Listen...

     One of my favorite Sunday night activities is the 7 p.m. service at the Episcopal Church of Our Saviour.  Held in the chapel, a small group of regulars come each week to worship. As a Chalice Bearer/Reader, it is my privilege to read the scripture, assist the clergy and lead in the prayers of the people.
     That's my favorite part.  Rather than responding verbally to what is read the, people sing...
     "Listen God is calling, to the world inviting - Offering forgiveness, comfort and joy"
     Probably one of the most difficult things for me to do is listen.
     I would much rather talk.
     However, as we heard in the sermon this past Sunday - Lent is a season to listen.
     Actually what the priest said is that it is a season of discernment and I remember being in discernment regarding a "Call to ministry" when I read a book called "Listening Hearts"
     Must have something to do with listening - don't you think?
     And what do you think I am trying to say, anyway?
     Well I am asking myself a question.  Because I have realized that I am once more at a crossroad in my life and once more I am changing roles.
     I've done this before - change roles I mean.
     All of us have.. .
     Most of the times I have done this willingly.  Once I did it "going down kicking and screaming".  That was when I was no longer a pastor's wife.  I really liked that role.  In fact, in many ways I felt that God had specifically called me to be a pastor's wife.  I have later said that had I not been a child of the 50's, I might have become a pastor - but we all know that girls didn't grew up to be pastors way back then.
     However, with God's help, I survived that role change and now more than 30 years later, I can recall with gratitude the opportunities I have been given to serve in some sort of ministerial capacity.
     And as I have said many times, I wouldn't change one thing about my life - even that very difficult  "single mom with children" period.  I know I'm bragging - but have you met my children?
     In 2001, I took on a new role when I became my parents' caregiver.  It was not a full time job then, but over the years, it took more of my time, talent and energy.
     Fortunately when I became a part-time employee (not really by choice) in 2008, that freed me up to have more time for the role of caregiver which by then was defining me exponentially.
     After my dad died in 2009, the care of my mother - as independent as she was - in her mind anyway, was paramount.
     I am still a bit surprised that I gave up that role as willingly as I did when our Texas family invited mother to come and live with them at the end of 2013.
     And now who am I?  What am I doing?
     Some of my friends who are retired really like the more relaxed easy life that they live.
     That's not going to work for me.
     But what?
     I have a couple of ideas...they involve ministry...but I'm not quite ready to post what I am thinking.
     Besides...I'm still listening,,,