One passed recently, and I ignored it.
Well, that's because it really wasn't an anniversary. Ray Parker and I married on Saturday, August 5, 1967. Correct - we would have just had our 50th had the marriage survived.
Of course, it did not.
Fortunately, the friendship did.
And more than that the three children who were born from our union and their children are my absolute heart's delight.
They have taught me so much - that I really don't want to forget.
Raymond Lee Parker, III was born on August 10, 1977. That means he just turned 40. When I recognized his birthday on Facebook, I said that he has brought much joy and opportunities to trust the Lord
Did I mean he was a difficult child to raise? No more difficult than any little boy who was raised in an all female household. Fortunately, there were uncles, cousins and most of all a granddaddy who helped.
But here's why it was an opportunity to trust the Lord.
My girls were born within a few hours of our arrival at the hospital. My recovery was rapid. I expected that with my third child. However, after 12 hours of labor, when his heart rate began to slow down, a decision was made. A C-Section was performed.
I woke up to a thick bandage across my abdomen and heard "We have a little boy."
And then I heard -"there are some issues. They have taken him to pediatric intensive care."
Oh, my.
And then a nurse told me - you have an infection. You can't leave your bed.
Four days later because of the circumstances, I finally went to see my little boy.
It was very strange.
I felt like I was just looking at a nursery full of little babies. I felt no emotion.
Back in my bed, I tried to pray, It seemed my prayers were bouncing off the ceiling.
I slept.
I dreamt.
An angel came - and said it's okay to love him - if you lose him - God will give you the grace to bear it.
The next time I saw my baby I could not stop the tears.
There were many times in his infancy and as a toddler that trips to the hospital were required. He was very sick as a kindergartener. There was always something.
I love to journal. Had I been a journaler when Tray was born, I'd have written of the fear I felt on August 14 and the joy I felt on the very next day. When I journaled about his 40th birthday my words expressed my gratitude - he not only survived he thrived. And continues to.
And about ignoring that anniversary (at least on Facebook).
A friend reminded me recently that when there is the disappointment, it's good to see the positive. I couldn't see any positive when my marriage ended. Even though I knew lots of scripture, I could claim. It still seemed like such a disaster.
35 years later, I can see so much good that came from all that pain.
One example is that this week is the birthday of the little girl I call Effervescent. She came to us (along with her brothers) by way of adoption. The way I see it - if my children and I had not moved to Florida 35 year ago - then Becca would not have met and married Dale - and they would never have met these children who really needed a home.
What I really don't want to forget - to give God the glory for all that has happened in my life!
May your life be filled with enough sunshine
to make you appreciate the shadows
