"Lord, Say Hello to Mama"

It's one way I am like my mother.

When she and her sisters wrote about their lives in 1980, those words were the title she chose for her chapter.  Her reasoning for the title?

Ted Huffingham (our daddy's dad) died in February 1967.  My youngest brother, Lester, was five years old, and soon after Papa had died, Lester looked up to the heavens and said, "Hello, Papa".

Pauline Mercer Nesmith, who was my mother's mother, passed away in May 1971.  

Mother recounted many times that she wished she could tell her mother something. However, she developed a habit of saying it out loud, sometimes saying something like, "Lord, tell mama."

Now that my mother is also gone, I often think of something I'd like to tell her.  I remember the many cups of tea we shared, talking about our lives. I really enjoyed my mother's company.

And often when I have my afternoon cup of tea, I wish she were here for me to talk to.  She always had a different way to look at what I was dealing with.  

I recently saw an advertisement for a book entitled,  Things I Wish I Had Told My Mother.  My first reaction was rather smug.

There's nothing I didn't tell my mother.  Except. . .

Our brother Jonathan, died in 2020.  He had visited her about six weeks before his death, and although we all knew his time was short, my siblings and I agreed that we would not tell her.

It surprised us, but we believe she mentioned him only once. 

On Mother's Day in 2021, she said, "Wonder how Jonathan is?" Lester spoke up.  "I'm sure he's having a nice day".

A little more than a year later, when the funeral home representative was about to take her body away, I said, 

 "And I never had to tell you".

I remain glad that we kept that from her.

Now, if you are reading this and you know me even a little bit, you know that I tell everyone - everything.

If you knew my mother, you also know, "I got that from her."

Fortunately, I also have her smile and her eyes.

And I still talk to her - just as she talked to her mama.

 May you have enough sunshine in your life. . . .  to make you appreciate the shadows

Sentimental? ? ?

It comes as no surprise to most people when I admit that I am very sentimental. I married Ray Parker on my parents' 25th wedding anniversary, and I married Rich Suhey the weekend my mother was celebrating her 75th birthday. I also keep things for a long time. Last year, I wore the shoes I had worn to my daughter's wedding in 1995, and when they got wet, they fell apart. But that's another story.

This has been hanging in my closet for five-plus decades.  

What does one do with a wedding dress?

That was my dilemma for many years.  

When I was about to marry in 1967, my mother, my sister, Cindy, and I went shopping. Our first stop was a bridal shop in San Marco. I found what I thought was the perfect dress. It was less than $100 (Remember, this was 58 years ago). I was ready to purchase.  

However, we heard that buying the first dress was not a good idea, so we went across the river into Jacksonville. We went to Cohen's and to Furchgott's. I tried on a few, but I was still convinced that the first one was "the one." 

So, back to San Marco we went.

The salesperson was finalizing the sale of "my" dress for another bride.

I was heartsick.

However, my resourceful mother and I drew what we remembered the dress looked like and went to see her sister, Carolyn, who "loved to sew and was quite good at it. ".Together, they found patterns she could use and started making my dress. At some point, my best friend Bonnie joined the project. She is also an excellent seamstress.

We paid about $30 for the material and gave Aunt Carolyn this epergne as a thank you.  For many years, it held flower arrangements for family weddings and celebrations.  Aunt Carolyn gave it back to me several years ago.                                                                                                                      Sadly, the marriage ended after 15 years, and the dress has been hanging in my closet. I may have felt it was tainted. I knew my daughters wanted their own dresses,

I just didn't know what to do with it.  So I kept it.

And then I had a thought: Could the lace be removed and some sort of memento made for my grandchildren? Although they were born long after I was divorced from their grandpa, they have always known that I believe the children born to Ray Parker and me are an incredible blessing. They have had a good life since we were divorced, and each of them—and subsequently my seven grandchildren—has some of his good genes.

And so I found a seamstress.

If you count these, you might say - but Paula has seven grandchildren.

Third grandchild, Grace, will be the first of my grandchildren to marry when she is the bride in early summer.  She has her handkerchief.

I'm excited about her wedding. I am planning to wear the dress I wore to her parents' wedding more than 25 years ago.

Did I mention I am sentimental???

 May you have enough sunshine in your life. . . .  to make you appreciate the shadows