  And there was much love!
     Our parents' love has been the underlying strength in all of our lives for many years. We consider it to be a rich and lasting heritage and that we are truly blessed.
     And all of us appreciate the hot summer August 5th in 1942 when he wore khaki and she wore a long white dress,

May your life be filled with enough sunshine

to make you appreciate the shadows