Where does FEAR come from?
More than 70 years ago, I took a nasty spill on a tricycle. I'm not sure that I can really remember it. But I've been told that it was frightening - not just to me but to my Pappa who was sitting with me on the landing of the upstairs apartment where we lived.
And yet I am very hesitant when I am faced with a down staircase - and will walk way out of the way to find an elevator rather than venture onto an escalator.
I was over the top -- so excited to have this opportunity.
My first interview was with the widow of a physician and our time together was remarkable. The best part of her story was that after her husband passed, she was in a long-term relationship with a man who I had known since childhood. He had also now passed.
And it was time for me to put my notes into sentences and tell the story of her husband - of course not including anything about the man I knew.
I sat - staring at my keyboard - my notes to my right.
My mother lived with me at that time and she came to the office door with a suggestion.
Would I like a cup of tea?
Glad for the diversion, I left my computer.
"Something going on with you"?
My mother always knew.
I'm afraid.
Who am I to think I can write this story? What if it's not any good? Why did I say yes to this project?
And finally, why am I afraid?
Is it because I've never done this before?
And how about Paula now???
What's standing in my way?
Is it fear?
What was it that President Franklin Roosevelt said
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself"
Hum.
May you have enough sunshine in your life
To make you appreciate the shadows
